Iowahawk…Where The Hell Have I Been?

I guess I’ve been stuck inside the government’s ass for 5 years and just fell out because, before today, I’d never heard of Iowahawk. Then this popped into my e-mail inbox (without attribution, of course):

It's in the way you dress. The way you boogie down. The way you sign your unemployment check. You're a man who likes to do things your own way. And on those special odd-numbered Saturdays when driving is permitted, you want it in your car. It's that special feeling of a zero-emissions wind at your back and a road ahead meandering with possibilities. The kind of feeling you get behind the wheel of the Pelosi GTxi SS/Rt Sport Edition from Congressional Motors.

All new for 2012, the Pelosi GTxi SS/Rt Sport Edition is the mandatory American car so advanced it took $100 billion and an entire Congress to design it. We started with same reliable 7-way hybrid ethanol-biodeisel-electric-clean coal-wind-solar-pedal power plant behind the base model Pelosi, but packed it with extra oomph and the sassy styling pizazz that tells the world that 1974 Detroit is back again -- with a vengeance.

We've subsidized the features you want and taxed away the rest. With its advanced Al Gore-designed V-3 under the hood pumping out 22.5 thumping, carbon-neutral ponies of Detroit muscle, you'll never be late for the Disco or the Day Labor Shelter. Engage the pedal drive or strap on the optional jumbo mizzenmast, and the GTxi SS/Rt Sport Edition easily exceeds 2016 CAFE mileage standards. At an estimated 268 MPG, that's a savings of nearly $1800 per week in fuel cost over the 2011 Pelosi.

Even with increased performance we didn't skimp on safety. With 11-point passenger racing harnesses, 15-way airbags, and mandatory hockey helmet, you'll have the security knowing that you could survive a 45 MPH collision even if the GTxi SS/Rt were capable of that kind of illegal speed.

A quick Google search brought me to this post on his site. I’m forever changed. Not like Obama change, not perceived change, nor implied change, or, more correctly, deceived change.

Up until today, I was enjoying my novice blogging over the past 2 months as a refreshing distraction from life, work, and the pursuit of … a mortgage payment? I thought I was a little bit funny and was certainly laughing to myself as I wrote little digs about entertainers, politicians, and failed business leaders.

But after spending 5 minutes on Iowahawk’s site today…and then a few more hours this evening, I am…simply…changed. His site is the funniest thing I have ever read, from his posts to his artwork to his section tags to his self-deprecation.

He’s the whole package; I’m a five-year-old just learning how to tell a joke. And for the rest of my life, now, I can’t help but imitate his work.