Monday, November 17, 2008

“Office of the President Elect”

King-elect Showbama won’t even wait until he gets his jewel-encrusted crown in January to start spinning lies. He’s now set the record for the earliest administrative yarns in history. And he doesn’t even have an administration to order around yet.

Let me count the ways. Already, he’s falsely calling himself “president-elect.” While elected to be the next president, true, he isn’t really “president-elect” until the Electoral College meets December 15 and formally votes to honor the voters' intent back on November 4. It says so right here in the Constitution. You know, that little document that seems to have about as much value these days as used bathroom tissue.

(Now on the matter of my already calling him “King-elect,” I shall invoke my right of literary privilege. After all, Showbama earned the title outright the night he accepted the voters’ will and declared himself Kwisatz Haderach of our desert planet.)

Yes, in true presidential form, he’s already making it up as he goes along. Also in true presidential form, he’s already breaking the law, using a fake presidential seal to spin to his followers and illegally registering a government website. have to wonder when he’ll break out the swastikas and jack boots….

BUT…the bigger faux pas, and a more telling glimpse of King Showbama's character, was his standing at a podium for his first transitional press conference and then broadcasting the first weekly “president-elect” address…on YouTube…under the fictitious title of “Office of the President-elect.” (It says so right there in the upper left corner of Showbama’s website.)

Yes, I know: We need to give his royal highness a chance to take a seat behind the desk in the Oval Office before we start comparing his mistakes with the colossal screw ups of The Decider and his predecessors.

But the fact is a man who was just elected President of the United States should be smart enough to know such an office does not exist, and smarter yet not to go around on the Internet portraying himself as head of said fake office to millions. Unless he intends to be outright false.

Could this be yet another example of his “high IQ”?

A man’s words, and actions, give insight to his intent.

For instance:
  • His statements about creating a gestapo, I mean, civilian police force: “We cannot continue to rely only on our military in order to achieve the national security objectives that we’ve set. We’ve got to have a civilian national security force that’s just as powerful, just as strong, just as well funded.”
  • His statements about playing Robin Hood and stealing from the rich and giving to the poor: “Obama will ask the wealthiest 2% of families to give back a portion of the tax cuts they have received over the past eight years to ensure we are restoring fairness and returning to fiscal responsibility.”
  • His statements about bankrupting the coal industry (which happens to power many of the plants that deliver you that minor little importance called electricity). “So if somebody wants to build a coal-powered plant, they can; it's just that it will bankrupt them because they're going to be charged a huge sum for all that greenhouse gas that's being emitted.”
  • His statements about pulling our troops out of Iraq so fast they won’t have a chance to hear the Evil Doers firing their AK-47s in the air in celebration of gross American cowardice. "Let me be clear: There is no military solution in Iraq. There never was. The best way to protect our security and to pressure Iraq's leaders to resolve their civil war is to immediately begin to remove our combat troops. Not in six months or one year – now."
Yes, “today we begin in earnest the work of making damned sure this country falls down, hard, never to recover, so that the world we leave our children is just a little bit scarier than the one we inhabit today.”

Hell, I shouldn’t even be making up quotes for King Showbama. He’s already done such a good job of making outrageous statements and actions on his own.

Really, you can’t make crap like this up.


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