NEWARK -- Six city women seeking backside enhancements have been hospitalized in the last two months after getting injected with mixtures of hardware-grade caulk, silicone and petroleum jelly, according to a report in the New York Post. The New Jersey Department of Health reported the incidents, and hospital officials said the injections all happened in hotels around the Newark area, the paper reported. The women were all from the Dominican Republic. No one has been charged.
A spokesman for the New Jersey Department of Health also reports that the six women now have backsides that are completely waterproofed and weather sealed to withstand a Category 5 hurricane.
ADMIN UPDATE: It seems shaving the nether regions while driving is even more dangerous than texting. From Jammiewearingfool:
JWF was also gracious enough to share a little diddy that Iowahawk left over in the comments of Ace's version of this true-but-funneh:ADMIN UPDATE: It seems shaving the nether regions while driving is even more dangerous than texting. From Jammiewearingfool:
As authorities nationwide warn motorists of the dangers of driving while texting, Florida Keys law enforcement officers add a new caution: Don't try to shave your privates, either.
Florida Highway Patrol troopers say a two-vehicle crash Tuesday at Mile Marker 21 on Cudjoe Key was caused by a 37-year-old woman driver who was shaving her bikini area while her ex-husband took the wheel from the passenger seat.
"She said she was meeting her boyfriend in Key West and wanted to be ready for the visit," Trooper Gary Dunick said. "If I wasn't there, I wouldn't have believed it. About 10 years ago I stopped a guy in the exact same spot ... who had three or four syringes sticking out of his arm. It was just surreal and I thought, 'Nothing will ever beat this.' Well, this takes it.
Shavedown" (Brian Wilson / Iowahawk)
Wax it up, wax it up, cooter gonna shave you down!
It happened in the Keys where the road ain't wide,
A '95 T-Bird with white trash inside,
Yeah, a booze-injected bimbo and her mullet ex,
Revin' up her Remington for some boyfriend sex.
Wax it up, wax it up, cooter gonna shave you down!
The Remington's blades are really startin' out to buzz,
But now they're gettin' clogged and bogged down in the fuzz
To get some traction she's ridin' the clutch,
The smell of burning bush is really gettin' too much!
Swervin' down the road, and the sirens sound
Now her mohawk is the talk of town
Moral of the story, when you want the fuzz to go
Next time buy a Lady Norelco
Wax it up, wax it up, cooter gonna shave you down!
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7 comments:
LOL!! That's hilarious!!
Well, damn, I was just going to try this to!
Poor people who tried making their own! :( I hope this story helps people understand that they shouldn't be using that product like that....
"...<span>that the six women now have backsides that are completely waterproofed and weather sealed to withstand a Category 5 hurricane."</span>
LOL Nice one.
As for the shaver, what a moron!
crazy people! i heard this morning in kentucky a woman was arrested for DUI. when they got her back to the PD, she attacked a deputy with her breastmilk. lol truth is without a doubt stranger than fiction.
It took a minute for me to remember the tune, but when I did I was a singing fool ... or maybe just a fool. Thanks for the laughs Sig94. :-P
Aruba, Jamaica - ooooh I gotta shave ya
Bermuda, Bahama - watch me stroke my llama
Key Largo, Miami - no fuzz hanging out my jammies.
In the Florida keys,
Hold the steering wheel if you please.
While I shave near where I pee,
My foot's on the gas,
The razor's right above my ass,
The stubble is gone
It's as smooth as a newborn fawn
I just mowed my lawn.
Aruba, Jamaica - ooooh I gotta shave ya
Bermuda, Bahama - watch me stroke my llama
Key Largo, Miami - no fuzz hanging out my jammies.
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