ElRushbo Gives Me Townhall Protest Marching Orders

Source: Soylent Green

Originally posted August 2009.

I was just about finished polishing the last of my 7,001 gold bars, doing what rich white racist community organizers do when shamelessly hording our money from the IRS to fund secretive political missions from K Street, when the phone rang.

“Dr. Dave, I presume?”

“Yep,” I said into the Bluetooth headset the Republican National Committee bought me last fall during the infamous “Barack Obama Is a Kenyan” rallies, aimlessly rubbing circles over the gleaming gold bar in my hand.

“This izzzz Elllll-Russsshhhbo.”

“Hey, there Mahatma. Been reported to the White House today?”

“Dr. Dave, I’m sure Rahmbo records streaming audio of my voice every day; there’s no need for anyone to report me.”

“Good point. What can I do for ya?” I set down the gold bar and picked up a swastika arm band. I had a feeling it was going to come in handy.

“Glad you asked, Dr. Dave. I have some marching orders for you.”

I knew it, I thought. I’d been so bored of late, having been mundanely blogging thousands of words about the details of the president’s energy and health care policy and helping to bring down his popularity. I had a pretty good feeling that “marching orders” meant there was opportunity to be had in crisis. I was not disappointed.

“It’s time to load up the busses and haul in the grannies and granddads from all over the country. We’ve got to hit these Townhall meetings with force.”

Secretly inside I felt like a kid, as if I were again wiggling in delight over dropping a squirming frog down the front of Miss Wilson’s blouse and watching my third-grade teacher scream in revulsion, as she tore off her shirt to keep the frog from crawling into her bra, revealing what I figured at the time to be the greatest thing any 8-year-old had ever seen.

“No Brooks Brothers crowd, Rush? No seersucker suits and Bulova watches? You want straw hat and pitchfork types, right?” I said, trying to shake off the memory of my first community disruption to focus on the task in front of us.

“Righto, Dr. Dave. We need angry mobs.” I could hear the giddiness in his voice. He was reveling in the president’s Waterloo moment. He wanted this president to fail. “Make sure you round up lots of Libertarians and independents and pissed off Democrats, just to make it look good. We want to achieve deception here. We’ve got to make it look like the majority of Americans don’t want this health care business. We’ve got to make it look like people have just had enough.”

“Yes, Godfather,” I said.

And Rush went on, making it clear that his and Sean Hannity’s and Michael Steele’s and John Boehner’s and Mitch McConnell’s names were never to be associated with such shenanigans.

As he wrapped up, the doorbell rang.

RIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGG!

Explosions erupted inside the house. The dog, barking 40 times a second, came racing down the hall, the sound of her claws scraping the floor growing louder and louder as she approached. My kids, emitting high-pitched screeches, ran like banshees right beside the dog, the cacophony so loud I could barely hear Rush saying “What the…..What IZZZ that racket?”

I opened the door to find the FedEx man standing outside, holding an envelope. The two children dashed out to greet him, one coming from each side of me, the dog barreling out between my legs, almost knocking me over. In fear, the FedEx man flung the envelope at me and dashed down the steps.

I caught the envelope on my chest and fell back against the open door, balancing on one leg while using my other foot to hook the dog under her throat, to keep her from chasing the poor guy.

“What the hell is going on?” Rush said in my ear, clearly not happy.

“Sorry, Rush.” I made sure everyone was back in the house and took the Bluetooth off my ear for a second and screamed, knowing full well Rush could still hear me but at least I wouldn’t be ruining his cochlear implants. “KIDS!!! I’m trying to plan something here on the phone. Will you SHUT UP?”

My question was immediately ignored.

“What, Daddy? What? What? What are you planning?” my 8-year-old said, hopping up and down with the unabashed glee I recognized in myself the day I disrupted Miss Wilson’s classroom.

“Yeah, Daddy. What? What? What?” said my youngest.

“An angry mob. Now give me just a minute.” I put the headset back on and opened the envelope and took out a check. “WOW, Rush. Just a million this time?”

“Yes, Dr. Dave. It’s a tough economy, but we know you will use it wisely.”

“Sure, Rush. Heck, with the Cash for Clunkers discount, we might be able to use the money to buy a couple thousand Toyata Priuses and have the rabble rousers show up at the Townhall meetings disguised as anthropogenic global warming believers.”

“Good thinking, Dr. Dave.”

“Are you going to make fun of the president,” my youngest asked, adding: “Rock Obama! I don’t like him!”

“Me neither,” the 8-year-old chimed in. “Barack Obama: KING OF THE MOONBATS! Hey, Dad. Can we come too? We’ll have Mommy paint swastikas on our cheeks!”

“Dr. Dave,” Rush said, having listened to my family dynamic all along, “you’ve been raising them right. I think your angry mobs are going to be wildly successful.”

*

ElRushbo Gives Me Townhall Protest Marching Orders

Nurse Wretched

Via The Truth Will Set You Free

Nurse Wretched: If Mr. Tea-bagger doesn't want to take his medication orally, I'm sure we can arrange that he can have it some other way.

McMurphy: And they say, the Republicans have no health care plan. I hope you know there's nothing in the Constitution giving you the authority for yours.

Nurse Wretched: Are you serious? Are you serious?

McMurphy: I'm a goddamn marvel of modern politics, I'm so serious.

P.S. I wonder if Nurse Wretched could hear the screams of "KILL THE BILL" from her office window today:

Via Twitpic

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Nurse Wretched

Abandon All Hope and ... Obama Will Disappear

Not reallllly, but, according to this...

It's often better to just resign yourself to how awful things are rather than raging against your situation and hoping desperately that it will get better. [via Obnoxio the Clown]

Gee. If we'd done that, Van Jones would still be saying we're all assholes on behalf of The Joker and Doug Hoffman wouldn't be getting most of Scuzzyface's votes this evening and voting on the Senate wealth share bill wouldn't be slipping into December.

Why, according to the Happily Hopeless study, I should just abandon the "dark side of hope."

I'll tell you what, I've seen the happily hapless side of hope:

Missourah.com

...and I'm all for the dark side, if it means real change is coming in the polls tonight and 2010.

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Abandon All Hope and ... Obama Will Disappear

Full Text of Pelosi's Healthcare Bill

It's only 1,990 bloody pages, costs a meager $1 trillion, and turns all old people into Soylent Green upon passage! Sounds like another outstanding bill to pass from the anus of the Land of Misfit Representatives, who are completely unaware that everyone outside Beltway wants to lobotomize them.

Happy reading (see below widget).

P.S. Here's a delicious little nugget I found over at Nice Deb's place. She notes The Washington Times reports:

Democrats repeatedly touted the openness of the development of their health care bill, which House Majority Leader Steny Hoyer called “the most deliberative, transparent and open process” he had seen in his career on Capitol Hill.

HA! Not according to Rep. Michele Bachmann (R-Minn):

To the contrary, Democrats have shut Republicans out of all discussions on drafting the health care bill. In fact, the Democrats are being so hyper-partisan that they’ve physically locked Republican members out of a committee room. So much for the era of post-partisanship that the President and Speaker Pelosi promised.

Hoyer's big fat gaseous emission gets him my Liar of the Day award, the prize being a single digit salute from both of my hands ... made northward ... in the direction of the District of Criminals ... from my secret racist mobster tea-bagging man cave.

In fact, they might as well go ahead and rename Congress The Hall of Chronic and Habitual Liars. I haven't heard one that good since ... the president told the world on national TV that illegals won't get Obamacare, and Joe Wilson called him on it.

P.P.S. For the disgust you're bound to feel after reading this thing, I've prescribed a little diversion at the bottom of the post, a reward as it were for having waded through a huge pile of shit.

House HCR Bill

Via Patriot Room

P.P.P.S. Go read this important post by Jim McMahon about next Tuesday's elections. And if you live in NY-23, VOTE DOUG HOFFMAN.

P.P.P.P.S. Pelosi's legislative ghosts are coming in, but they're not going out...




Via The Weekly Standard and Ed Driscoll

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Full Text of Pelosi's Healthcare Bill

My Health Care Solution? Kill All the Lawyers, Pass Tort Reform, and Open the Insurance Borders

In which I use gmail to educate a liberal friend, and, in the meantime, cure the health care “crisis” …

October 18:
We don't need the system "overhauled," for chrissake. Do your homework. That's a code word straight from Obugger himself. Obugger is nothing more than a snake oil salesman selling you poison. Shame on you.

There are only about 12 million people who are uninsured. Look it up. Obama's figures are whacked...because he's a fucking liar, and Joe Wilson is awesome for saying it. I see that fuck, I'm screaming it until my vocal chords are gone. (And fuck the illegals...I'm not paying for them ... get them the fuck out of my country.)

I have never seen such an assault on the individual in my 42 years. We stand on a precipice. We move left while Cuba moves right. We are truly, truly fucked if this health care shit happens.

WHAT WE NEED IS: tort reform. Look up Texas. The economy is booming. Doctors are flocking. Lawyers are slinking away like naughty little cats caught humping gerbils. My solution? Kill all the lawyers. Then institute tort reform. Then open up insurance competition across state lines, so you can purchase (without your asshole employer) a package on your own from some dude in Kansas who can beat your New York-based insurer’s price by hundreds, if not thousands. You'll see prices drop so fast you'd think there was a fire sale.

Obuggercare is nothing more than government monopoly on your insurance. You tell me one thing where government's done a better job than the private sector. Good luck. You can't.

There's PLENTY we can do to help the uninsured, for about $28 billion...and it won't affect the taxes of anyone...or the current health care of anyone...or take $500 billion from Medicare over the next 10 years (yeah...who needs old people...fuck them....let's eat them instead...that's what the false Messiah says, along with his assholes in Congress and the Senate).

Make no mistake...this is about control. About making Democrats the controlling party forever.

And the fact that we're fighting back? That shit terrifies them. They'll lose most of their funding if they do tort reform. They'll lose their bullshit argument. They have no clue. They have no ideas. They have no chance.

The facts are out there. If you want to find them. And realize what they mean.

Mark my words. If this health care shit passes, you WILL see the next revolution.

We've. Had. Quite. Enough.

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My Health Care Solution? Kill All the Lawyers, Pass Tort Reform, and Open the Insurance Borders

The Health Care Risks of Fat Fucking Congressmen Who Want National Health Care For You

The other day a story came out in the Washington Post indicating that Senate plans for “health reform” could very much end up coming down to this: Get healthy or get fucking taxed to death, with the emphasis on dying sooner so you can get the hell out of the way.

So, in the interest of clarity, let’s break down an April 2009 report by Politico, when the debate over national health takeover was just beginning so soon after America woke up to the fact that Democrats (and Democrat lite Senators Olympia Snowe and Susan Collins) had Obuggered us with a $787 billion “stimulus” plan that 6 months later hasn’t provided one tangible benefit (except the incredibly cheap per-job cost of $71,500 and the benevolence of turtle tunnels) and focus on one individual who has far too much influence over whether or not, under Obuggercare, your health status will be the difference among you receiving government gravy or being left alone or getting ground into soylent green.

As our poster child, our totem of fitness, our Health Care Superman, Congressman Barney Frank (Dickhead, Mass) is the perfect representative of nothing more than personal body abuse.

Barney Frank is an admitted fat piece of shit who likes to fuck men. As a doctor of snark, I'm perfectly qualified to diagnose his future and the future drain on the American taxpayer as a result of his probable future health care (which, if you haven't guessed, is the logic the Democrats are using to ram sweeping health care changes down our throats).

Since Frank is obese, he has a higher risk for many health problems (and we’ll go straight to the federal government for these “facts,” because we all know that only the federal government is credible enough to say what’s best for little ole you and me).

Fat fucking congressmen are at risk for type 2 diabetes (that’s when you’re so unhealthy your body can’t use sugar and parts of it start to rot, including your extremities. That means things like your dick start to fall off, Barney. I would think, in particular, a fat gay fucking congressman would be in need of a strong dick, if for nothing less than to continue buggering the American people).

Fat fucking congressmen are at risk for heart disease and stroke. That’s when a blood clot lodges in your heart or brain or an artery leading to your brain. What happens to fat fucking congressmen, and to any person with these problems, is parts of your heart literally die … or, if the blood clot gets caught in your brain or the arteries leading to your brain, your brain literally starts to die. Now, although many Americans would argue that fat fucking congressmen have neither a heart nor a brain to begin with, it’s important you know that fat fucking congressmen are at risk for costing me a lot of fucking money for keeping you on life support when your obviously awful fucking eating and exercise habits render you a fucking vegetable and a burden to fucking society.

Fat fucking congressmen are at risk for cancer. That’s when, worse than diabetes, your body starts to eat itself. That’s right, fat fucking congressmen are infinitely more at risk for having cells within their body mutate. That means, for you uneducated fat fucking congressmen, the cells within your body change and gobble nearby cells like they’re on the menu at the local buffet for fat fucking congressmen. Eventually these gobbling mutating cells take over so much of your body that your body no longer represents that of a fat fucking congressman but one of a thin fucking old person pretending to be a model, or a stick figure, because, when these cells gobble each other, there’s nothing left of fat fucking congressmen but their flesh and bones. The cost of treating fat fucking congressmen with cancer is so astronomical we could, instead, probably bomb the moon with rockets every week to check for water and find none and still come out ahead. I’m beginning to think that spending $79 million to bomb the moon might be more important than treating fat fucking congressmen with cancer.

Now let’s get into some risks of homosexual behavior. Fat fucking gay congressmen are more likely to transmit social diseases they wouldn’t want their mother to have. One of them, AIDS, makes cancer look like a little leaguer who never takes the bat off his shoulder.

Fat fucking gay congressmen are also more likely to get human papillomavirus, a virus that can cause cervical cancer in women. In men (as in women), HPV can cause the lovely physical and contagious characteristic of genital warts. But it can also cause “cancer of the prick” and anal cancer. Sounds like a lot of fun. Why am I not gay? I’ve been missing so much all these years.

You know, while wine is fine, whiskey’s quicker, and I’d like to challenge any member of Congress or the Senate who even thinks of signing a bill that would require me to give up my Constitutional right to eat or drink whatever the fuck I want, in lieu of the threat of financial penalties established by the federal government for “bad” food or drink choices, to a water pistol duel, in D.C., in December, over my personal honor, and my individual liberty (you know, that Constitutional phenomenon, or right, that allows disobedient civilians like me to take on fat fucking gay congressmen and their bullshit friends).

Because I guarantee you the pitchforks and torches you’ll be facing if you pass this shit bill will scare you more than any childish duel, even terrifying fat fucking gay congressmen who’d love to have a public health care option that doesn’t apply to them.

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The Health Care Risks of Fat Fucking Congressmen Who Want National Health Care For You

The Day Obamacare Died

Via Moonbattery

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The Day Obamacare Died

BREAKING IN 2011: Implantable Microchip Backfires, Kills New Health Care Plan

Sometime in the not too distant future in a land right beneath your feet….

WASHINGTON -- Amazing reports are coming in from all over the country today indicating that President Barack Obama’s new national health care plan is a fiasco -- but not for any of the reasons conservative protesters had predicted.

Shocking details reveal that a microchip implanted in all Americans receiving national health care, in accordance with text starting on page 1,000 of H.R. 3200, has turned all recipients immediately into conservatives.

“This is the single biggest mistake we could have made,” said John Holdren, Obama’s science czar. “We should have gone with forced abortions and spiked water supplies with chemicals to initiate sterilization in all women, but the president wanted to be more subtle and use the microchips and start weeding out the old and the sick. Now I don’t even think we’ll be able to abduct all of the children, if everyone’s a conservative and owns at least 100 guns, which, I understand, is compulsory for membership. We had dreamed of a nation of controllable Zombiecrats, a new world order, the final solution, but now we face certain defeat in 2012. Another genius move by the Crisismaker in Chief.”

A mandatory requirement for those enrolling in the government’s health care plan, the chips were implanted in most Americans earlier this year after all private insurance companies folded when employers stopped offering health insurance, instead taking a meager government penalty per employee in exchange for striking the expensive benefit from their budgets.

The chips were supposed to turn any American enrolled in the government plan into a raving lunatic who shuffled around, their arms (stiff with rigor mortis) held out before them, their brain shriveling inside their skull, their eyes turning opaque and vacant, their mouth moaning the blessed words, “Obama iz king…Obama iz king.”

Instead what transpired can only be called amazing.

According to Harry Simpleton, Holdren’s chief scientist on the project, it’s a matter of faulty engineering.

“We had a guy at the government-run factory accidentally load the entire text of the Declaration of Independence, the Constitution, and The Federalist Papers, none of which any Zombiecrat in their right mind has ever read, into the chips and… POOF! … everyone who got one is now an intelligent, limited-government, fiscally responsible conservative,” Simpleton said. “It’s the most amazing feat of social engineering I’ve ever seen.”

White House spokesman Robert “Ahhh” Gibbs said, that while the microchip program can be considered a huge failure, at least the accusations of conservative protesters from the summer of 2009 didn’t turn out to be true.

“Obviously, there is no addition to the national debt, there are no death panels, there is no government mind control, and there is no blue pill,” he said, in his customary mocking tone. “There’s also no longer a Democratic Party, but…well…ahhh…next question!”

*

BREAKING IN 2011: Implantable Microchip Backfires, Kills New Health Care Plan

"You Lie"

That's right, Joe Wilson, he is a liar.

UPDATE: Again, and again, and again.

After all, doesn't Obugger sound like a dad scolding a bunch of kids who just did as he does and not as he said to do? And did you catch Nancy Pelosi's look? It's almost as if she just heard a recording of herself calling the American people Nazis.

Bugger off, Obugger. You do lie....you broken record sinking into irrelevancy fake high-IQ whiny asshole with terrible poll numbers whose only claim to fame is getting passed a Porkulus bill that hasn't done jack while you lose the respect of more Americans by the Teleprompter sound byte.

You may be a resident of the White House, but you're no president of the United States, no more than, say, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad is. Obviously, since you're not listening to hundreds of thousands of Americans and, on Saturday, upwards of a million, you think you're president only of you.

Believe me...whatever you say does not go...not by a long shot.

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"You Lie"

LEAKED! Tonight's BRAND SPANKIN' NEW, Never Before Been Uttered in 92 Previous Speeches, Health Care Message from Obama

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Make your own at I Can Has Cheezburger.

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LEAKED! Tonight's BRAND SPANKIN' NEW, Never Before Been Uttered in 92 Previous Speeches, Health Care Message from Obama

All Your Hand Washes Are Belong to Us

Image via JEFFHEAD.COM

"Kids, wash your hands." More great expert advice from the king of the moonbat zombies.

Should they also stop breathing, Dr. Evil? I'm betting that would be great for your spiraling deficit and your need to have national health care passed.

UPDATE: And will Democrats investigate the production of Obugger's speech to the kiddies... like they did when HW talked to kiddies in 1991?

Probably not; they're too busy fighting amongst themselves... exactly the place we need them to be. While they're at it, maybe they can do us all a favor and cough on each other and shake hands without washing.

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All Your Hand Washes Are Belong to Us

I Just Love Obugger's Priorities

Just like when he was gazing at some young girl's behind, Obugger's head just isn't in the game. August, traditionally a very quiet month in politics, is turning out to be his Waterloo. And he's out walking the beach, on our dime.

Loose the public, Obugger, especially the senior public, and you lose the war.

Enjoy that vacation. You're going to wish you were retired (and you soon may be).

Click to scratch and sniff.

h/t: Nietzsche is Dead

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I Just Love Obugger's Priorities

Nah...There Ain't No Death Panels Here

From the lips of Obugger to Jewish rabbis, says Klavan:

According to Ben Smith over at Politico, President Barack Obama gave some theological weight to his health care plan during a phone call to a group of Rabbis the other day. Referring to the belief that God decides during the Jewish New Year “who shall live and who shall die,” Obama told the rebs, “We are God’s partners in matters of life and death.”

Take note, ladies and gentlemen. A sitting U.S. pResident, who denies his health care bill provides death counseling, just said to Jewish people (who, perhaps more than anyone else, know a little bit about death at the hands of government) that:

"[Elected officials of the U.S. Federal Government] are God’s partners in matters of life and death.”

Are you getting what he means? Because, and I'm just typing off the top of my head here, apparently the rest of us who latched on to this "death panel" thing, long before Sarah Palin did, are apparently ... just ... making ... things ... up ... out ... of ... thin ... air.

h/t: Cold Fury

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Nah...There Ain't No Death Panels Here

What Do Obugger and Brownfinger Have In Common?

Continuing with the Nazi theme of the day: First...we must get the racism out of the way...



Then there would be that little trouble with right-wing protesters, and how to deal with them:



Then, of course, there is the FINNALL SOLUUUUTIONNN, the reinvention of health care (and certainly our future) as we know it (well, not really in Brownfinger's case, but, if you made it this far, who cares, eh?)...



h/t: Hope Springs Eternal, Amusing Bunni and Logistics Monster

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What Do Obugger and Brownfinger Have In Common?

Holy Crap! I MUST Be a Nazi!

NOTE: I pulled this post earlier today when Blogger was under a DoS attack, thinking that somehow it was my little blog causing the ruckus with some undetectable malware infecting others who came here. If I could be so important.

Apparently yesterday's post is ranking quite high on Google today. I have the distinct honor of being number one on the list for the search terms: "swastika gold bar."

UPDATE: But WAIT! Maybe I'm NOT a Nazi. Maybe Obugger is:

Here's his health care logo ...

Nothing too interesting there? Look again, says Sweetness & Light (via Rush). The Hollywood Gossip adds, if you look hard enough, you can find swastikas hidden everywhere....

Therefore, Obugger MUST be a Nazi.

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Holy Crap! I MUST Be a Nazi!

ElRushbo Gives Me Townhall Protest Marching Orders

Source: Soylent Green

I was just about finished polishing the last of my 7,001 gold bars, doing what rich white racist community organizers do when shamelessly hording our money from the IRS to fund secretive political missions from K Street, when the phone rang.

“Dr. Dave, I presume?”

“Yep,” I said into the Bluetooth headset the Republican National Committee bought me last fall during the infamous “Barack Obama Is a Kenyan” rallies, aimlessly rubbing circles over the gleaming gold bar in my hand.

“This izzzz Elllll-Russsshhhbo.”

“Hey, there Mahatma. Been reported to the White House today?”

“Dr. Dave, I’m sure Rahmbo records streaming audio of my voice every day; there’s no need for anyone to report me.”

“Good point. What can I do for ya?” I set down the gold bar and picked up a swastika arm band. I had a feeling it was going to come in handy.

“Glad you asked, Dr. Dave. I have some marching orders for you.”

I knew it, I thought. I’d been so bored of late, having been mundanely blogging thousands of words about the details of the president’s energy and health care policy and helping to bring down his popularity. I had a pretty good feeling that “marching orders” meant there was opportunity to be had in crisis. I was not disappointed.

“It’s time to load up the busses and haul in the grannies and granddads from all over the country. We’ve got to hit these Townhall meetings with force.”

Secretly inside I felt like a kid, as if I were again wiggling in delight over dropping a squirming frog down the front of Miss Wilson’s blouse and watching my third-grade teacher scream in revulsion, as she tore off her shirt to keep the frog from crawling into her bra, revealing what I figured at the time to be the greatest thing any 8-year-old had ever seen.

“No Brooks Brothers crowd, Rush? No seersucker suits and Bulova watches? You want straw hat and pitchfork types, right?” I said, trying to shake off the memory of my first community disruption to focus on the task in front of us.

“Righto, Dr. Dave. We need angry mobs.” I could hear the giddiness in his voice. He was reveling in the president’s Waterloo moment. He wanted this president to fail. “Make sure you round up lots of Libertarians and independents and pissed off Democrats, just to make it look good. We want to achieve deception here. We’ve got to make it look like the majority of Americans don’t want this health care business. We’ve got to make it look like people have just had enough.”

“Yes, Godfather,” I said.

And Rush went on, making it clear that his and Sean Hannity’s and Michael Steele’s and John Boehner’s and Mitch McConnell’s names were never to be associated with such shenanigans.

As he wrapped up, the doorbell rang.

RIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGG!

Explosions erupted inside the house. The dog, barking 40 times a second, came racing down the hall, the sound of her claws scraping the floor growing louder and louder as she approached. My kids, emitting high-pitched screeches, ran like banshees right beside the dog, the cacophony so loud I could barely hear Rush saying “What the…..What IZZZ that racket?”

I opened the door to find the FedEx man standing outside, holding an envelope. The two children dashed out to greet him, one coming from each side of me, the dog barreling out between my legs, almost knocking me over. In fear, the FedEx man flung the envelope at me and dashed down the steps.

I caught the envelope on my chest and fell back against the open door, balancing on one leg while using my other foot to hook the dog under her throat, to keep her from chasing the poor guy.

“What the hell is going on?” Rush said in my ear, clearly not happy.

“Sorry, Rush.” I made sure everyone was back in the house and took the Bluetooth off my ear for a second and screamed, knowing full well Rush could still hear me but at least I wouldn’t be ruining his cochlear implants. “KIDS!!! I’m trying to plan something here on the phone. Will you SHUT UP?”

My question was immediately ignored.

“What, Daddy? What? What? What are you planning?” my 8-year-old said, hopping up and down with the unabashed glee I recognized in myself the day I disrupted Miss Wilson’s classroom.

“Yeah, Daddy. What? What? What?” said my youngest.

“An angry mob. Now give me just a minute.” I put the headset back on and opened the envelope and took out a check. “WOW, Rush. Just a million this time?”

“Yes, Dr. Dave. It’s a tough economy, but we know you will use it wisely.”

“Sure, Rush. Heck, with the Cash for Clunkers discount, we might be able to use the money to buy a couple thousand Toyata Priuses and have the rabble rousers show up at the Townhall meetings disguised as anthropogenic global warming believers.”

“Good thinking, Dr. Dave.”

“Are you going to make fun of the president,” my youngest asked, adding: “Rock Obama! I don’t like him!”

“Me neither,” the 8-year-old chimed in. “Barack Obama: KING OF THE MOONBATS! Hey, Dad. Can we come too? We’ll have Mommy paint swastikas on our cheeks!”

“Dr. Dave,” Rush said, having listened to my family dynamic all along, “you’ve been raising them right. I think your angry mobs are going to be wildly successful.”

*

ElRushbo Gives Me Townhall Protest Marching Orders

UPDATED (NOW WITH MORE SNARK!): The Proper Response to Obugger's Health Care Rumor Hotline

I think Overkill said it best.

Some cribbed lyrics for those who can't stand thrash metal (wimps): "We don't care what you say: FUCK YOU!"

For proper frame of reference, check this Stalinesque shit out:

There is a lot of disinformation about health insurance reform out there, spanning from control of personal finances to end of life care. These rumors often travel just below the surface via chain emails or through casual conversation. Since we can’t keep track of all of them here at the White House, we’re asking for your help. If you get an email or see something on the web about health insurance reform that seems fishy, send it to flag@whitehouse.gov.

Or maybe this will help put to rest the issue of who is a liar: NakedEmporerNews or THE PRESIDENT...

h/t: The Big Feed and Nickie Goomba



WHICH, should naturally be followed by this:



UDPATE: I was going to report H.R. 3200 to Obugger's watchdog email address as something fishy I found on the Internet, but then I figured he'd never read the bill.

So I checked out "Open" congress.org, where you can read the bill without spraining your wrist scrolling through the pdf here. If you go to "open" congress.org, take a gander at the righthand side of the page, specifically at the statistics on people who've let Congress know what they think of the bill:

12% Users Support Bill

180 in favor / 1325 opposed

You have to sign up for an account and give the government all kinds of identifiable information, so the actual number of people who've VIEWED the document as lurkers has to be much higher.

But of those who've taken the time to speak freely and give the government a name and address (obviously, it's easy to make up fake information), I think the results are pretty startling.

UPDATE II: Wow. This is the FIRST article I've seen in the media about this "fishy" business. Nice of the MSM to be out in vast numbers to vehemently defend the First Amendment. Oh...I'm sorry. It's their First Amendment, not ours? Huh. You learn something new every day.

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UPDATED (NOW WITH MORE SNARK!): The Proper Response to Obugger's Health Care Rumor Hotline