I'm actually going into the real world for the next few days and doing some real work...to feed my minions. I'll be back Sunday or Monday. Same nutty place, same nutty blogger. See you th...
Friday, February 27, 2009
Thursday, February 26, 2009
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
Even the Oldest Zombie Thinks b. Hussein Is Nuts
You know it's a bad day in hell when the Zombie who knows best calls b. Hussein out for his power grab.West Virginia Senator Robert Byrd (and I use the term "senator" loosely), in his own nutty way, railed at the president over his appointment of White House federal policy czars as a power grab by the executive branch. In a letter to b. Hussein, Byrd wrote:As presidential assistants and advisers, these White House staffers...
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
SNARK Double FEATURE!
Houston Lawmakers Caned in Public for Being So StupidHouston Mayor Bill White had all of City Council caned in public this afternoon for even suggesting the city pay off some debts so that first-time homebuyers could own homes.The friggin’ “Credit Score Enhancement Program” would have given up to $3,000 in grants to losers trying to qualify for mortgages through the city’s homebuyers assistance program, even after Rick...
Monday, February 23, 2009
Saturday, February 21, 2009
When the SS Comes to My House…
Next time the sign in Chip Harrison’s car might say something like: “I’m sorry, Mr. Policeman, Mr. Messiah, and Mr. Secret Service Guy. I love babies more than I do the president. I want them to stay and him to go away -- when his term is over…let me make that clear…WHEN HIS TERM IS OVER…OR HE’S IMPEACHED.”If the sign fits in the window.Or maybe it will say something more direct, but legal, such as: “Go Frig Yourself,...
Friday, February 20, 2009
Bumbling Gibbs Responds To Santelli
Hey, Robert...the American people think you're a friggin' jackass illiterate crackpot who's helping drive Wall Street down...down...down...and down.Go frig yourself, and your boss...I'm with Rick Santelli.UPDATE: And Rick responds.Or...a less-caffeinated version:UPDATE II: And CNBC's roundtable discussion on Santelli and the White House response. (P.S. Shhhh! They think Rick is right (as in correct)!UPDATE III: And shithead socialist Keith Olbermann...who took the attack route and misREPRESENTED Santelli's arguments...probably...
25 Friggin’ Random Things About Me That Facebook Doesn’t Own
Earlier this week, Facebook made the bonehead move (I’d say “of the week,” but then the president signed GoFrigYourselfus and trumped all such claims for the foreseeable future) of changing its licensing policy.By posting User Content to any part of the Site, you automatically grant, and you represent and warrant that you have the right to grant, to the Company an irrevocable, perpetual, non-exclusive, transferable,...
Thursday, February 19, 2009
How to Get Fired from the MSM
I applaud CNBC's Rick Santelli's fire and honesty on the subject of Porkulus, but, unfortunately, I suspect he'll soon be selling "miracle products" on TV at 3 a.m. with Vince and Billy Mays:ACTUALLY, I'm quite fond of tea parties. And I've always wondered why so many Americans seem to take government crap up their ass anymore (that's right...the government doesn't crap out...it craps UP your ass).I've heard tell we're lemmings, we're sheep.But...I wonder.Would you be interested in a tea party, t...
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
Great Moments in Al Bundy's Life
And now for something completely different...One of the reasons I no longer watch much TV is...well...I have this friggin' blog to feed.But there's really not much on TV anymore that appeals to me. I can handle a gazillion seasons of Lost, 24, and House for only so long.But Married With Children? I could watch that show forever. Al Bundy is an island unto himself...in Al Gore's twisted world of rising oceans and sinking land masses.Luckily, Uncoached could too, as evidenced by this posting of "Great Moments in Al Bundy and Hot...
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
SILENCE! The Takeover Continues...Bloggers Beware!
Now that the next gold rush...I mean, free-for-all for government cash (that doesn't exist) is on to expand the welfare class again, thanks to b. Hussein's pompous signature of GoFrigYourselfus today, next on the evil Zombies' agenda is the Fairness Doctrine...the outright silencing of talk radio in America.But...HARK!The evil plot has many tentacles (the leathery sound of Zombies rubbing their hands together maniacally...
Monday, February 16, 2009
Promises, Friggin' Promises
Let's count how many times you've screwed 62 million American Zombies out of their votes -- and 240 million of us who didn't or couldn't vote for you -- in two minutes (yeah, b. Hussein...I'm talking about GoFrigYourselfulus):Leave it to bloggers to point this crap out -- meaning, where's the friggin' "objective" media?:1. NO LOBBYISTS IN MY ADMINISTRATION. Umm...I guess Tommy was going to be an errand boy? "Here, Tommy...can you clean up after my puppy, too?" (Well...that's not really in this video, but he said it, and it's...
Sunday, February 15, 2009
Zombies Must Have Dinner Before Porkulus
New York Postb. Hussein, all in a rush to pass that urgent piece of socialist crap I'm lately calling GoFrigYourselfulus, decided the bill wasn't urgent enough for him to stick around bleary D.C. all weekend. He's off to Chicago for a getaway with Mrs. Hussein...Is that GoFrigYourselfulus in her doggie bag?Savoring every morsel, perhaps, before kicking off a zombie econo...
Friday, February 13, 2009
The Adventures of Womb Woman
Narrator: Look. Up in the sky! It’s a UFO! It’s the Goodyear blimp! It’s…WOMB WOMAN!She’s not your average super hero. (With all that frontal weight, she can barely get off the ground and fly, anyway.) Yet, she’s able to transform 6 artificially-inseminated embryos into 8 babies. Why, Womb Woman doesn’t even need, let alone want, a man. (“They’re…like…so hairy and stuff.”)But SHAZAM! can she carry a load in a single...
Thursday, February 12, 2009
(8) Bad Friggin' Decisions
TMZWhat's worse than having no job, mooching off the government and your parents in their three-bedroom house, AND having 6 kids with no father?Having no job, mooching off the government and your parents in their three-bedroom house, having 14 kids with no father, AND ripping off compassionate (read: DUMB!) people.Yes, Nadya Suleman, who TMZ calls "OctoMom," as in this headline (accompanying the above image)... OctoMom...
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
My Plans for the Extra $13 a Week I Get from GoFrigYourselfulus
The Congressional Gods have smiled and come to a tentative agreement to merge Porkulus and son of Porkulus into something you can probably call GoFrigYourselfulus.The highlight? For me? The taxpayer the stimulus is supposed to convince that it’s cool to spend my money again and help get the economy moving back toward the end…I mean black?I’ll get a whopping extra $13 a week in my paycheck. That’s friggin’ AWESOME, Mr. President, dude! I…am…so...stoked. Why, it makes me just want to go out and ask the president a question in...
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
21st Century Man (b. Hussein mix)
Based on “20th Century Man” by the Kinks, one of my favorite friggin’ songs. With apologies to Ray Davies….This is the age of political machinery,A Chicago Way nightmare,The wonderful world of socialism,“Stimulus” defenseless nation bad debt buyout,This is the twenty-first century,But too much coronationIt’s the age of insanity,What has become of Ole Glory and the Constitution.Ain’t got no ambition, I’m just disillusionedI’m...
Sunday, February 8, 2009
Arlen Sphincter: Why I Support Porkulus
I’m Arlen Sphincter, and I wasn’t born into this world. I fell out of a Democrat’s ass…and I’ve been leaving a stain wherever I travel since.I support Porkulus because I’m a dope of epic proportions. Not only did I start my political career as a Democrat, but you have me to thank for the invention of the asinine single-bullet theory in the Warren Commission Report. Being only a paper supporter of the 2nd Amendment and...
Saturday, February 7, 2009
Friday, February 6, 2009
Thursday, February 5, 2009
Hanoi Jane Blogs
Doesn't my hair look GREAT?!?Like. Hi! I’m all excited today! I just started this blog! At 71! Which is so funny, since I'm such a luddite (wow! I didn't even know I knew such big words)...I'm a big fat technophobe. Like. I didn't even start shaving my armpits until my friend showed me how to do that last summer.Like. I also didn’t even google anything until my friend taught me how this past summer…because…well…I'm dumber...
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