It's Earth Day! Where's Al Gore?

Sources are uncertain of his whereabouts.

Some say he may be stuck on an ice floe with a polar bear. Or he may have taken up residence in an igloo. Truth is, he has been known to sneak away from it all, to sample an odoriferous whiff of cow farts. And there's a persistent rumor he's recently developed an interest in inducing a volcano in Knoxville because they burn cleaner than jet fuel.

Meanwhile, some say he and Michael Mann may have been seen taking turns pleasuring themselves with Mann's hockey stick while watching a personal copy of the Hide the Decline video Mann had pulled yesterday from YouTube:

6 Video no longer available. Check and mate, crackers.

Posted by: Michael Mann at April 21, 2010 10:46 AM (muUqs)

Or maybe he's just hiding in an office somewhere, surfing his innerwebz and reading about all the cash he stands to make from the sale of carbon credits. One thing is certain, he's probably not following those who, terrified by his lies, have taken a hysterical leap into the great abyss.

So, in honor of Al Whore, let's revisit what will from this day forth be known as my annual Earth Day post, and perpetuate the truth of ...

Al Gore’s Mammoth Contribution to "Global Warming"

An aerial view of Al Whore's carbon-spewing home.

Re-posted from April 24, 2009.

It’s only fitting that today, just two days after Earth Day (and Lenin's birthday), when former Vice President Al Gore testified before Congress in hearings on a “climate change” bill shamelessly purporting to curb greenhouse gasses but really disguising (that is, to most American sheeple) “cap and trade” taxation of your energy consumption, we should remember who lives in a glass house.

Or rather, a big-honkin’ carbon-spewing global-warming behemoth from which only Mr. Whore can toss erroneous truths while ignoring his own. This is not a new story, but it’s an important one, and needs retelling…again and again and again.

Remember the 2007 email going around?

LOOK OVER THE DESCRIPTIONS OF THE FOLLOWING TWO HOUSES AND SEE IF YOU CAN TELL WHICH BELONGS TO AN ENVIRONMENTALIST.

HOUSE #1:

A 20-room mansion (not including 8 bathrooms) heated by natural gas. Add on a pool (and a pool house) and a separate guest house all heated by gas. In ONE MONTH ALONE this mansion consumes more energy than the average American household in an ENTIRE YEAR. The average bill for electricity and natural gas runs over $2,400 per month. In natural gas alone (which last time we checked was a fossil fuel), this property consumes more than 20 times the national average for an American home. This house is not in a northern or Midwestern “snow belt,” either. It’s in the South.

HOUSE #2:

Designed by an architect professor at a leading national university, this house incorporates every “green” feature current home construction can provide. The house contains only 4,000 square feet (4 bedrooms) and is nestled on arid high prairie in the American southwest. A central closet in the house holds geothermal heat pumps drawing ground water through pipes sunk 300 feet into the ground. The water (usually 67 degress F) heats the house in winter and cools it in summer. The system uses no fossil fuels such as oil or natural gas, and it consumes 25% of the electricity required for a conventional heating/cooling system. Rainwater from the roof is collected and funneled into a 25,000 gallon underground cistern. Wastewater from showers, sinks, and toilets goes into underground purifying tanks and then into the cistern. The collected water then irrigates the land surrounding the house. Flowers and shrubs native to the are blend the property into surrounding rural landscape.

House #1, located outside of Nashville, Tennessee, is Gore’s.

House #2, on a ranch near Crawford, Texas, was W’s. (The Bushes have since moved to Dallas.)

Let’s just remember, then, as the Whoremeister himself claims, that people with large carbon footprints like his own are fouling our atmosphere with filth, trapping the sun’s blistering rays, melting the fragile polar ice caps, raising the treacherous seas, triggering irreversible damage to the ecosystem, and hurtling our endangered planet toward an environmental Armageddon that (his own website claims) one in three children fear is inevitable.

Then, let’s look at what happened after Gore’s ridiculous truth got out, thanks to a June 2008 report from the Tennessee Center for Policy Research:

In the year since Al Gore took steps to make his home more energy-efficient, the former Vice President’s home energy use surged more than 10%, according to the Tennessee Center for Policy Research.

“A man’s commitment to his beliefs is best measured by what he does behind the closed doors of his own home,” said Drew Johnson, President of the Tennessee Center for Policy Research. “Al Gore is a hypocrite and a fraud when it comes to his commitment to the environment, judging by his home energy consumption.”

In the past year, Gore’s home burned through 213,210 kilowatt-hours (kWh) of electricity, enough to power 232 average American households for a month.

In February 2007, An Inconvenient Truth, a film based on a climate change speech developed by Gore, won an Academy Award for best documentary feature. The next day, the Tennessee Center for Policy Research uncovered that Gore’s Nashville home guzzled 20 times more electricity than the average American household.

Today, meanwhile, Gore implored Congressional members of the Energy and Commerce Committee to pass the “American Clean Energy and Security Act,” a Waxman-Markey bill:

Passage of this legislation will restore America's leadership of the world and begin, at long last, to solve the climate crisis.... It is truly a moral imperative.

And from the WSJ:

I believe this legislation has the moral significance equivalent to that of the civil rights legislation of the 1960’s and the Marshall Plan of the late 1940’s.

Amazingly, no one at the hearing burst out laughing from the sheer ridiculousness of his statement. Oh...and just to make it even more hilarious, Democrats didn’t allow balance in today’s testimony.

Want to know what's REALLY funny, though?

During last month’s “Earth Hour,” when people the world over turned their lights off for an hour to conserve energy, Mr. Whore’s house was lit up like the sun.

It appears his hypocrisy knows no bounds. The man's carbon footprint is so big it's a wonder the city of Nashville hasn't declared his mansion a third-world country (for all we know, it might resemble one inside). Yet, it's a moral imperative that the federal government tax you and me into oblivion so that we use less energy and raise more federal revenue.

So...I think I'll go out and burn off a few tankfuls of regular unleaded (you know, with all the impurities) this weekend in my F-150, leave the big-screen TV and all the house lights on, and see if I can spew smoke from a few cigars into the atmosphere.

In honor of the Whoremeister, of course.