Tuesday, March 3, 2009

You Are Getting Sleepy, Verrryyy Sleepy – Now, BUY MORE STOCK!

Go figure. Our arrogant supreme being of “super intelligence,” otherwise known as the President of the United States, also dabbles in financial advice.

As the Dow Jones dropped yet again, particularly when b. Hussein spoke to reporters this afternoon after huddling with British PM Gordon Jowls Brown to plot a global economic resurgence (takeover?) with their naughty little fetish, the AmeriEuro, the Great Hypnotist proclaimed that stocks are becoming a “potentially good deal” for those willing to hitch up their britches (since they’re home, beltless and unemployed, anyway) and think long term.

Like he is.

At a time when (real) financial advisers are telling people to stay in the market -- BUT make smarter investments (such as tax-free bonds and gold) -- it’s as if b. Hussein, in his sudden new career as Financial Wizard-in-Chief, either is about as dumb as the MSM used to claim W. was or…well…maybe he just wants the market to tank…more.

Since the beginning of the year, the Dow has lost more than 25%, from 9034 on January 2 to today’s close of 6726…a weight-watcher’s dream, a stock-owner’s nightmare (particularly one who is retired or nearing retirement). This is AFTER b. Hussein inherited a year-old recession. The Confident One, naturally, shrugs off such obvious evidence of investor discontent (that’d be from you and me, the people losing our shirts and underpants) with arrogance that borders on friggin’ insult:
The market is sort of like a tracking poll in politics. It bobs up and down, day to day, and if you spend all your time worrying about that, then you're probably going to get the long-term strategy wrong.
Like he is.

While I’m no financial wizard, I’ll bet ole b. Hussein knows a lot about bobbing up and down. And I don’t need to be a financial wizard, or grand hypnotist, to know a crock of (Grade A, Chicagoland) shit when I see and hear it. The WSJ doesn’t either:
The market has notably plunged since Mr. Obama introduced his budget last week, and that should be no surprise. The document was a declaration of hostility toward capitalists across the economy. Health-care stocks have dived on fears of new government mandates and price controls. Private lenders to students have been told they're no longer wanted. Anyone who uses carbon energy has been warned to expect a huge tax increase from cap and trade. And every risk-taker and investor now knows that another tax increase will slam the economy in 2011, unless Mr. Obama lets Speaker Nancy Pelosi impose one even earlier.
Yes, while the market plunges, Goldmember, after a month of speaking little but doom and gloom and malaise to help stocks shudder to a halt, suddenly rams it up our wazoos, as our 401ks dwindle to about 50% of their recent value, getting all Hope-y (like before he had a chance to be the Pres) once again in his rhetoric:
I'm absolutely confident that credit is going to be flowing again, that businesses are going to start seeing opportunities for investment. They're going to start hiring again. People are going to be back to work.
[Presumably after you’re out of office, and we roll back your harlotry, you whore.]

His Genius’ absolute confidence banks, naturally, on bailing out bad mortgages [SATIRE ALERT] made by pressured lenders to bad borrowers as a direct result of government policy.

His Genius’ absolute confidence banks, naturally, on watching cash-strapped (and government-financed) AIG beg for more billions…billions. And it may get worse, much worse, says Fed Chairman Ben Bernanke.

His Genius’ absolute confidence banks, naturally, on rolling back the Bush tax cuts for most Americans and rolling out tax gifts for those who don’t pay any tax at all and tax hikes for the very people with the capital (as in, by their hard work NOT made by the government at the whim of a nitwit) to get the economy moving again, by hiring the unemployed, restarting crippled factories, restoring consumer confidence, and spreading entrepreneurial energy into all aspects of society.

His Genius’ absolute confidence banks, naturally, on the Clintonesque doublespeak of Clueless Tax Cheat Treasurer Tim Geithner, who, like a deranged lunatic, claims that b. Hussein’s Guinness Book of World Records $3.55 trillion budget for 2010, which actually swells the “projected” national debt to $23 trillion, will reduce the federal deficit.

His Genius’ absolute confidence banks, naturally, on such statements as this: "We are cleaning up a mess," b. Hussein’s Bumbling Idiot Press Secretary Robert Gibbs said today. "It's going to be sort of full of fits and starts in terms of getting the mess cleaned up, but it's going to get cleaned up."

To me, that’s a statement of opportunity, if you will, an anti-statement, an acknowledgment that this is a free-for-all, a “what’s mine is mine and what’s yours is mine,” by the Democrats – an admission that this truly is…The Obama Economy.

And I have a sneaking suspicion b. Hussein wants you to buy more now so – as the market plummets and plummets and plummets…another 700 points? another 1000? another 1700? more? – he sits back, smirks arrogantly (as the MSM used to say of W.), and watches chaos unfold.

And maybe then he’ll have us right where he (and the Democrats) wants us.

UPDATE: Hmm...the fastest Dow slide for a new pres in nearly a century. But it's all W's fault!


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