Saturday, November 8, 2008

Blogging in the ADHD Era

Honoring my intent, I’m open to discussing all things stupid.

So I’m going to get away from prattling on about King Showbama and (to a lesser extent) his evil counterpart, the eunuch, McLame, at least for the next 5 minutes.

I’m told by a fellow blogger (a PAID blogger, I will admit) that my posts are far too long for this medium. My “wit” (I thought it was bile!) is buried in my bullshit. My use of repetition, hyperbole, and overly dramatic writing (techniques that date back to the earliest form of story…um…The Bible) are too-old school for this new, frantic medium.

My use of naming conventions (loud, overblown, capitalization of common words such as, oh, I don’t know, King ShowBAMA!) is…distracting. (My, how I’m going to enjoy gushing forth that name for the next 4 years.)

My windiness overwhelms you.

You, the reader, don’t have enough patience to wait for the point. You’re distracted. You have ADHD. You’re dumb. Or so this line of thinking follows to its logical conclusion.

This whole short and sweet rule prevailing despite the relative breeziness of some popular blogs (maybe they’ve earned the right to blather on and on?):

But, you know, I’m too long. (And I thought the point of a blog was having something to say…even if you have too MUCH to say!)

So, I would like to announce to my followers (all three of you…it says so right there in the right-nav beside us) that I will from this day forth write only one-word posts.

Here are the first three:

Really, though, I'm just kidding....I don't think readers are dumb. Come back for more bile and mockery soon.

Thanks for reading!


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