It's Time to Burn My Beatles Records

And, yes, I do have some of the actual records, vintage ones too.

Screw 'em. Opining today that the Gulf oil disaster is the perfect crisis with which to force cleaner, renewable, and un-Godly expensive and cost-ineffective sources of energy down our throats, Paul McCartney could have stopped there.

But he didn't:

"Sadly we need disasters like this to show people," McCartney said in an exclusive interview with The Sun. "Some people don't believe in climate warning -- like those who don't believe there was a Holocaust."

McCartney continued, "But the facts indicate that there's something going on and we've got to be aware of it if we want our kids to inherit a decent world, not a complete nightmare of a planet -- clean, renewable energy is for starters."

No, Paul. I just don't believe in Beatles.

H/T: NoisyRoom.net

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It's Time to Burn My Beatles Records

Photos of Fat Al Gore's New Palatial Palace

Al recently cashed in some carbon credits ... and went on a Mediterranean-style diet, gobbling up a $9 gazillion Montecito-area property. Rumor has it he may help offset the economic crisis in Greece, too ... by purchasing all of ancient Athens.

Here's what reducing your carbon footprint could look like, if you were funded by Marxist revolutionaries and bought an ocean-view villa on 1.5 acres with a swimming pool, spa and fountains, six fireplaces, five bedrooms, and nine bathrooms.

Conspicuously absent from the swimming pool are Al's pet polar bears.

More photos at Doug Ross @ Journal.

UPDATE: Yeah, "palatial palace" is redundant ... on purpose, in honor of Al's superfluity.

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Photos of Fat Al Gore's New Palatial Palace

It's Earth Day! Where's Al Gore?

Sources are uncertain of his whereabouts.

Some say he may be stuck on an ice floe with a polar bear. Or he may have taken up residence in an igloo. Truth is, he has been known to sneak away from it all, to sample an odoriferous whiff of cow farts. And there's a persistent rumor he's recently developed an interest in inducing a volcano in Knoxville because they burn cleaner than jet fuel.

Meanwhile, some say he and Michael Mann may have been seen taking turns pleasuring themselves with Mann's hockey stick while watching a personal copy of the Hide the Decline video Mann had pulled yesterday from YouTube:

6 Video no longer available. Check and mate, crackers.

Posted by: Michael Mann at April 21, 2010 10:46 AM (muUqs)

Or maybe he's just hiding in an office somewhere, surfing his innerwebz and reading about all the cash he stands to make from the sale of carbon credits. One thing is certain, he's probably not following those who, terrified by his lies, have taken a hysterical leap into the great abyss.

So, in honor of Al Whore, let's revisit what will from this day forth be known as my annual Earth Day post, and perpetuate the truth of ...

Al Gore’s Mammoth Contribution to "Global Warming"

An aerial view of Al Whore's carbon-spewing home.

Re-posted from April 24, 2009.

It’s only fitting that today, just two days after Earth Day (and Lenin's birthday), when former Vice President Al Gore testified before Congress in hearings on a “climate change” bill shamelessly purporting to curb greenhouse gasses but really disguising (that is, to most American sheeple) “cap and trade” taxation of your energy consumption, we should remember who lives in a glass house.

Or rather, a big-honkin’ carbon-spewing global-warming behemoth from which only Mr. Whore can toss erroneous truths while ignoring his own. This is not a new story, but it’s an important one, and needs retelling…again and again and again.

Remember the 2007 email going around?

LOOK OVER THE DESCRIPTIONS OF THE FOLLOWING TWO HOUSES AND SEE IF YOU CAN TELL WHICH BELONGS TO AN ENVIRONMENTALIST.

HOUSE #1:

A 20-room mansion (not including 8 bathrooms) heated by natural gas. Add on a pool (and a pool house) and a separate guest house all heated by gas. In ONE MONTH ALONE this mansion consumes more energy than the average American household in an ENTIRE YEAR. The average bill for electricity and natural gas runs over $2,400 per month. In natural gas alone (which last time we checked was a fossil fuel), this property consumes more than 20 times the national average for an American home. This house is not in a northern or Midwestern “snow belt,” either. It’s in the South.

HOUSE #2:

Designed by an architect professor at a leading national university, this house incorporates every “green” feature current home construction can provide. The house contains only 4,000 square feet (4 bedrooms) and is nestled on arid high prairie in the American southwest. A central closet in the house holds geothermal heat pumps drawing ground water through pipes sunk 300 feet into the ground. The water (usually 67 degress F) heats the house in winter and cools it in summer. The system uses no fossil fuels such as oil or natural gas, and it consumes 25% of the electricity required for a conventional heating/cooling system. Rainwater from the roof is collected and funneled into a 25,000 gallon underground cistern. Wastewater from showers, sinks, and toilets goes into underground purifying tanks and then into the cistern. The collected water then irrigates the land surrounding the house. Flowers and shrubs native to the are blend the property into surrounding rural landscape.

House #1, located outside of Nashville, Tennessee, is Gore’s.

House #2, on a ranch near Crawford, Texas, was W’s. (The Bushes have since moved to Dallas.)

Let’s just remember, then, as the Whoremeister himself claims, that people with large carbon footprints like his own are fouling our atmosphere with filth, trapping the sun’s blistering rays, melting the fragile polar ice caps, raising the treacherous seas, triggering irreversible damage to the ecosystem, and hurtling our endangered planet toward an environmental Armageddon that (his own website claims) one in three children fear is inevitable.

Then, let’s look at what happened after Gore’s ridiculous truth got out, thanks to a June 2008 report from the Tennessee Center for Policy Research:

In the year since Al Gore took steps to make his home more energy-efficient, the former Vice President’s home energy use surged more than 10%, according to the Tennessee Center for Policy Research.

“A man’s commitment to his beliefs is best measured by what he does behind the closed doors of his own home,” said Drew Johnson, President of the Tennessee Center for Policy Research. “Al Gore is a hypocrite and a fraud when it comes to his commitment to the environment, judging by his home energy consumption.”

In the past year, Gore’s home burned through 213,210 kilowatt-hours (kWh) of electricity, enough to power 232 average American households for a month.

In February 2007, An Inconvenient Truth, a film based on a climate change speech developed by Gore, won an Academy Award for best documentary feature. The next day, the Tennessee Center for Policy Research uncovered that Gore’s Nashville home guzzled 20 times more electricity than the average American household.

Today, meanwhile, Gore implored Congressional members of the Energy and Commerce Committee to pass the “American Clean Energy and Security Act,” a Waxman-Markey bill:

Passage of this legislation will restore America's leadership of the world and begin, at long last, to solve the climate crisis.... It is truly a moral imperative.

And from the WSJ:

I believe this legislation has the moral significance equivalent to that of the civil rights legislation of the 1960’s and the Marshall Plan of the late 1940’s.

Amazingly, no one at the hearing burst out laughing from the sheer ridiculousness of his statement. Oh...and just to make it even more hilarious, Democrats didn’t allow balance in today’s testimony.

Want to know what's REALLY funny, though?

During last month’s “Earth Hour,” when people the world over turned their lights off for an hour to conserve energy, Mr. Whore’s house was lit up like the sun.

It appears his hypocrisy knows no bounds. The man's carbon footprint is so big it's a wonder the city of Nashville hasn't declared his mansion a third-world country (for all we know, it might resemble one inside). Yet, it's a moral imperative that the federal government tax you and me into oblivion so that we use less energy and raise more federal revenue.

So...I think I'll go out and burn off a few tankfuls of regular unleaded (you know, with all the impurities) this weekend in my F-150, leave the big-screen TV and all the house lights on, and see if I can spew smoke from a few cigars into the atmosphere.

In honor of the Whoremeister, of course.

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It's Earth Day! Where's Al Gore?

Obama Heads to Gropenhagen for the "Free Sex"

Excuse me while I move some files from the Word Press site over here so I can delete that thing forever. If you didn't see this before, now's your chance!

Previously published 12/7/2009

WASHINGTON – Air Force One took off today ahead of an early arctic blast bound for Gropenhagen, site of the troubled conference on climate change.

But pResident Barack Obama isn’t making an appearance to, as some in the media have suggested, save the world from global warming as he’s saved the world from capitalist racist war-mongering America.

“The pResident is really just going over for the free sex,” according to Red House spokesman Robert Ahhhhhhh Gibbs.

Dogged by accusations of data fraud, mired by the cancellation of a planned speech by global warming alarmist Al Whore, reduced to a meeting to plan for the next international meeting on climate change, the climate conference had the potential to be a stage for Obama to heal the world, just as he’s healed the American economy.

But Gibbs said all that talk of potential had nothing to do with Obama’s need to visit Gropenhagen, since the administration has already ordered the Environmental Protection Agency to round up all Conservatives and Libertarians and tie plastic bags over their heads in order to curb greenhouse gases.

A PhotoChop by Jamie

“Who needs an international climate treaty now?” said Gibbs. “We know the globe is cooling. Who cares about facts? Besides, what’s really cooling is the presidential couple’s bedroom, and the pResident just felt it was best to take up the offer by Gropenhagen’s prostitutes of free sex for climate conference attendees.”

Despite this recent publicity shot for Thief Quarterly, Obama is not known as a ladies man, so the statements by Gibbs come as relatively shocking.

Obama, an obvious metrosexual, has never been known to be a womanizer. In fact, all queries into his past relationships with women … any women at all … have come up, strangely, empty. All except for his marriage to Michelle Obama.

Making matters worse were eye-witness accounts reporting that Obama walked onto Air Force One holding hands with unsafe schools/fisting czar Kevin Jennings.

In fact, a recent photograph of the Worst Family has fueled wild speculation that Mrs. Obama may not even be a woman at all.

Via The Big Feed

Finally, noted gay gossip columnist Perez Hilton, when asked to shed light on speculation about the pResident’s sexual orientation, since Gropehagen is also known for it’s gay Twink Light district, was uncharacteristically quiet, instead walking away from this reporter, singing under his breath: “Mmmm mmmm mmmm.”

All of which begs the question: “Is Barack Obama gay?”

Meanwhile, in other climate news, a new explanation of the so-called “hockey stick effect” was unveiled today:

Via S. Weasel

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Obama Heads to Gropenhagen for the "Free Sex"

Obama's Brain Is Stooopid

Back during the campaign, the Community Organizer in Chief told us only the evil rich people would get tax increases: "Under my plan, no family making less than $250,000 a year will see any form of tax increase. Not your income tax, not your payroll tax, not your capital gains taxes, not any of your taxes."

Naturally, right after taking office, he raised taxes on all the sinful people who smoke, most of them earning less than $250,000.

Via NY Slimes

Now, to meet his cap and slave targets for the "pollutant" we exhale, we'll be taxed to drive our cars:

To meet the Obama administration’s targets for cutting greenhouse gas emissions, some researchers say, Americans may have to experience a sobering reality: gas at $7 a gallon.

To reduce carbon dioxide emissions in the transportation sector 14 percent from 2005 levels by 2020, the cost of driving must simply increase, according to a forthcoming report by researchers at Harvard’s Belfer Center for Science and International Affairs.

Captain Ahab supposedly is all about jobs, jobs, jobs, but you know damn well his pursuit of Moby Dick (health care) and the Jolly Green Apparition (global warming) is just a deliberate attempt to ruin this economy, and this country, forever.

He must think we're so stooopid we won't get it.

The reality is, the only thing that's stooopid is his brain.

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Obama's Brain Is Stooopid

UPDATE: Suicides for Al Gore

First he skitters from his roach cave to resurface yesterday. Now this. Add another line to the list of Al Gore's crimes: accessory to murder/suicide.

A seven-month-old baby girl survived three days alone with a bullet in her chest beside the bodies of her parents and toddler brother.

Argentines Francisco Lotero, 56, and Miriam Coletti, 23, shot their children before killing themselves after making an apparent suicide pact over fears about global warming.

Their son Francisco, two, died instantly after being hit in the back.

But their unnamed daughter cheated death after the bullet from her dad's handgun missed her vital organs.

Paramedics rushed her to hospital covered in blood when police alerted by worried neighbours discovered the massacre three days later.

The youngster is recovering in hospital in the town of Goya in the northern Argentine province of Corrientes, where doctors say she is out of danger.

Her parents said they feared the effects of global warming in a suicide note discovered by police

UPDATE: This won't absolve Gore of his complicity in the above murders, but it will allow you to leave this sickening post on a lighter note: Gore's name in Latin means "to cool".

How ironic.

via Weasel Zippers

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UPDATE: Suicides for Al Gore

UPDATE: (Now With The Music Video!) Barack Obama: "We Can't Control Nature"

Take it to the bank. Obama admits "global warming" is a hoax. What will he say next, that doctors know more about health care than he does?

h/t: Weasel Zippers

UPDATE: And, now, the music video! Via iOwnTheWorld

UPDATE II: Wow! Al Gore surfaces; it seems "global warming" lives!

It would be an enormous relief if the recent attacks on the science of global warming actually indicated that we do not face an unimaginable calamity requiring large-scale, preventive measures to protect human civilization as we know it.

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UPDATE: (Now With The Music Video!) Barack Obama: "We Can't Control Nature"

I Didn't Need Phil Jones to Come Clean

Yeah, I know I'm late on this, but I don't care. Half the conservative blogosphere is at CPAC. I can re-spin their old stories any damned way I please. Especially since one of the kids stole my office chair and I have to kneel to type.

So ... here goes ...

In the simplest way possible, I didn't need Phil Jones to come clean and tell me the planet hasn't warmed since 1995 and that climate change was a lie. I built Global Warming Man on Friday ... in fucking Atlanta.


I built a clone for my daughter. Then my ingenious and industrious daughter built a second clone ... the next day ... a full 24 hours later, which means the meager three inches of global warming we received (as compared to the 30-plus inches that my in-laws in Pittsburgh experienced during two storms, enough to freeze their gutters and cause melt off from their roof to force its way into their walls, enough to take out their kitchen and their bathroom and their dining room and their basement, to the meager expense of 15 gs) stuck around until Sunday.

Sunday. (Incidentally, my father-in-law is so concerned about his house -- the one he was going to put up for sale yesterday so he could move to Florida -- being destroyed by Phil Jones' lie that he just interrupted this post with a phone call to ask if I had noticed Vanna White's "extreme" weight loss over the past six months. Shocking. I'm going to have to turn on that TV I own one of these days.)

For two days snow stuck around in "Hotlanta" like it was a party crasher who wouldn't go home, in Hotlanta where "snow" is about as obscure a word as "Democrat," unless, of course you live in Fulton County, where the city proper lies ... where it lies an awful lot, actually.

Thankfully, I live north, where the wild coyote/dogs roam (seriously, I heard them run along the top of the hill last night while I brought wood in for the fireplace because, I'm such a man, and all I could think was, DO THEY KNOW THAT GLOBAL WARMING IS GOING TO KILL THEM?!?!).

Okay. That's enough for now. It's "Mardi Gras Night" here at the ADHD household. I have King Cake to eat, after some scrumptious gumbo that Wild Thing #1 and #2 hated. Fuckin' A. That's more for me later (since tomorrow, being Ash Wednesday, is a no-meat day) because, you know, this Damn Yankee is quite ashamed to have been reared in a Northern ugly backwards blue state, where parents (not mine) pride themselves on bringing their children up stupid.

Good thing there are still red states to flee to.

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I Didn't Need Phil Jones to Come Clean

Good Dog

Posted on behalf of Jamie:

At least someone in the White House has a good idea...

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Good Dog

UPDATE: Al Gore's New Home

With all the global warming burying the District of Criminals, what's there to do? Build monuments to Al Gore. And that's just what Republican Senator Jim Inhofe's family did: They built this 6-foot-tall igloo on Capitol Hill.

So THAT'S where Al Gore is.



UPDATE: Doug Powers awesomely tweets us!


UPDATE II: Keith Olbermann doubles down and strikes the fuck out. Earth to fucking Olberfuckhead: It's NOT supposed to get COLDER in DC and it's NOT supposed to get COLDER in San Diego and we're NOT supposed to get snow on Feb. 12 in Atlanta (just to be sure, check the snow tracking on this storm headed from, Dallas, which is south of Atlanta and where they just got 4 - 6 inches of snow, that's bearing down on me right now ... and my goshdarn snow boots are ready, bro). I just wanted to make sure your dimwitted ass understands that.

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UPDATE: Al Gore's New Home

New Products From Gore Technologies!

In a statement issued from his new estate in southern France, Chateau d'Gorcicle, climate genius Al Gore has revealed new directives in his battle to combat mankind's greatest enemy -- Global Warming.

These directives propose a revolutionary change to the way the world will manufacture leisure products, taking advantage of global warming trends without increasing mankind's carbon footprint...

HOT TUBS AND JACUZZIS

" Whew! Honey! More iced tea please! I'm roasting in here!"

That's what you'll be saying to your spouse as she lovingly hands you another cold, frosty glass of your favorite beverage while you relax in your new Gore Technologies™ carbon neutral jacuzzi! Global rising temperatures will bake your cares away without wasting a single kilowatt!

Nothing beats the heat as you unwind from a hard day at work!

And who knows? Maybe the little lady will join you for a relaxing dip once the kids are in bed! Oh you naughty guys! But don't worry, we won't be able to see a thing, and you won't want to escape from your jacuzzi after just a few minutes!

LAWN FURNITURE

Imagine this: you are on your patio, basking in the sun on your brand new lawn furniture. Your neighbor will be "green" with envy as you enjoy a refreshing beverage on your eco-friendly chaise lounge fashioned by Mother Gaia herself! You'll love your Gore Technologies™ lawn furniture so much, you'll find it almost impossible to pry yourself loose!

BILLARD AND POOL TABLES

Hard bank shot got you worried? Game on the line? No Sweat! You'll be cool as a c-c-c-cucumber showing off your stuff on this Global Warming inspired creation from Gore Technologies™! The carbon neutral pool table! Rack 'em up!

Stay with us as the genius of Al Gore brings the world new innovations for a carbon neutral lifestyle!

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New Products From Gore Technologies!

Special Edition Toyota Prius

Oh, this is just too funny NOT to repost, from The Lakelander (via G.O.T.). It makes me want to run right out and ... buy a big fat gas-guzzling hog of a Ford pickup (well, bigger than the one I drive now, anyway).

So the broke-ass brake-less Prius' can bounce right off me.

Be honest.

It's what we're all thinking about the tree huggers' favourite vehicle and the tree huggers who drive them, ever since it was revealed just how easy it is to wrap one round a tree.

The Toyota Prius "Not So Bloody Smug Now" Special Edition.

Coming to a brick wall near you soon.

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Special Edition Toyota Prius

Piss on Anthropogenic Global Warming

Greenie whackos who run around claiming the sky is falling, there's too much carbon dioxide, and global warming is going to consume the world aren't really Chicken Little.

They're Chicken Fucking Dumb.

Humans couldn't possibly destroy Mother Nature; she's far more powerful than we are.

That's why I haven't been around lately. That bi-atch dropped 16 inches of rain around my house over 7 days, 5 inches alone yesterday. Starting Sunday, little rivers literally flowed through my basement. I shop vacuumed. I broomed. I remained vigilant, refusing to sleep Sunday night. I even went out in the driveway and lifted my head to the sky and screamed expletives you normally wouldn't see in this place -- well, unless you were a moonbat troll -- and still it came down, filling my mouth like some kind of natural waterboarding.

During one period of heavy downpours yesterday, I literally emptied the 5-gal shop vac once every minute or two for three hours.

And still the rivers flowed, until finally they took out the carpeted family room, and we decided to quit our foolish attempt at trying to save the homestead and instead tried to save our stuff.

This is America, after all; stuff is more important than anything.

So to you AGW freaks, I say, Mother Earth is doing just fine, and she'll continue to be fine long after we're gone because she'll probably be the one to do away with us all -- and the bitch will enjoy every minute of it.

P.S. Hey, Anonymous. It IS Anthropogenic. If you have such trouble with big words that you've convinced yourself to hound others to use the wrong one, you're not bright enough to hang around this place.

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Piss on Anthropogenic Global Warming

REPOST: Car WHORES...Episode IV: A New Dope

Vacation is a bitch, day 2. Live with the reincarnation of this, willya?

In a galaxy all too present, all too friggin’ near…

President b. Hussein: My dear friends. Today, the United States of America turns a new page in the fight against Anthropogenic Global Warming. We stand on the precipice of either moving forward toward curbing fictional deadly greenhouse gases, the mere mention of which lines the pockets of great patriots such as Al Gore and George Soros and myself with triple-laundered twenties and fifties, or plummeting into great impending planetary doom (which would lead anyone in his right mind who takes 10 minutes to do some research to conclude: Hmm…those AGW freaks are nuts). HOWEVER! Thankfully, few of you doubt the Deity and most embrace The Inconvenient Truth and the taxation of your energy consumption because you don’t have enough common sense to question authority…when the authority represents your beloved, America-loving Democratic Party!

The press expresses its feelings.


As President of Government Motors, it is my duty, neigh, my sacred oath, to proclaim unto you that automobiles in this country shall, by the year 2016, ON AVERAGE, gain more miles for every gallon of gas (which by then, the CBO estimates, should cost about $472.99 per gallon) than ever before.


More press reaction.


[Thinks: This is WAY too easy.]


These are, indeed, difficult times that must be met with the strength of difficult people, as they used to call us before we ate from the forbidden fruit (and became regular, run-of-the-mill Zombiecrats). It is, therefore, with great pleasure, that I say unto you that vehicles made in America will gain an average of 400 mpg by the year 2016 (when I’m raking in a hell of a lot more per speech then Bill Clinton every dreamed of getting). It is time that America leads, instead of letting trees fall on our SUVs during violent, AGW-caused storms that we have never before seen (since we refuse to look up climate fluctuation data any older than, say, 1981).


It is time that American ingenuity and know-how puts us back at the forefront of automotive technology.


It is time that we get back to our roots and create streamlined and fuel-efficient marvels of engineering that benefit Our Lady Mother Earth without sacrificing style.


Yet, all the while, as we seek to cut back on the ability of a vehicle to travel beyond your driveway, as we raise taxes so incredibly high you will think Jimmy Carter should be immortalized on Mt. Rushmore, we will NOT skimp on safety to achieve our goals.


Gibbsy. GIBBSY! (Whispers: next slide….NEXT! AHEM!) As I was saying, we will make the future the present, by creating cars as dependable as Nancy Pelosi’s daily Botox treatments. Therefore, in addition to mandatory fuel mileage requirements, we will also increase maximum payloads that will bring about more carpooling and reduce traffic on our national highways, thereby improving everyone’s rush-hour commute.


We will achieve these goals by taxing each new vehicle by 4,000 percent of the purchase price, the overage directly payable to the U.S. Senate, for the upkeep of Social Security, Medicare, National Health Care, and free access to Meet the Depressed each Sunday and 24-hour broadcasts of NPR while those of us not fortunate enough to be Democrats wait on soup or bread lines (never both!) for daily rations. This foresight, by the government, for the people, dictated to the people, will put the future of the United States in our own glorious hands.


Final response from the press.

[SUCKAS!]


The president, reveling in his success, sneaks off to a back room in the White House to end another evening with a precious moment all to himself.

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REPOST: Car WHORES...Episode IV: A New Dope

White House Announces New Pencil-pushing Standards

WASHINGTON -- Aiming to keep the focus on creating out-of-control bureaucracy, President Barack Obama put a plug in for administration efforts to make pencil-pushing more overwhelming while using less energy.

"I know pencil-pushing may not seem sexy, but this simple action holds enormous promise because 97 percent of our future economy in America depends on having the most efficient bureaucratic tools as we take over more businesses and create more government offices," the president said, standing alongside Energy Secretary Steven Chu at the White House.

Obama said the new efficiency standards he was announcing for pencil- pushing would result in substantial savings between 2012 and 2042, saving taxpayers up to $22.17 annually, conserving enough energy to power every U.S. agency for 10 seconds, reducing emissions equal to the amount produced by 166 cows a year, and putting every single coal-fired power plant out of business.

The president also said he was speeding the delivery of $346 million in economic stimulus money to help hire more bureaucrats to run the Wicked Witch of Congress’ cap and trade energy bureau and to help write new and even more confusing amendments that can be dropped into any House legislation at 3:09 a.m. on any given morning before a crucial vote.

Republicans took issue with Obama's pitch.

"This guy’s a friggin’ menace. Clearly his goal is to keep the public’s mind on ‘energy’ while he creates the biggest government this country’s ever known," said Senate Republican Leader Mitch McConnell of Kentucky. "We have to admit there's a gap between this guy’s big floppy ears, government spending that can sustain itself, and the amount of bureaucrats we need."

The White House added the event to the president's schedule at the last minute, just three days after the House narrowly approved the first “pile of shit” energy legislation billed as curbing global warming that actually taxes future consumer energy consumption by as much as a gazillion percent, following furious lobbying by White House advisers and the usual personal extortion by the president himself.

White House spokesman Robert “Ahhhhh” Gibbs said Monday that in phone calls to reluctant Democrats in endangered districts, Obama "threatened to cut them off at the knee caps and drop them into Lake Michigan if they didn’t explain to their constituents and to the American public any load of crap necessary to get this bill through the House."

The measure's fate is less certain in the Senate, where Democrats lack the 60 votes needed to block a certain filibuster and will likely face a public duel at 40 paces on the Senate floor with Global Warming denier (and one of the few sane people in Washington at this moment, if those words strung together even make sense) James Inhofe (R-Okla).

Still, in an interview with a small group of reporters, Obama energy adviser Carol Browner said: "I am confident that this unreadable (and….HAHAHAHAHA…unread by the House, I might add!) legislation will pass the Senate." But she repeatedly refused to say exactly when the White House expected the Senate to pass the measure (when the polar caps melt, perhaps?), and she wouldn't speculate on whether Obama would have legislation sent to his desk by year's end.

The White House is working to keep energy in the spotlight even as Congress takes a break this week for some little holiday that, to them, is all about barbequing and blowing your hand off with M-80s and getting a free day off every year for nothing. Obama has spent the past few days pressuring the Senate to follow the House or he’ll kidnap them and set them free unarmed in his Chicago neighborhood to see if they can survive.

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White House Announces New Pencil-pushing Standards

8 Republican Assholes Who Helped Cap and Trade Pass the House

Courtesy of tophat9000 at free.republic.com

Once there were 8 RINOs in the House of Representatives who wanted to tax you even more than you already are in the name of some fictional assholery called "Global Warming," a scheme that was hatched (by snakes) for nothing more than to transfer enormous parts of your freedom and wealth to that great frontier of trustworthiness and piety and "your best interest" -- good ole Washington, D.C.

They wanted to force your electric bill to go up.

They wanted to force you to pay more for your vehicles and the fuels you put in them.

They wanted you to pay more for your jacuzzi and your microwave and your hairdryer and Grandma Jane's trusty air conditioner for the enclosed patio.

Today they were the difference between cap and tax getting stuck in the wax between Henry "The Thing" Waxman's ample ears and you getting to pay more for the crap you buy...not to mention more of it that will be made overseas....because who the hell wants to do business in a country that taxes them to death?

FINAL VOTE: 219 - 212 PASSES (click for source)

Their names were:

• Mary Bono-Mack, Cauli-for-nia (Land of the Loons)
• Mike Castle, Delaware (Home of Joey "Budweiser" Biden)
• John M. McHugh, NY (The Liberal State)
• Dave Reichert, Washington (The Other Liberal State)
• Chris Smith, NJ (Where Republicans are Democrats too!)
• Leonard Lance, NJ (See above)
• Frank LoBiondo, NJ (See above)
• Mark Kirk, Ill (Barack Obama Land!)

And even though this bill still has to go through the Senate, I think you should help me give all of these fine 8 traitors a friendly "Fuck You," don't you?

UPDATE: Direct link to who voted what.

UPDATE II: Though a fake, this photo is very instructive, no?


UPDATE III: THANKS ANN!

UPDATE IV: You can find a great roundup of what others have said at the bottom of this post over at Michelle Malkin's place.

UPDATE V: James Inhofe says that foul stench you're about to smell wafting from D.C. is cap and tax dying in the Senate.

UPDATE VI: I find it VERY interesting that on Monday, June 29, 2009, between 9:10 - 10:15 a.m. EST I had the following hits from:

• pentagon.mil, 4 page views, 3:04 duration
  
• house.gov,1 page view, 1:44 duration
• treas.gov, 5 page views, 6:26 duration
• senate.gov, 2 page views, 4:21
• usdoj.gov, 1 page view, 0:00 duration (sitemeter didn't track the hit)
• sandia.gov (Sandia National Laboratories), 4 page views, 6:38 duration

Unfortunately I'm having a few technical difficulties getting a screen grab from my sitemeter, but: Hey gubmint...if you're watching me, I'm watching you back!

(Slipping on my tinfoil hat now....)

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8 Republican Assholes Who Helped Cap and Trade Pass the House