Help This Virgin Now!

Even crotchety old me has to feel a pang of pity for this poor sap:

"Well guys, here's the deal: I'm 25 years old and still a virgin. Yes, I know, it's pretty weird... I've always been a shy guy, and as time passed I just got too old. To be honest, I'm not quite happy about this, as one would figure.

Actually, I almost lost it once. I had a girlfriend when I was 23. But in the end pretty much nothing happened - she left me for a guy that had more money than I did. I don't think I'm ugly looking, I'm just not good with this kind of stuff. And since then I also have a trauma of sorts."

Give him a few hits so he can get it over with. Help a virgin.