Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Limbaugh Dropped from Rams Group; Will Run for President Instead; Letterman, Meanwhile, Apologizes for Olbermann Rape Comments

ST. LOUIS -- Conservative radio talk show host Rush Limbaugh today was booted from a group seeking to buy the St. Louis Rams because fabricated Wikiquotes now constitute rock solid evidence on which the MSM can base race card smear campaigns.

Limbaugh, meanwhile, said on his radio show that he'll take his $450 billion personal war chest -- earned exclusively by the increasingly anachronistic expression "sweat of his own brow" -- and launch a bid for the Republican presidential nomination against Democrat pResident Barack Obama in 2012.

"Folks, I don't even know if he plans to run for a second term; I don't even know if he cares. But I assure you, it would be impossible for a man of such hubris, such incredible narcissism, to park his Cadillac and avoid being president for 4 more years and not make even worse mistakes than he's done during his first year. Folks, I'm here to tell you that, no matter what, ElRusshhhbo is going to put a stop to him, once and for all."

CBS' David Letterman, meanwhile, applauded Limbaugh for his fortitude.

"He's the only man I know who can lose 90 pounds in 5 months and still carry enough ghostly weight to terrify the begeezus out of people. I mean, it's been said that slavery has its merit."

Letterman's monologue, which has taken on a tone of extreme seriousness since he embarrassed his wife by admitting to having affairs with young female staffers, tonight got even more bizarre.

"You know, I've had my share of troubles recently, and I've made some incredible apologies, but I have to say that apologizing for MSNBC's Keith Olbermann has to be one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. I'm talking about Olbermann's recent comments about Roman Polanski. Here, why don't you listen to this, and you'll know what I mean.

"The exact quote is as follows:

Roman Polanski is being hung in effigy by the fascist Christian right, who claim he is the posterboy for what is wrong with the American left. Polanski's crime was no biggie, and if I were in his shoes, I'd hit that, too. Without hesitation. She looked older and was asking for it.

"If you could hear the rest of the report, folks, you'd not even worry about a source. You don't need one. It sounds like something a cartoonish caricature of Olbermann would say, so he therefore said it.

"And I won't even get into why I think LGF's Charles Johnson hates the Easter Bunny."

P.S. But we can get into totally real and not fake stupid quotes made by Democrats.

P.P.S. And where there are some, there are always more great momments in race relations ... by Democrats.

P.P.P.S. Of course, it would help if anyone could even prove Rush's RACIST! statements were real. Maybe it's because CNN and the rest of the MSM are too busy fact-checking anti-Obama jokes to fact-check their own reporting.

P.P.P.P.S. So let's get down to brass tacks: If Limbaugh is such a racist, why does the MSM need fabricated quotes to prove it?

P.P.P.P.P.S. It figures that a bunch of lawyers probably made up the fake quotes. More here.

P.P.P.P.P.P. S. And then Rush Limbaugh spoke.


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