Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Camelot Princess Moves Right ... to D.C.

Completely unpredictable, unfathomable, and unprecedented, Caroline Kennedy, daughter of assassinated President John F. Kennedy, will seek the open junior New York U.S. Senate seat.

She immediately becomes the front runner, edging out fellow Democrat and philanderer William Jefferson Clinton (a former U.S. president, some time ago, when life was more innocent and...ahem...pure) and a host of no names among as many as 12 candidates to fill the seat vacated by Hillary Clinton.

Republican (in name only) Mayor of New York Michael Bloomberg immediately declared her the winner. “There’s no need for debate here. Caroline’s our man. Really, she is mannish. She has great governing experience, having been class president in high school. And she has the full support of the City of New York. I’ve even waved her iPod tax!”

Kennedy also immediately received endorsement from The New York Times (which is seeking a financial bailout on par with the $15 billion being discussed ad naseum for saving the auto industry...until at least Jan. 1).

Her uncle, Massachusetts Senator Edward Kennedy, said it would be an honor to serve with her.

“She, ah, has the backing of Mass…ah…chussets, and, ah, the Kennedy family. We, ah, think she’ll makea a great, ah, sena…ta. New York will, ah, be very proud to have ha.”

New York Governor David Patterson will appoint the next senator in place of Mrs. Clinton, who has been appointed secretary of state for President-elect Barack Obama.

If selected, Kennedy would serve out the two remaining years of Mrs. Clinton's term then face re-election.


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