Wednesday, August 12, 2009

On My Secret Mission and Skillful Squatters

I have been asked to take on a dangerous mission.

Those who shall remain nameless have implored me to bear sword and shield and harness the team for the Caravan and cross over from friendly red state territory into the evil and treacherous woodlands and hidden rolling valleys of witchcraft and cowflop in blue state territory.

I do not accept this mission lightly. It is quite certain I may never return, for I am told that where I am going there is a high probability that I will be blamed for spray painting swastikas outside the offices of Congressmen who yell at their constituents. Or I may be accused of not being representative of true America. I may even be blamed for pasting posters of Obuggerjoker on mail boxes and light posts and the faces of toll booth operators.

But I am not afraid. I shall accept my responsibility as did the Founders, with the belief that where I am going and what I am doing is imperative to the future of the Republic. My children's grandparents, after all, are members of AARP, and it would be extremely helpful if they help us defeat this evil scroll I call Obuggercare. And some of them need a strong talking to.

This perilous journey, of course, leaves the gates to the mighty ADHD fortress unguarded. Or so it would seem.

It has come to my attention that skillful squatters, some more skillful than I in the arts of fending off and belittling moonbats with mere words crafted into phrases and sentences and, ultimately, devastating paragraphs, have agreed to buttress this burg with much satire, snark, and insanity. And I kneel in their honor for taking on this quest of their own.

So I would ask of you, dear reader, during the next week, while I periodically schedule posts of past ramblings you may not have read (and may not want to read now), that you give these skillful squatters your kindest attention and regard, while commenting aplenty, and verily paying visitation upon their kingdoms as well.

That means, dear reader, I ask that you give innominatus, Mike, and Ross (should he choose to accept this mission) a warm welcome, and the same incredible support against moonbat trollers, and leave the same delightful commentary, that you've always given me.

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