I AM THE GWWEAT BAAWWNEY FWWANK! And I WIWL Be CEO of Cowwpwwate Amewwica

(Baawwney, on his lunch bweak with Fannie and Fweddie)I AM THE GWWEAT BAAWWNEY FWWANK! You will bow down befowwe me and wowwship at the altaww of my incwwwediblenesssss!As an egg in my Mommy’s utewussss, I wanted to be a CEO. But then the embwwyo became impwwegnated by my no-good DaDa and spwwit. My genes began to wwepwwicate and mutate and fowm my pwedetewwmined wife handicap, the man I was meant to be, the biwwfth...

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I AM THE GWWEAT BAAWWNEY FWWANK! And I WIWL Be CEO of Cowwpwwate Amewwica

The Top 10 WTF?! of March 2009

I'm cross-posting this stuff I've spewed over here at 1,461 Days - The Story of the Obama Administration, where I'm contributing some badly needed weekly radical conservative domestic terrorist biased snark. Stop by and give E P a few hits when you have some free time. (FOR THE FEDS: It was all HIS idea!)The economy is in shambles, but the most happening city in the country is Washington, D.C., the center of the federal government and the “free” world, even though no resident has Congressional representation. WTF?! With THAT,...

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The Top 10 WTF?! of March 2009

Robert Gibbs Moment o' the Day: Government Motors

A series on the daily press briefings of b. Hussein's rumbling, bumbling, fumbling, stumbling Press Secretary Robert "Ahhhhh" Gibbs....Blah...blah...blah...deadline....blah...blah...blah...we want to be in the car business...blah...blah...blah...government takeover...blah..blah...blah...I don't think I said "ahh" nearly enough during this press briefing today.UPDATE: For an enhanced view on this subject, check out Exurban...

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Robert Gibbs Moment o' the Day: Government Motors

Yahoo's Beatific Image of the Deity b. Hussein

YahooThe Deity, as glorified this a.m. by yahoo.com. Isn't he just grand? Makes you want to drop down on your knees, face Mecca, and praise his Supreme name!Or empty a slop bucket on his head. Tough call. Worship... Denigrate... Worship... Denigrate.Who am I kidding? b. Hussein, I fart in your general direction. Go away...or I will taunt you a second ti...

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Yahoo's Beatific Image of the Deity b. Hussein

Grumbles the Bear Flees My Cuckoo’s Nest

Grumbles the Polar Bear knocked on the door last night (I’d told him to avoid ringing the bell, after that nastiness in February when the Secret Service visited).He’d suffered a particularly harsh winter at the North Pole, with no electricity and little to eat (except Bias Jones) and that brief, disruptive vacation in D.C. when the loony climate-change protesters decried the end of civilization while a foot of snow fell...

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Grumbles the Bear Flees My Cuckoo’s Nest

An Obama Shovels Crap...so What?

AFPThe press has made an outlandish deal about Michelle "Guns" Hussein's agenda:She's chosen a Chicagoland hairstylist.She's on the college commencement hot air tour.She's being honored by the fashion industry for that bedspread she wore for her husband's balls after the inauguration. (To be honest, it would have made me sleep on the couch.)Even Politico is in on the love fest.La de friggin' da. Supposedly she has the...

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An Obama Shovels Crap...so What?

YES...Arlen Sphincter's a RINO

Oh, my...what The Nose On Your Face comes up with.Arlen's going down in 2010, hopefully in the primary, and hopefully to Pat Toomey, but...this "outing" (well, there really wasn't a need for it, since we all KNOW he's a Democrat...but still) is just...so...friggin'...pricele...

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YES...Arlen Sphincter's a RINO

We The Stimulus Package

Revolutionary Thomas Paine returns to scold us for doing absolutely friggin' nothing about b. Hussein, Congress, and generally shitty politicians who steal our money and payoff their friends.And he's RIGHT!But he ALSO lays down a challenge....

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We The Stimulus Package

The Obama Song

Nutty Steven Crowder summarizes b. Hussein's first two months to the music of Billy Joel's "We Didn't Start the Fire"...

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The Obama Song

Ahhhhh...Ahhhhh...Robert Gibbs Moment o' the Day

A new series on the daily press briefings of b. Hussein's rumbling, bumbling, fumbling, stumbling Press Secretary Robert "Ahhhhh" Gibbs....Is this guy for real? Or did he toke up before this press conference about the issue of legalizing marijuana?I'm thinking he's talking about b. Hussein asking people to email him about whether or not he should legalize smoke, but, with Gibbs, it's always difficult to tell what the hell's going on....And just where the hell are Cheech and Chong in these difficult times of humorless reality...

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Ahhhhh...Ahhhhh...Robert Gibbs Moment o' the Day

Regulations Concerning b. Hussein’s Teleprompter - Tenet #3

Notoriously ConservativeAn installment in a recurring series governing TOTUS, the president's teleprompter....TOTUS, I’m beginning to detect a serious stream of Obama-speak spewing from the White House and b. Hussein’s cabinet members.We’ve put great trust in your ability to lead, as not only the president’s linguist but also his intelligence. You have great responsibility to ensure the words he speaks actually say something.Tenet...

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Regulations Concerning b. Hussein’s Teleprompter - Tenet #3

Postal Chief Says Post Office Awash in Cash

WASHINGTON, D.C. - The post office has so much extra cash, it wants to give it to b. Hussein, so he can spend it on more social programs, Postmaster General John Potter told Congress on Wednesday."We are swimming in money at historic proportions. We weren’t paying much attention to our receipts, and voila! found an accounting error that, when corrected, added an extra $2.8 billion to our coffers last year. We were thinking...

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Postal Chief Says Post Office Awash in Cash

Best Political Smackdown - Take 2

Michelle Bachmann, Republican congresswoman from Minnesota, grills tax-cheat Treasury Secretary Tim Geithner yesterday over the constitutionality of his (and b. Hussein's) economic polices:Question: "Secretary Geithner, which clause of the constitution authorizes your actions?"Answer: "Blah blah blah blah blah blah."Although completely different in tone, Bachmann's patient insertion of nails into Geithner's eyes is equally as incredible as this smackdown yesterday of British buffoon Gordon "Cyclops" Bro...

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Best Political Smackdown - Take 2

Regulations Concerning b. Hussein's Teleprompter -- Tenet #2

An installment in a recurring series governing TOTUS, the president's teleprompter....Pay the Messiah compliments.His live love-ins with America are really getting boring, TOTUS. Last night's reality TV was so mundane I could almost hear the paint peeling on the walls behind him.You simply must liven things up for b. Hussein a bit. Intermittently flash little messages on your screen, such as:You sound great tonight, sir, even when you're not reading from my screen.Here's another:I heard only two "ahs" in that last response,...

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Regulations Concerning b. Hussein's Teleprompter -- Tenet #2

Best Political Smackdown - Take 1

Gordon Brown, "you are pathologically unable to accept responsibility" for spending your country into oblivion...What a savage denouncement of the British prime minister...that sounds a lot like what we've already been saying about b. Hussein and his economic polici...

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Best Political Smackdown - Take 1

“Overseas Contingency Operation?” b. Hussein Could Have Done Better

Why stop at something so pedestrian as “Overseas Contingency Operation” in lieu of the term “Global War on Terror”?b. Hussein and his pals could have been much, MUCH more creative, and, in particular, reflective of themselves and their beliefs. I mean, let’s face it: As an acronym, OCO doesn’t have quite the rhythm of GWOT, although the Bush administration apparently also considered dumping their term in favor of GSAVE,...

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“Overseas Contingency Operation?” b. Hussein Could Have Done Better

Regulations Concerning b. Hussein’s Teleprompter – Tenet #1

The president’s teleprompter is alive. It has a blog, two Facebook pages (here's one), a Twitter account, and countless friends and followers. His carbon footprint alone obviously qualifies teleprompter (TOTUS) as a citizen/comrade of this fine nation. Therefore, it is necessary to regulate the hell out of him.I hereby declare the establishment of a series of laws, to be unveiled here in occasional installments, governing...

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Regulations Concerning b. Hussein’s Teleprompter – Tenet #1

b. Hussein Filming Cameo for 24

Apparently, b. Hussein doesn't have enough to do, what with the economy in shambles, a banking system on the verge of collapse, and a socialist agenda the likes Americans have never before seen -- unless they emigrated from Russia, Cuba, South America, Korea, China, or Vietnam.Fresh off his "successful," appearance with Jay Leno, in which he compared his bowling skills to the Special Olympics......now he's going to make a cameo on 24, reading the eulogy at the memorial service for Bill Buchanan.Let's hope he brings his teleprompter....

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b. Hussein Filming Cameo for 24

b. Hussein...Perhaps Your Head's Too Big for Your Shoulders?

I'm tempted to think of a door hitting b. Hussein in the ass, but, in this case, it's more like him hitting the bulkhead in a submarine. (Would it actually knock some sense into him?)Or maybe he's still just too giddy over having his Rolls Royce helicopter.No doubt it has something to do with his Super Arrogance.... Is your head too big for your shoulders, sir?Barack Obama hits his head on helicopter doorby ITNh/t: The lovely Mo...

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b. Hussein...Perhaps Your Head's Too Big for Your Shoulders?

Barack Obama's Teleprompter's Blog

This blog is a friggin' RIOT!From the first post:Well, last night didn't go well. What can I say? I was tired. By the time Barack and the Irish PM stood up, the President and I had already done two major policy speeches, three nomination announcements, and light dinner banter for a table of twelve. And by the way, that "ad lib" last night about Guinness? Mine.So why am I going public now, when for the past two years...

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Barack Obama's Teleprompter's Blog

Obama's GoFrigyourself Could Have Stopped AIG Bonuses

Well...it's just a matter of semantics. The dude had a provision in the stimulus, but the b. Hussein administration said, "make it better," and...poof...AIG bigwigs get to keep their bonuses.This, according to Senate Banking Committee chair Christopher Dodd, the DEMOCRAT, senator from Connecticut. It's as "simple" as this:Embedded video from CNN VideoTo make sense of that garbled nonsense, allow me to explain: b. Hussein and Tim Geithner, tax-cheat secretary of the treasury, had Dodd rewrite his amendment to Porkulus...allowing...

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Obama's GoFrigyourself Could Have Stopped AIG Bonuses

Mexico Sanctions U.S. Exports; b. Hussein Runs up White Flag, Gives Back Southwest

Mexico got tough with the U.S. today, raising tariffs on $2.4 billion in U.S. exports to retaliate for the ending of a pilot program that allowed illegal Mexican day laborers to wait on U.S. curbs for work.President b. Hussein, in his first big trade policy test, immediately wimped out, issuing an executive order that gives a tax break to any American employer who pulls their pickup into the parking lot of a Mexican...

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Mexico Sanctions U.S. Exports; b. Hussein Runs up White Flag, Gives Back Southwest

Your Federal Government Wants You...to GIVE!

NY Congresswoman Carolyn McCarthy shows off the standard issue weapon for members of America’s National Civilian Community Corps, also known as the Obama Youth.January 2, 2014, in a Party school -- mandatory conscription into the National Civilian Community Corps (NCCP) as accorded by law, the Generations Invigorating Volunteerism and Education (GIVE) Act of 2009:YOU!!!! No, don’t turn around and look behind you and...

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Your Federal Government Wants You...to GIVE!

Amazing Transformer "Flashlight" Machine Gun

Here's something completely different, something you don't get to see...or do...every day.Let's say you're taking your dog for a walk. It's late. You've got your "flashlight.""Things get nasty. You can get down to business" ... with the FMG 9 (for 9mm) "security flashlight" folding machine gun.It folds up and fits right in your back pocket. Sadly, it's just a prototype, says Drake Clark, MagPul's PR dude...for now.But...

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Amazing Transformer "Flashlight" Machine Gun