$295.20 billion to 350 financial institutions...and counting.
HEY! Look kids...it's almost time to tap the next $350 billion.
I didn’t come here to be partisan. I didn’t come here to be bipartisan. I came here, as did my colleagues, to be nonpartisan, to work for the American people, to do what is in their interest.I thought it only fair to point out that she's focusing her efforts for change -- helping the president "remake" America -- in the wrong area.
SNUFFLEUPAGUSMATTHEWSTHRILLUPMYLEG: Hundreds of millions of dollars to expand family planning services (I haven’t been able to speak in a complete sentence since Slick Willie surprised me from behind in 1992). That stimulus?
PALOOZA: Well, the family planning services reduce cost. Those damned babies are SUCH a drain on the economy. I mean, really. When you have a baby today your health insurance doesn’t even cover the full ride, and you’re left to pay all of the overages yourself, so you suck up to the government for a handout. Do you know what hospital diapers COST THESE DAYS? It would SO reduce costs on the state. (I don’t have any facts whatsoever to support my claim…but I won…just like the President…so I can say and do whatever the hell I want, right?) The states are in a terrible fiscal budget crisis now…and fewer friggin’ children would SO benefit them now, hell, with what we do for your children’s health, education, and the free lunch program? I mean…you can’t tell me that homeschooling moms and dads actually BENEFIT the country…by paying taxes to school districts and getting crappola in return, while they teach their kids better than your average school teacher with government student loans out the wazoo! Our kids deserve better. They deserve to be managed. From before conception. Hell…one of the initiatives you mentioned, contraception…something I don’t know a lot about, but I’m ready to get behind for the benefit of our national economy…will reduce costs to the states and to the federal government.
‘Cause everyone knows condoms are really expensive and the economy has made it really hard for people to afford them. So the states send them samples, monthly. Do you know what it costs to mail condoms these days?
SNUFFLEUPAGUSMATTHEWSTHRILLUPMYLEG: (Starts crying because he thinks he heard an Obama speech in the background) So, no apologies for that?
PALOOZA: No apologies. We have to deal with the consequences of the downturn in our economy. Fewer mouths to feed means more cash for the federal government. And that’s always a good thing.
Care for some Soylent Green, George? It's new...and young.
Blagojevich, talking about the day of his arrest: "The day unfolded and I had a whole bunch of of thoughts. Of course my children, and my wife. And then I thought about Mandela, Dr. King, Ghandi, and tried to put some perspective in all this."Well...damn, Blago. And I thought you were Mayor Daley (et al).
Nationalizing the banks. We tried that once...Thomas Jefferson pointed out how it's not even Constitutional. NOT that such trivialities friggin' matter anymore.It's a gawd. Awful. Mess.
Creating a government-owned "bad bank" to take the toxic assets off of the bank's balance sheet. Yeah...that's a real great solution. Take on so much debt we'll never recover. That's a real bright idea.
Continuing the Bush Administration rescue plan of pumping in taxpayer money on an as-needed basis. I've been against this one all along: "Money, get back. I'm all right jack keep your hands off of my stack." If TARP has cost us this much so far...when will it ever friggin' end if we go on and on and on with this crap? Why...it friggin' won't.
A nationalization plan would likely wipe out all shareholder equity, including the preferred shares, and turn ownership of the banks over to Uncle Sam. (I'm fine if Uncle Sam...which, right now, happens to be the "preferred shareholder"...gets less money...but what about your average shareholder...you and me?)And this crap:
"If you took a nationalization policy, you would at least create some degree of certainty because now you know the government is going to stand behind these institutions," said Kevin Jacques, 49, a former economist with the Treasury Department. Gov't stand BEHIND something? I get real friggin' worried when the gov't is standing behind me. Don't you Kevin? That's why the Founders gave us this.And this insanity...
This was the 70’s? You would think this was on last week's episode. It does a great job of pointing out the consistency of the democratic party. It is almost scary. I guess it proves the Bible when it says; there is nothing new under the son.Archie Bunker is a classic character...funny, outrageous, and (even 30-plus years later) absolutely friggin' on the money:
Some guy with baseball cap that I guess I'm supposed to know: I pledge.
Stringy-haired Manson girl with creepy gray eyes: I pledge.
Demi Moore: Too-ooo-oo smile more.
Eva Longoria: To laugh more!
Can't quite place her, but think I maybe saw her on a cosmetics commercial once: [intense glare] to LOVE more.
Black Eyed Peas guy: I pledge.
Evita Lopez or Chiquita Gonzalez or something like that: To help children battle with serious illnesses -- by standing here on the far right side of the frame.
Beats the hell outta me: Or here, on the left side of the frame.
Cameron Diaz: Me plemdge.
Nicole Richie: To give up food all together.
Possibly that red-haired chick from Spiderman: To be a great mother.
Some d-bag from that emo band, "Fallout Charlotte" or something, that my daughter was into when she was 11: To be a great father.
Demi Moore: To hire only the best nannies... because all of our children deserve a good nanny.
Lucy Liu: To continue working to support raising awareness as a voice for UNICEF and their international nanny awareness programs.
That witch show chick that used to be on the Tony Danza sitcom: To volunteer my voice coach to give a voice to those who have no voice, so they can have a voice.
I pledge...to eat bullets and glass for the next 4 years...so I can toughen up to pay this lady's mortgage:
I feel prettyThat's all I got for you. I've got to go. They're leading me away (cuffed and chained...YES!). I’m a karma chameleon, and my karma just took a friggin’ turn for the worse.
Oh so pretty
I feel pretty and witty and bright
And I pity
Any girl who isn't me tonight
I feel charming
Oh so charming
It's alarming how charming I feel
And so pretty
that I hardly can believe I'm real
While there is little wrong with Panetta as a person, there is something massively dickish about his complete lack of qualifications for this all-important job. Obama reportedly selected Panetta for his managerial skills, bipartisan standing, and budget experience, all of which should come in pretty handy when searching through desert caves to hunt down al-Qaeda leaders.And then, Dickipedia points out these awesome qualifications:
1969 — Abraham Lincoln Award, National Education AssociationWe should all feel safer tonight, knowing in a week a great dick will be watching over worldly threats to our life, limb, and liberty.
• There wasn’t a single terrorist attack on the U.S. during the Lincoln presidency.
1988 — Golden Plow Award, American Farm Bureau Federation
• What better sign that Panetta will protect the nation’s food supply?
1991 — President's Award, American Council on the Teaching of Foreign Languages
• Terrorists speak in a foreign language. Next.
1991 — Coastal and Ocean Management Award, Coastal Zone Foundation
• America is most vulnerable to attack on the coasts, and Panetta sure as heck manages them well.
1997 — Special Achievement Award for Public Service, National Italian American Foundation
• This is kinda sorta foreign policy experience, right?
2003 — Julius A. Stratton "Champion of the Coast" Award for Coastal Leadership
• Not only does Panetta manage the vulnerable coasts, he’s a champion of them!
Mexican Americans don't like to just get into gang fights they like flowers and music and white girls named Debby, too.
Mexican Americans are named Chata and Chella and Chima have a son in law named Jeff.
Mexican Americans don't like to get up early in the morning but they have to so they do it real slow.
Mexican Americans love education so they go to night school and they take Spanish and get a B.
Mexican Americans love their Nanas and their Nonos and their Ninas and their Ninos, nananononinanino, no no.
Mexican Americans don't like to go to movies where the dude has to wear contact lenses to make his blue eyes brown cause don't it make my brown eyes blue.