Never Go Full Retard, Regressives

NEVER GO FULL RETARD

Yes. I'm calling for WAR against lawlessness. Yes. I fear we are stumbling over the edge. Yes. We are being ruled by a stuttering clusterfuck of a miserable failure and 544 other buffoons. 


And. Yes. We. Are. Slaves. This comment on my piece from yesterday, posted here and at Conservative Hideout, just proves what I've been saying all along (The quoted lines are from my WAR piece.):

“This is no longer America. You no longer have the opportunity for the American Dream.” 

“THIS IS WAR.” 

No its not. This is the rule of law. You are making a utterly foolish spectacle of yourself doing the ‘chicken little – the sky is falling’ routine. 

This is USA, the will of the people, and how the system works. The people’s Congress passed the ACA. The President of USA has signed the ACA bill into law. The Supreme Court of USA has declared the ACA constitutional. 

Get over yourself. 

“Barack Obama swept into office in 2008 with a promise of hope and change, but in reality he’s fundamentally changed America –JUST AS HE SAID HE WOULD – and that “change” is to effectively dash all hope for any kind of future whatsoever.” 

You have forgotten USA is the land of the free, home of the brave? Having a safety under the high-flying trapeze artist does not prevent the artist from being any better or worse than the individual wants to be. 

The crux of the matter is so simple. You have convince yourself that you do not want a safety net for yourself (for reasons known only to the universe). It pi$$es you off to no end to think that there are others who do want a higher quality of life and are willing to pay for it. 

“You, we, me — we’re all slaves now.” 

Living in an advanced, modern, civil society makes one a slave?! Really? 

Ema Nymton
~@:o?

Never go full retard, regressives. Stop chooming the unicorn farts and step away from the stupid.

*

Never Go Full Retard, Regressives

The Dream Is Over: SCOTUS Says You're No Longer Free

THESE 9 PEOPLE JUST TOLD YOU TO TAKE YOUR MEDICINE

This is no longer America. You no longer have the opportunity for the American Dream. You, we, me -- we're all slaves now. The Supreme Court of the United States of America has just made it official.

Congress has abandoned you. The executive branch has abandoned you.  SCOTUS has abandoned you. The lapdog media has abandoned you.

I had hopes, coming into today, that SCOTUS would uphold the rule of law, that the President of the United States and his Congresscriminal henchmen (and women) would not be allowed to rule you like king and court. I had hopes that the possibility of the American Dream, though tarnished and bloated by a monolith of ineffectual and overtly socialist federal government (from BOTH parties), could be reclaimed in November.

I no longer have any such hope. Barack Obama swept into office in 2008 with a promise of hope and change, but in reality he's fundamentally changed America -- JUST AS HE SAID HE WOULD -- and that "change" is to effectively dash all hope for any kind of future whatsoever. He will do whatever he must to win in November. The Supreme Court just gave him the most significant boost of his presidency. Even the Stock Market fears the dream is over, tumbling after the SCOTUS decision was announced.

From the SCOTUSblog, while 866,000 people watched the live blog, the ruling came down:

• In a ruling by turncoat, un-American, and heretoforetobe reviled, Chief Justice John Roberts wrote that the Court does not reach severability issues, having upheld the mandate 5-4. The Court holds that the mandate violates the Commerce Clause, but that doesn't matter because there are five votes for the mandate to be constitutional under the taxing power. "Our precedent demonstrates that Congress had the power to impose the exaction in Section 5000A under the taxing power, and that Section 5000A need not be read to do more than impose a tax. This is sufficient to sustain it."
• You CANNOT refuse to pay the tax. The only effect of not complying with the mandate is that you pay the tax. (A tax that Obama himself previously said WASN'T a tax.)
• Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg makes clear that the vote is 5-4 on sustaining the mandate as a form of tax. Her opinion, for herself and Justices Sotomayor, Breyer and Kagan, joins the key section of Roberts opinion on that point. She would go further and uphold the mandate under the Commerce Clause, which Roberts wouldn't. Her opinion on Commerce does not control.
• In dissent, Justice William Kennedy, JUSTICE WILLIAM KENNEDY!, wrote: "In our view, the entire Act before us is invalid in its entirety." It's a vast judicial overreach.

But dissenting opinons don't help you hold onto your freedom. There is no room in this country for freedom anymore. None whatsoever. (The actual majority opinion is here.)

William Jacobson over at Legal Insurrection says we need to fight back at the voting booth.

I recently said the same:

In these spend times we are nearing end times. The center cannot hold. It's already beyond being off axis. 

In the coming 5 months we have a decision to make. Do we let our country die? Do we let our way of life die? Do we let ourselves die? 

Choosing Mitt Romney over Barack Obama is infinitely more palatable than continuing on this path of destruction we follow. We have great sacrifices to make. We will have to retire later than we planned. We will have to expect less government entitlements than we were "promised" when we were forced to give the government our money to fund them. Then more money. And still more money. (Hell, every year we vote to tax ourselves locally for infrastructure projects many of us never see come to life, because often that money is diverted to other expenditures, just like the entitlement taxes we pay.) We will have to make the biggest gut check of our lives. We will have to hold the limbs of the people we elect to take over this monstrosity to more than just a fire; we will have to tie them to a rack and torture them, if necessary, to right this sinking ship.

I've been hearing "let's go to the voting booth and take back this country" all of my adult life. Like many of you, I've voted my conscience, or at least on what I thought was in the best interest of this country to keep it somewhere within the framework of a Constitutional Republic, however ridiculous and misguided an exercise that was.

The fact is, we've allowed 100 Senators, 435 Congressmen, one President, and nine Supreme Court justices — 545 human beings out of the 300 million who are directly, legally, morally, and individually responsible for the domestic problems that plague this country -- to cajole us, to patronize us, to lie to us, to horrify us, to control us from their sick little pulpits in the District of Criminals.

FIVE-HUNDRED-AND-FORTY-FIVE PEOPLE RULE OVER 300 MILLION.

It's time we stop letting them.

Congress has abandoned you. The executive branch has abandoned you. The Supreme Court has abandoned you. Their watchdogs, the media, have abandoned you.

What are you going to do about it?

I know what I'm going to do: Tear the monolith down by whatever means necessary.

THIS IS WAR.

Also posted at Pat Dollard.

Linked by Barking Moonbat.

*

The Dream Is Over: SCOTUS Says You're No Longer Free

'Obama' Now a Dirty Word on 'South Park'

Now "South Park" can't even say the words "pResident Obama."

After last week's episode of the Comedy Central series sparked a threat (and yes, it was certainly a threat) from District of Criminal extremists, the network cracked down for their own good on creators Trey Parker and Matt Stone during last night's continuation of the show's storyline.

For those who missed the drama, the show's 200th episode last week mocked the one "celebrity" that the series has been largely unable to depict, pResident Barack Obama, who was hidden from view in a Tiger Woods costume. A U.S.-based website, Whitehouse.gov, then warned Parker and Stone they could end up like Bart Stupak (the retiring Michigan Congresscriminal forced to fade into oblivion for getting Obama the final votes needed to pass Obamacare) and even posted the address of the show's production office.

The site will be shut down in November 2012.

Last night, "South Park" continued the controversial Obama storyline, but with a key difference: every instance of the words "pResident Obama" was bleeped out, making the episode practically incomprehensible, especially to anybody who missed the last 16 months of American life.

The character of Obama was once again also hidden from view, covered by a large block labeled "censored."

A Comedy Central spokesperson confirmed it was the network's decision to bleep the words.

The Obama content is also not available on the South Park Studios website.

Ironically, "South Park" apparently shows an image of pResident Obama briefly in its opening credits that has gone largely unnoticed.

*

'Obama' Now a Dirty Word on 'South Park'

FDA To Regulate Amount of Food in Processed Foods

Citing the growing number of foods that people actually enjoy, the Food and Drug Administration today announced plans to regulate just how much food processed foods can contain.

"It's more than food for thought," said Food Czar Ferdie “Federal” Famiñe. “We certainly think it's appropriate to manage every little morsel the American people eat."

The regulations will require food manufacturers to fill every package of processed food with 95 percent air and only 5 percent food. Fast foods will now be served in portions that would make a French chef jealous.

New Wendy's Biggie Size entree, per federal regulation

The sweeping changes will dovetail with the Obamacare legislation Rahmed down America’s throat earlier this year.

"The idea is to make it that much more unnecessary for you to see a doctor, so now you won't even have to worry about the quality of your diet in the first place,” Foodie said. “Since we already face a doctor shortage, the situation will only get worse as more and more people who once wanted to become doctors go into professions like mortuaries and garbage collection. With these regulations, we not only circumvent the doctor shortage but, with people no longer eating, we’ll also eradicate obesity and urban density. Let’s face it, starvation is a wonderful tool for discipline, health care cost containment, and population control."

The White House was fully supportive of the FDA. “Let them eat air!” said Robert “Ahhh” Gibbs, chief propagandist for the Obama Regime.

Regulatory Czar Cass Sunstein, who promotes forced abortions and mass sterilization as necessary means for human population control, seemed to have an epiphany when told of the plan.

“Doh! And here I was trying to be some pseudo-nazi-intellectual when all we needed was proper guidance from the FDA!” Sunstein said. “Zer vil be no food!”

pResident Barack Obama, meanwhile, knowing the regulations won’t apply to him anyway, took the news with more than a few grains of salt. He had a double cheeseburger, slammed two Yuengling beers, and boarded Air Force One, taking advantage of the air space reopening over Europe for the first time since volcanic ash began spewing from Iceland to fly to Iran and golf with BFF Mahmoud Ahmadinejad.

*

FDA To Regulate Amount of Food in Processed Foods

And Then HE Turned Water into ... Sulfuric Acid

... and made more than half the country drink, so he could have Obamacare, with half the burden.


But some people refused to drink.

Tight-lipped against his noxious potion but big-mouthed against his ruinous agenda, they assembled, first on February 27, 2009, then again on April 15.

And there were many.

And lo when they looked around and saw that they were not the only racist tea-bagging leftover mobster malcontents from flyover country -- 40 percent of them Democrats and Independents, all of them from all races and creeds and economic means -- they fanned out across the nation, a few here, a few there, 2 million strong on the National Mall, without central direction, all drawn to a cause, the Constitution, all opposed to another cause, the Obama Regime.

And they grew in numbers, despite being ignored and vilified and written off by a dwindling press as anti-American.

But that was only because they made their voices heard loud and clear, so loud and clear some poor suckers became terrified and were fool enough to announce their intentions to infiltrate this filthy band of rabble-rousers, the not-so-silent-anymore majority.

And as they gathered around the country on the dreaded Income Tax Day, April 15, 2010, to declare their allegiance to America, to swear their oath to defend the Constitution -- against all who oppose it -- they surrounded the infiltrators, far and wide, holding signs with arrows pointing to the impostors, chanting terms, to undo the posers, like "astroturfers astroturfers astroturfers," such good students of hijacking Saul Alinksy they had become.

Image via iOwnTheWorld.com

And so it was that throughout the country, the powerful but peaceful march toward November 2, 2010, continued, without pitchfork and tar and feather and tear gas and riot control, but with incredible energy and patriotism and courage and peacefulness -- and the impostors fell to their knees, outdone and outclassed and outmanned and outwomaned, the teabaggers charging on towards victory, the losers slinking back into their cracks in the wall, to shrivel up and cry themselves into oblivion.

Author's note: Obviously, I'll be out of touch today, except for Twitter updates from the Atlanta Tea Party, via @snarkybasterd. But I'll be videotaping any B.S. from the left and will catch up with you just as soon as I can; you do the same.

P.S. Here's what an infiltrator will look like. Happy Tea Party Day, America!

Image via Woodsterman

*

And Then HE Turned Water into ... Sulfuric Acid

Lawmakers Repeal Obamacare Over Coverage Gaffe

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- In a stunning admission of their own incompetence, first the House of Representatives then the Senate voted unanimously today to repeal Obamacare, following revelations the 2,700-page healthcare bill pResident Barack Obama signed into law in March actually revokes the lawmakers’ current personal health insurance.

The repeal bill was surprisingly brief in comparison to the reams and reams of paper 7 competing Congressional and Senate draft health deform bills occupied last year, simply stating: “We can’t possibly be thrown into the health care pool with the peasants. Obamacare is hereby repealed.”

The bill was introduced in the House by The Wicked Witch of Congress, who was so enraged she could barely speak, except to say, “Take our brains; we’re not using them.”

House minority leader John Boehner -- who last time he took the floor of Congress gave a rabble-rousing speech that ended with him screaming “Hell no, you can’t!” -- today stood before his colleagues and laughed for 20 minutes.

“Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!” he said, before collapsing and being removed to his offices so he could recover enough to cast a vote in favor.

After passing the House, the bill was quickly sent to the Senate, where Harry Reid stood dumbfounded before his fellow senators.

“I-I-I can’t explain how this happened; did the Republicans somehow slip this language into the bill during the middle of the night?” Reid said. Hours after the bill also passed the Senate, a new Gallup poll showed him winning only 2 percent of the vote in his bid for reelection in Nevada.

It was a shocking first day back from Easter recess for federal lawmakers. Even more shocking: their bill was historic, the first time that 100 percent of the House and Senate voted unanimously on anything.

“Now that’s what I call bipartisan healthcare reform,” Vice President Joe Biden said, before realizing the vote completely ruined the pResident’s signature achievement to date (other than making the Guinness Book of World Records for completing the most self-demeaning bows to foreign dignitaries).

“Shit, this is an even bigger fuckin’ deal than before,” Biden said, nicely recovering. “Even I wouldn’t have done something that stupid.”

Chief White House Propagandist Robert “Ahh” Gibbs refused to comment on whether or not the pResident will sign the bill, saying only that the pResident had already promised to voluntarily participate in the health insurance exchange, even though he wasn’t required.

But sources say the pResident was so angry the fiasco would now sully his desire to be viewed as a really good one-term pResident, Obama will likely sign the bill then regroup and try to Rahm through another version of healthcare deform before Memorial Day.

After the Senate vote, The Wicked Witch of Congress confronted Reid outside his office and was arrested for threatening to kill him.

“How could you let this happen, you nitwit!?" she screamed. "You told us you would fix any problems in reconciliation. You just screwed the pooch. I hope you die; I’d kill you myself if I weren’t a 70-year-old bag of unpliable Botox! I'll get you, my dingy!”

She was later released on her own recognizance and was seen writing threats against America with her broom into the sky above the Capitol Building.

Reid, meanwhile, sat in a corner, sobbing, his arms wrapped around his knees as he rocked himself back and forth, saying, “there’s no place like home, there’s no place like home,” a place to which he surely will return after November, where he can thank all of his many loyal supporters:

Image via iOwnTheWorld.com

*

Lawmakers Repeal Obamacare Over Coverage Gaffe

Eight "Militant" Doctors Arrested for Plotting to Treat Patients

Image via Soylent Green

Editor’s Note: This isn’t even meant to be funny; it’s just an exercise in replacing certain words in a news story about a militia with others about healthcare and considering the results.

Federal agents from the Internal Revenue Service, Bureau of Investigation, and Ted Kennedy Memorial Health Rationing Board swarmed a makeshift health clinic in Michigan yesterday, arresting eight doctors who were audaciously planning to treat patients without government authority.

Agents moved quickly against the group, known as Primum Non Nocere (Latin for “first, do no harm”), because its members were planning to treat patients sometime in April, prosecutors said. Authorities seized Band-Aids in the raid but would not say whether they found any medicine.

The arrests have dealt "a severe blow to a dangerous organization that today stands accused of conspiring to levy war against nationalized healthcare," said Attorney General Eric Holder.

Authorities said the arrests underscored the dangers of homegrown anti-national healthcare extremism of the sort seen before 2009, when 2,375,000 people who had health insurance died versus the 45,000 people who died with none.

In an indictment, unsealed today, prosecutors said the group began training to treat patients without federal authority before pResident Barack Obama was elected in 2008, each spending about a decade and hundreds of thousands of dollars learning to diagnose and treat patients without some dweeb in the District of Criminals with a six-figure-salaried desk job, thanks to a friend in Congress, telling them how.

Frank Burns, 54, of Clayton, Mich., and one of his sons were identified as the ringleaders of the group. Burns, who was known as "Doc," organized the group in whitecoat fashion, and members were assigned secret names, prosecutors said. Ranks ranged from "attending physician" to "intern," according to the group's Web site.

"It started out as a Hippocratic Oath thing," said Mary Burns, his ex-wife. "You go to a medicine cabinet. You put a Band-Aid on someone’s cut without permission from the Health Rationing Board. You take your chances. I think Frank started to take it a little too far when he decided to treat hangnails."

Prosecutors said Burns had identified certain people near his home as potential patients. He and other members discussed luring the people to the Primum Non Nocere offices, using real medicine to treat them, saving a dying patient after a traffic accident, or convincing patients they should tell family members about the care they’d received, according to the indictment. After such actions, the group allegedly planned to spread out into the community and offer their services at discounted rates in a competitive standoff with the law.

"It is believed by the Primum Non Nocere that this engagement would then serve as a catalyst for a more widespread uprising against nationalized healthcare," the indictment said.

The charges against the eight include seditious conspiracy, plotting to levy war against U.S. health care financing law; possessing medical equipment during a crime of doing no harm; teaching the practice of medicine; and attempting to use a weapon of mass benevolence -- homemade tongue depressors. The defendants were sent to Gitmo, the former prison for Islamic terrorists now serving as a holding cell for people who violate national healthcare policy.

Primum Non Nocere says on its Web site its name means "First, do no harm" and describes the words as part of a secret language that, thanks to Obamacare, fewer will now be privileged to know. The group quotes several medical manuals and declares: "We believe that the greatest mistake in the treatment of diseases is that there are physicians and now bureaucrats who run them; one knows how to keep people alive, the other knows how to use Microsoft Excel."

The site features a picture of 17 men in white coats, all holding large stethoscopes, and includes videos of men armed with patient charts running through an emergency room. Each wears a shoulder patch that bears a staff entwined by two serpents in the form of a double helix and surmounted by wings.

Actually, she's Nurse Wretched.

*

Eight "Militant" Doctors Arrested for Plotting to Treat Patients

Lie to Me (I'd Drop Dead if You Didn't)

You'd think in the information age politicians would, for once, just shut the fuck up and stop lying and own up to the damned truth. Oh, I'm sorry. For a minute there I was dreaming that they actually care what we think.

Never mind.

What a silly ass I am to fantasize that when The Wicked Witch of Congress said this -- “No major piece of major social legislation has ever been passed without the vote being partisan" -- she actually thought we'd believe it.

Or, as BigFurHat says,

She’s either stupid or a liar. Wait, what am I saying? She’s stupid and a liar.

After all, can't you spot the partisan legislation? It's all in the Political Math.


I'm going to do Jonnny Lang a grave disservice here, but then I'd rather hear him over the Botox Queen any day:

*

Lie to Me (I'd Drop Dead if You Didn't)

Pain, Damage Don't End the World. Or Despair. The World Ends When You're Dead. Until Then, More Punishment Is in Store. Be a Man & Give Some Back

Otherwise to be translated as "SCREW YOU" Obama and your Merry Band of Congresscriminals. We won't back down.

Watch out, you bastards. That sound you hear creeping up behind you is the American people coming for you ... at the ballot box.

After that, we'll let Ole Scratch grab your asses and suck you down into the abyss and seat you at your rightful place ... at the dinner table ... in the Eighth Circle of Hell.



Via PatDollard.com

*

Pain, Damage Don't End the World. Or Despair. The World Ends When You're Dead. Until Then, More Punishment Is in Store. Be a Man & Give Some Back

UPDATED ++ Obamacare Will "Control the People"

I love it when politicians open their big fat mouths. Congesscriminal John Dingell (Dickhead, Michigan) :

"The harsh fact of the matter is when you're going to pass legislation to cover 300 million people in different ways it takes a long time to do the necessary administrative steps that have to be taken to put the legislation together to control the people."

In fact, Jamie's snark below is a preview of the reality the Dems want for you:


UPDATE: Whether or not King Obama becomes reality, it's pretty fucking clear already what change looks like:

Brought to you by LC Aggie Stith (originally via Logistic Monster, with a sly H/T to cbullitt)

UDPATE II: Nine inch Nails came up on my iPod today. It's not something for the family. But the lyrics of "My Violent Heart" say a lot about what's been going through my addled brain over the last couple weeks, a fever specifically brought on by the Democrats and their arrogance.

And, no, Secret Service, I'm not threatening anyone ... just read the key part of the song:

you have set something in motion

much greater than you've ever known

standing there in all your grand naivety

about to reap what you have sown

time will feed upon your weaknesses

and soon you'll lose the will to care

when you return to the place that you call home

we will be there we will be there



on hands and knees

we crawl

you can not stop us all

our blood will stain

we will not go away

on hands and knees

we crawl

you can not stop us all

our blood our ways will never leave this place

*

UPDATED ++ Obamacare Will "Control the People"

On the Road to Ruin

Posted on behalf of Jamie.

Well, he's signed it.

Joe Biden to the rescue… Drops the f-bomb for the President to make it more interesting. We are governed by morons…

*

On the Road to Ruin

You Shall Not Pass! ... Obamacare

Excuse me while I move some files from the Word Press site over here so I can delete that thing forever. If you didn't see this before, now's your chance!

Previously published 12/19/2009

An open letter inspired by this.

Dear Every Senator:

You shall not pass this monstrosity Harry Reid calls health “reform” because in your twisted arrogance you are blind, unable to see everyone around you recoiling in horror, from the left to the moderate to the right to the voice of the American people expressed in every last poll spewing from the MSM. You know when CNN reports,actually reports, such widespread discontent that you people haven’t the capacity to see beyond the fog of the Twilight Zone surrounding your District of Criminals.

You shall not pass this bill because we back here in flyover country know that whatever form it eventually takes at 8:30 p.m. this Christmas Eve, after you add a slew of amendments that weigh it down like rocks strapped to a hit vic, will be only scaffolding for the final hell you and the House will consummate and birth in committee next January, a bill that will kill the only healthcare in the world worth paying for, a bill that will blanket this country with single-payer care (despite claims otherwise), a bill that will destroy our options and stifle our liberty and not even remotely resemble your pResident’s hollow mantra of “hope.”

You shall not pass this bill because we cannot sustain your shopping spree. While the number of federal employees making over $100,000 has doubled in the past 18 months, and you just gave them a raise, the unemployment rate in this country is 10 percent and higher in many states you represent and not even close to getting better. In fact, the worst is yet to come. You’ve already sent us barreling beyond the legal debt limit and still you spend more so that you can travel far and wide, fatcat politicians laying claim to an endless stream of someone else’s money: OURS. You shall not pass this bill because it will break this country.

You shall not pass this bill because this country doesn’t need another liberty controlling shell game disguised as “entitlement.” You already have entire generations of people under the loving arm of the Motherland, nuzzling against her for comfort and care, in health (we’ll get to “in sickness” in good time). You shall not pass this bill because it is NOT free and it will NOT do any good, except to boost your own inflated and egotistical and maniacal sense of “making history.”

You shall not pass this bill because you do not want to one day regret knowing that, by shoving everyone into the same healthcare plan, you destroyed our chances for ever grabbing a doctor’s time (otherwise known as creating “rationing”). You do not want to regret forcing people to become intimate with the wonderful world of waiting lists, as if we’re standing at the back of a line snaking outside our doctor’s waiting room into the hallway and outside the front door and across the street, stretching to the other side of the county. You do not want to regret forcing people to spend their waiting time being more productive than ever before … by reading War and Peace. While that’s unintended enrichment right there, Creator of Quality health care in the time it takes to read Tolstoy is not an epitaph you one day want chiseled on your tombstone.

You shall not pass this bill because you do not want to chase every smart kid who ever wanted to be a doctor away from medical school. Since doctors already earn less, thanks to Medicare and Medicaid, your health “reform” would push would-be medical students into something else, like garbage collection … or undertaking. Those two businesses are easily the least likely to fall under your government control anytime soon. Garbage is money, always has been (ask The Mob); and for med students, taking care of the dead would be just a few steps away from operating on the live, without the $300,000 in student loan debt or the hassles of malpractice insurance.

You shall not pass this bill because you do not want be responsible for the invention of doctor trailer parks. Under Obamacare, doctors who stay in the biz (due either to their own altruistic reasons or, more likely, to government extortion in exchange for the forgiveness of student loans or practice-related debt) will experience the community joy of public assistance, using food stamps to fill a shelf or two of their refrigerators (if they even have electricity). They’ll sell their homes at a loss and move into federal trailer parks for doctors, seeing patients out of the back room to cut down on practice overhead. The parks will have names like Bones Village and Blue Star Doctors Park and Good Samaritan Estates and take the place of hospitals, saving the federal government billions annually (because, naturally, we’ll have to bail out hospitals by then, too). They’ll become tourist destinations; we’ll plan vacations around our doctor visits and then tour the grounds, letting little Jimmy ride his first x-ray machine in exchange for a $5,000 admission fee. Universities will offer classes about them, with names like Contemporary Medical Trailer Park Economics and Staph Infection in the Trailer Park Hospital. You Congresscriminals, meanwhile, will continue to conduct annual hearings on the State of the American Healthcare Crisis.

You shall not pass this bill because you do not want to create an entirely new travel industry. Under Obamacare, if you get cancer, you can see the world (or what’s left of it) after the Government Health Rationing Board rules you ineligible for care, saving the taxpayers (by then) billions. You’ll use your retirement savings, or what’s left after you pulled them out of the market just before The Crash of ’12 and hid them under a stone in the hearth, to take a fishing boat to Haiti, the ocean cruise business having gone under and Americans no longer visiting any country east of Bermuda after nuclear ballistic missiles, unable to reach North or South America, wiped out every other continent during Iranian President Ahmed Ahmadinejad’s failed attempts to annihilate Washington. You’ll meet a witch doctor who will make you drink chicken’s blood and mumble incantations while stuffing his face in a bong during a 4-hour ceremony to exorcise your tumor. Amazingly, you’ll recover and come back to America and live a long and healthy life, taking annual vacations (by row boat, since you’re now broke) to Haiti for preventive health care.

You shall not pass this bill because you do not want to be responsible for creating less congestion in hospital emergency rooms … for all the wrong reasons. Under Obamacare, your typical accident victim will be treated only if they still have more than 75% of their blood and all of their limbs and at least 90% cognitive function (no substitutes, please). This will preserve the dwindling blood supply and eliminate the waste of resources required to keep a patient on life support. (Plus, it will help save the planet!) And think of the boon for transplantation! Why, with all of the accident victims unworthy of treatment ending up dead, we’ll have mobile organ harvesting sites outside each doctors’ trailer park. Donor waiting lists will become obsolete … that is, of course, if the recipients are still working and able to pay their share of taxes in support of the Motherland.

You shall not pass this bill because, if ACORN can sue the federal government over funding cuts, you can bet your sweet ass millions of people in this country will gladly contribute to organizations willing to bombard you with lawsuits that will hold up your monstrosity for decades in courts. You shall not pass this bill because you can also bet your sweet ass that millions of us will refuse to purchase your mandated health insurance. You do not want to be the reason federal courts start stuffing American people into cells at the new Thomson Penitentiary for Enemy Combatants for refusing to submit to your unconstitutional authority to fine us and jail us and even shoot us over our healthcare insurance.

And we will resist.

Finally, you shall not pass this bill because you are supposed to be the voice of the people. You represent the state from which you were elected. You do not represent yourselves. You do not represent an arrogant and indecisive and thieving and weak president who is on the wrong side of what is right and on the wrong side of history. When it comes right down to it, you shall not pass this bill because, if you do, you can kiss your life in the District of Criminals goodbye; we, the right-wing teabagging mobsters living out here in flyover country, which curiously includes the states you represent, will make sure your careers of public indecent exposure will skid to an embarrassing and resounding and infinitely final halt in 2010 or 2012 or whenever your next election happens to be.

Count on it.

*

You Shall Not Pass! ... Obamacare

Obmacare Will Save Me a Ton of Money!

Excuse me while I move some files from the Word Press site over here so I can delete that thing forever. If you didn't see this before, now's your chance!

Previously published 12/21/2009

Right now I have terrible health insurance for my family of four ADHD-addled lunatics (your arrogant narrator included) because my company makes Mr. Scrooge look like Mr. Benevolent.

But I do have health insurance.

I pay about $350 a month for a “low premium” plan, or in essence I pay for the right to have a high in-network deductible, $3,500 per individual and $7,000 per family. In other words, aside from getting free oxygen and often free germs when one of us visits the doctor, I pay ALL of my healthcare costs … in addition to the right to have insurance if I have a heart attack or one of my kids falls out of a tree (which is why I’ve sold all the ladders and sheared all of the low-hanging limbs from the trees around the homestead and threatened to sell my children to the King of the Moonbat Zombies — their term for Obama — if they ever break a bone).

Yeah. I’m a dictator, but that’s one of the few benefits of being a dad.

(I chose the plan over the HMO fuckery my company also offers — $700 a month premium, with $1,500 individual and $4,500 family deductibles — because healthcare expenses typically don’t go above $1,500 for our entire family in a given year.)

I also put away about $200 a month in a health savings account to cover normal medical expenses like trips to the doctor for colds and for purchasing medicine and for buying lottery tickets, and then rollover what we don’t spend annually, earning something like .0000000002 percent interest, a Ben Bernanke special.

So, all told, my happy little family, during a given year, spends about $8,100 on healthcare, when you add up the premiums (or the right to a high deductible) and health savings account deductions from my earnings and actual healthcare expense payouts. That’s about four times more than we spend on, say, actually taking time to have a nice vacation and relax and forget for 17 seconds that we’re slaves to just about everything except the pursuit of our own life, liberty, and happiness.

Now.

Under Obamacare (or, at least, under the Senate version that will pass on Christmas Eve) I’ll be paying $13,100 come the year 2016 just for family health insurance.

I guess, according to Joe Biden logic, that’s spending money … so the government doesn’t go bankrupt.

But here’s the kicker … beginning in 2014, the federal penalty for not buying health insurance will be $95 and increase to a little under 2 percent of my income come 2016; the House version of this insanity bumps the penalty for ignoring the un-Constitutional mandate up to 2.5 percent of my income in 2013.

So…

If the House and Senate penalties against me for telling them to shove Obamacare up their money-looting asses come in somewhere around $6,000 to $7,000 less than what it costs me now for healthcare, and some $11,000 to $12,000 less than what it will cost me when Obamacare kicks in … I have just one blessed thing to say:

Thanks, Obama. You just saved me a hell of a lot of money!

*

Obmacare Will Save Me a Ton of Money!

While We Fucking Slept...

Excuse me while I move some files from the Word Press site over here so I can delete that thing forever. If you didn't see this before, now's your chance!

Previously published 12/24/2009

A PhotoChop by Jamie

While we slept this morning, the real mobsters, the ones dishing out and accepting bribes in the District of Criminals, completely fucked our country along straight party lines (60-39) … with the first vote on Christmas Eve in more than a century.

Atlas just shrugged.

And the funny thing is, we didn’t sleep. We marched on our capitol buildings during the spring, leading up to TEA Party day on April 15. We screamed during townhall meetings and at local Congressional and Senate offices all summer long. We marched on Washington a million-plus strong in September. We stormed Congressional offices in the fall. We added more than a million signatures to a petition to Congress to stop this madness. We phoned and we blogged and we emailed and we snail mailed and we faxed and we twittered and we bled patriotism, pleading with them:

STOP WHAT YOU’RE DOING AND USE YOUR LAST BRAIN CELL TO COME TO YOUR SENSES.

And they didn’t hear a fucking thing.

I don’t know how much more awake we could have been. I don’t know how much louder we could have screamed. I don’t know how many more ways we could have made our opposition known.

In the end, it didn’t matter. They think they know better than us. And now it’s done.

And that’s fine. Let them have their perceived notion of power. Let them slink back home for Christmas and get drunk on the stinking fumes of their “victory.” Let them dance wildly in the shimmery mirage of the “history” they’ve made.

Because now the real fight begins. The fight for November 2010 and 2012 and every forthcoming election thereafter. The fight to send these fuckers back to their homes, tattered and broken, never to be heard from again.

Be bloody angry. Let it burn in you. Let it harden your resolve. Use it to carry on and maintain your focus. Keep it close and keep it ready for when you need it, for when it will be your time to have your voice truly heard.

Get out your checkbooks and give to the organizations that will try to stop this un-Constitutional legislation in the courts. Beat the bushes and find real conservative candidates who are truly willing to honor the Constitution and write them checks and speak out on their behalf.

Then, when the time comes, scream so loudly with your finger in the voting booth that the Socialists will be shocked when the 7 p.m. newscasts declare them extinct.

We’re coming for you, fatcats. Enjoy your good times. Your days of thievery are done. Forever.

P.S. I wanted to let you, dear reader, know that, in addition to providing you with mirth and piss and vinegar here (depending on my mood), I’ll be fighting the inhabitants of the District of Criminals weekly at PatDollard.com. Stop by and check out this amazing site, including Pat’s incredible Young Americans video series, his reportage from the front lines of Iraq.

*

While We Fucking Slept...

"A Bill Can Be Bipartisan without Bipartisan Votes"

All hail the wisdom of The Wicked Witch of Congress.

They've had plenty of opportunity to make their voices heard. Bipartisanship is a two-way street. A bill can be bipartisan without bipartisan votes. Republicans have left their imprint.

She'll get you, my pretty. Ah hahahahahahah!

*

"A Bill Can Be Bipartisan without Bipartisan Votes"

Eric Holder Must Be an Honorary Member of Al Queda

Why else would the Justice Department contain nine ... yes, nine ... appointees that once either represented or advocated for Guantanamo detainees? That's about as brilliant as posting online the Cliff Notes of a trillion-dollar wealth share bill you know you don't have enough votes for, just before you put on a sham puppet show in the name of "bipartisanship," not that I'm crying or anything.

The surprising admission came three months after Republican Sen. Charles Grassley of Iowa asked Attorney General Eric Holder for a list of names of Obama DOJ appointees who had been involved in legal work for Gitmo prisoners.
Holder, in a letter to Grassley, admitted that nine of the agency's appointees had done some kind of work on behalf of terror suspects.
"To the best of our knowledge, during their employment prior to joining the government, only five of the lawyers who serve as political appointees in those components represented detainees," said Holder in the letter, which is dated Feb. 18.

"Four others either contributed to amicus briefs in detainee-related cases or were otherwise involved in advocacy on behalf of detainees."

Score one more zero for Holder and his boss, Robbing Hood, the captain of transparency, and his merry band of liars.

Via JammieWearingFool.

*

Eric Holder Must Be an Honorary Member of Al Queda

Snarky Photo Reel: Obama's Week in Review #7

Posted on behalf of Jamie

Things aren’t looking too good for The One at the end of His first year… The only good thing is that He still doesn’t get it as shown by His continued push for gov’t Obamacare.

I thought The One we’ve been waiting for was going to shift from healthcare to jobs, jobs, jobs… Note to Barack Hussein Obama (Mmm, mmm, mmm): If you read Article 2, Section 2 of the Constitution, you’ll see that neither one is your responsibility…

All that gray matter in one place… Not one lick of business experience… It would at least be nice if someone in the cabinet had read the Constitution. For the life of me, I can’t find in the document where the President runs the economy…(?) A President can screw it up, he can help it by getting obstacles out of the way, but he doesn’t run it.

The economy being what it is, the First Family still has date night, galas, stars, and flyaways…

*

Snarky Photo Reel: Obama's Week in Review #7

Healthcare Protesters Wield Pitchforks, Torches in CT

Tea baggers tea bagged the Connecticut Business and Industry Association this week, menacing the civic organization that provides health insurance to small businesses.

Carrying pitchforks and torches, the tea bagging cluster$%^ of labor unions and health care groups marched down Church Street in Hartford Tuesday night to let the state’s largest business lobby know that they want health care reform.

I guess these tea bagger wannabes never learned from real tea baggers how to do it right.



More here.

(Via Instapundit)

*

Healthcare Protesters Wield Pitchforks, Torches in CT

Health Care Summit My Ass

Posted on behalf of Jamie: The Republicans told Barack Hussein Obama (Mmm, mmm, mmm) that they don’t want to be a photo op, so if He wants to talk about healthcare again, they have to scrap the old plan and start from scratch. Only The One could construe that as partisan. Holding onto His plan, which has been roundly rejected, is somehow bipartisan…

*

Health Care Summit My Ass

The Day Obamacare Died

Via Moonbattery

*

The Day Obamacare Died