Monday, March 8, 2010

Brown Wins Massachusetts; Now, Republicans, Don't Screw This Up

Excuse me while I move some files from the Word Press site over here so I can delete that thing forever. If you didn't see this before, now's your chance!

Previously published 1/19/2010

I remember feeling back in November 2008 like the earth had suddenly skidded to a harrowing halt and started spinning precariously in reverse, throwing everything safe and real and decent into oblivion, as if to erase the entire American Century and plunge the nation into the dark ages.

I felt that sudden grinding halt again today, but the results were as blissful as an ocean breeze: Almost a year to the day of the inauguration of pResident Barack Obama, Republican Scott Brown shocked the entire country, delivering “Ted Kennedy’s” Senate seat to its rightful owner – the people of Massachusetts.

Massachusetts Attorney General Martha “Marcia” Coakley conceded to Brown with 79 percent of returns in. Brown now becomes the 41st Republican in the U.S. Senate, seemingly (if he’s the real deal and other Republicans stand firm) making the Democrats’ goal of sending truckloads of nanny-state legislation to the pResident’s desk nearly impossible.

By some accounts some 2 million voters came to the polls … in a snowstorm … during a special election, a remarkable turnout to pick the next senator for a seat held by a Democrat for nearly 50 years, in the most communist of the blue states.

Brown, a lieutenant colonel in the National Guard who CNN hilariously called the “insurgent” candidate, came seemingly from nowhere, a one-time Sexyist Man in America for Cosmopolitan magazine and literally a little-known state legislator who electrified Massachusetts voters and donors from across the nation, at one point last week raising a million dollars a day for his campaign.

Maybe he wasn’t the most or best “conservative” candidate for all seasons, but beyond a doubt he was the best conservative candidate for, perhaps, the most important political season of our lifetime.

And he had a lot of help.

Over the past few weeks, Coakley’s campaign had imploded in spectacular fashion, fueled in large measure by her own incompetence. Catholics shouldn’t work in hospital emergency rooms because of their views against abortion. Scott Brown was a lowlife for waiting outside Fenway Park to shake hands with fellow lowlifes leaving a hockey game. Voters were too stupid to understand the healthcare deform bill. Red Sox great Curt Schilling was a Yankee fan.

Who needs SNL when you have “Marcia” Coakley around? You just can’t make shit like this up.

By the time Monday arrived, Coakley’s phone banks were empty. So were three quarters of a gym at a Framingham middle school gym for a Coakley stump the night before polls opened. And as voting began Tuesday, her support had eroded like a beach beaten down by a hurricane. The sands beneath her feet hadn’t just shifted. They’d been swept away to a different continent.

That still didn’t stop her supporters from breaking Massachusetts election laws, like posting campaign signs near polls and handing out blank absentee ballots after the deadline for filing them had passed. In the meantime, out-of-state union thugs threw in their own weight, by bullying reporters, so threatened by a shaky video camera they resorted to the ultimate admission of having fucking lost their minds — calling them “nazis.”

Beautifully, even the Boston Globe chipped in, reporting a Coakley win – 8 hours before polls closed.

But when it was all said and done, Brown stood victorious.

Despite the ridiculous promise from the Wicked Witch of Congress that “one way or another” a bill will end up on the pResident’s desk, Brown’s victory assures that, as even the gweat degenerate cocksman Bawney Fwank declared, healthcare deform, the single most important issue that will define Zero’s pResidency and the only campaign promise he came remotely close to fulfilling, is dead.

Oh, you’ll hear talk for weeks now about whether or not the Senate will delay seating Brown or the House will cave and pass the Senate healthcare deform bill, but even now support for the awful legislation is slipping among some House Congresscriminals — if you can believe them. You have to wonder how Joe Lieberman and Ben Nelson would vote today, knowing what they know now.

Make no mistake: This is a referendum on, and the beginning of the end for, the Wicked Witch of Congress and Dirty Harry and, most importantly, Zero, the worst president in modern history. The Zombiecrats can hide beneath their veil of incredulity at the loss and spit fire while secretly licking their wounds, but the fact is: They’ve had control of all three legislative branches of government for a year … and haven’t accomplished shit.

They’ve brought this all on themselves. They’ll have to live with their own stupidity. They can’t pin this one on Bush.

This day now presents Republicans with a chance to build momentum into elections in November 2010 and November 2012. From this day forth, Republicans must create a cohesive and comprehensive plan for America, stick to it, and, for God’s sake, not screw this up.

It’s the Republicans’ last chance to take this country back and do something they should have done long ago — roll back all of the moonbat socialism that’s slowly enveloped our Constitution and freedoms like a boa constrictor with a cat’s playful cruelty.

And if they fuck this up, you can bet your sweet ass the earth will shudder to one last halt, as a tide of anger rises from an American people who’ve had quite enough incompetency from the District of Criminals … forever.

Cross-posted at


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