Regulations Concerning b. Hussein’s Teleprompter – Tenet #1

The president’s teleprompter is alive. It has a blog, two Facebook pages (here's one), a Twitter account, and countless friends and followers. His carbon footprint alone obviously qualifies teleprompter (TOTUS) as a citizen/comrade of this fine nation. Therefore, it is necessary to regulate the hell out of him.

I hereby declare the establishment of a series of laws, to be unveiled here in occasional installments, governing TOTUS’ every thought, action, pleasure, and usage. These rules will govern what TOTUS can and cannot do at all hours of the day or night. These rules will govern when the president should assign blame to TOTUS for not being insistent enough to come along on “campaign stops” that sell whatever baffling legislation is pending. And, following POTUS’ lead, these rules will govern whatever general estrangement, disenfranchisement, and amusement I damn well see fit.

Yes, even b. Hussein’s teleprompter should share in the joy of this presidency’s unfolding experiment in socialism. On that note, I give you Tenet#1:

TOTUS should ALWAYS be within arm’s reach of POTUS, particularly when he’s cackling on national TV like a friggin’ loon about causing millions of people to lose their retirement, prompting such appropriate questions as "are you punch drunk?" This way POTUS can always blame TOTUS for displaying a joke that is completely incongruous with the situation.

Oh…and in the effort for objectivity, I think it’s only fair to point out that TOTUS has a list of rules (demands, really) of his own. We'll pick that subject up in more detail another time.