I Pledge...To Laugh a HELL of a Lot at This

Celebutante glitterati and their love for Democratic presidents are nothing new. But Iowahawk's Pledge of Obama Allegiance feels so much more satisfying than any ole thrill going up my leg:

Some guy with baseball cap that I guess I'm supposed to know: I pledge.

Stringy-haired Manson girl with creepy gray eyes: I pledge.

Demi Moore: Too-ooo-oo smile more.

Eva Longoria: To laugh more!

Can't quite place her, but think I maybe saw her on a cosmetics commercial once: [intense glare] to LOVE more.

Black Eyed Peas guy: I pledge.

Evita Lopez or Chiquita Gonzalez or something like that: To help children battle with serious illnesses -- by standing here on the far right side of the frame.

Beats the hell outta me: Or here, on the left side of the frame.

Cameron Diaz: Me plemdge.

Nicole Richie: To give up food all together.

Possibly that red-haired chick from Spiderman: To be a great mother.

Some d-bag from that emo band, "Fallout Charlotte" or something, that my daughter was into when she was 11: To be a great father.

Demi Moore: To hire only the best nannies... because all of our children deserve a good nanny.

Lucy Liu: To continue working to support raising awareness as a voice for UNICEF and their international nanny awareness programs.

That witch show chick that used to be on the Tony Danza sitcom: To volunteer my voice coach to give a voice to those who have no voice, so they can have a voice.

I pledge...to eat bullets and glass for the next 4 years...so I can toughen up to pay this lady's mortgage: