Next week entrepreneurs in China will launch a new gentlemen’s club, Obama Club Shanghai. Officials say pResident Barack Obama has no involvement in the club’s operations, but some uncanny similarities to the Obama Regime should give rise to healthy suspicion.
Sources indicate that:
George Soros is a major investor.
Andy Stern is retiring as president of SEIU so he can run the club’s VIP area, The Boardroom. Goldman Sachs CEO Lloyd Blankfein, meanwhile, will be a frequent visitor and has donated a million dollars for the club’s grand opening.
The Boardroom will feature a putting green. Obama's look alike will give special performances, hitting Titelist balls into the cup while a slide show of the world descending into chaos streams in HD on a 10-foot screen behind him as Nero's Fiddle by Clutch blares from the club's sound system.
Joe Biden has been hired as the club’s first featured entertainer. He’ll dress in drag and sing such classic hits as "This Is a Big F$^kin' Deal" and "He’s an Articulate and Bright and Clean and Nice-looking Guy."
Dancers will be required to wear sleeveless dresses and boob belts and have hips so large they can catch hula hoops. Oprah, who is retiring from television, will be the first featured dancer.
To enter the club, patrons will need to submit their income tax return. Middle class people will immediately get taxed a mandatory 40 percent tip. Businessmen will have to surrender their salary and bonus and the reigns to their company. Low-rent customers who declare themselves present and demonstrate community organizing experience will get a Nobel Peace prize based on their grossly exaggerated potential.
Bowing to the doorman exempts anyone from needing to prove their level of income.
The club will serve a nightly list of salt-free special entrees called Obama’s Picks, including dishes like Rahm's Finger Surprise and Michelle's Lead Salad and Barry's Bitter Pill Delight. Servers will dress up like Obama Regime czars. Every Friday will be date night; management will pick up the tab of anyone who orders from the Obama’s Picks menu.
Sundays will feature giveaway night. Patrons will receive free gas, mortgage payments, and healthcare for life.
Anyone who refuses to visit the club will be branded a racist, extremist TEA Party sympathizer, to be rounded up and sent to Gitmo and never heard from again.