Monday, February 2, 2009

Daschole: You’re Just An Ant Under A Magnifying Glass…And You Will Burn

I love it when politicians squirm.

It reminds me of my childhood…and my beloved magnifying glass. I think the ants I torched as a 6-year-old deserve more than politicians. When I die, and no doubt get to burn a little myself, I think the first thing I’ll repent is my treatment of ants.

I think the second thing I’ll bring up is my treatment of politicians…but as one of my good deeds. That should win me a few points upstairs.

Ah yes…the point, indeed. My buddy, Tom Daschole, started to put on the full-court press today to save his diminutive behind. Seems he likes the climate better in D.C., has missed the whiff of power since the South Dakota voters booted his ass in 2004, and wants to avoid going back to the frozen Badlands as much as those ants tried to scurry away from my dead-on death ray.

"I apologize for the errors and profoundly regret that you have had to devote time to them," Daschole wrote in a letter to the Senate Finance Committee (hmm…I thought he was going before a Senate CONFIRMATION committee in a few days).

In true form, chief blithering idiot…I mean White House press secretary Robert Gibbs backed the tax-cheat 150%, uttering the most profound statement of the b. Hussein administration to date:

"Nobody's perfect," said Gibbs. "It was a serious mistake...."

That’s RIGHT!!!!, Bobby. You get a gold star today! And some extra milk and cookies! (Just what stagnant pond did b. Hussein and company pull this dead fish from, anyway? He has less personality than Norman Bates....And...I have to be honest...I like Norman more than I do this cold turd.)

Let me help you out, there, Bobby…and Tommy, if you’re listening: Tommy screwed up. He didn’t pay his taxes…and not just your little old $5,000 or $10,000 avoidance or -- let’s be honest, some people really do make one now and then -- mistake. (What's funny is he can't put the blame off on Turbo Tax...and get away with Geithner did.) Not Tommy. No, Tommy went for $128,000. That’s an important figure. Why, under President b. Hussein’s definition of society, that makes Tommy just about lower middle class.

That’s the definition of the “little guy” here in America. And you know who gets screwed by the IRS (and the friggin’ federal government) more than anyone, right?

Besides that, Americans don't like tax cheats, Tommy.

I know, let's look to the record, to some precedent, from the horse’s ass-mouth himself:

“Make no mistake, tax cheaters cheat us all, and the IRS should enforce our laws to the letter. ” Sen. Tom Daschle, Congressional Record, May 7, 1998, p. S4507.

Let it go, Tommy. Every new administration has a sacrificial lamb…again, he goes with the burning!...and you’re it.

Hope you like your thorax…nice and crisp.

(And I STILL say the "stimulus" lies somewhere within the billions of back taxes owed by Democrats working for the federal government.)


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