An occasional series on people of the political zeitgeist who curiously look like someone, or something, else...Bat BoyCalifornia Rep. Henry "The Thing" WaxmanI really think not...h/t: I...
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
White House Announces New Pencil-pushing Standards
WASHINGTON -- Aiming to keep the focus on creating out-of-control bureaucracy, President Barack Obama put a plug in for administration efforts to make pencil-pushing more overwhelming while using less energy."I know pencil-pushing may not seem sexy, but this simple action holds enormous promise because 97 percent of our future economy in America depends on having the most efficient bureaucratic tools as we take over more businesses and create more government offices," the president said, standing alongside Energy Secretary Steven...
Monday, June 29, 2009
Court Rules for White Firefighters over Promotions
Well...it can't be very good for a judge to go before a hearing to be confirmed to the U.S. Supreme Court knowing your peers think your work friggin' sucks: WASHINGTON -- The Supreme Court ruled Monday that white firefighters in New Haven, Conn., were unfairly denied promotions because of their race, reversing a decision that high court nominee Sonia Sotomayor endorsed as an appeals court judge. New Haven was wrong to scrap a promotion exam because no African-Americans and only two Hispanic firefighters were likely to be made...
Dumbass Shoots Friend Wearing Bulletproof Vest
I can't decide which one is the bigger dumbass...the one doing the shooting, the one wearing the vest, or the one filming this.Is there any wonder legitimate gun owners get a bad rap?Be smart. Don't EVER friggin' do this. (And don't open this at work without headphones).EMBED-Bulletproof Vest Test Goes Wrong - Watch more free videosh/t: Notoriously Conservat...
Sunday, June 28, 2009
Friday, June 26, 2009
8 Republican Assholes Who Helped Cap and Trade Pass the House
Courtesy of tophat9000 at free.republic.comOnce there were 8 RINOs in the House of Representatives who wanted to tax you even more than you already are in the name of some fictional assholery called "Global Warming," a scheme that was hatched (by snakes) for nothing more than to transfer enormous parts of your freedom and wealth to that great frontier of trustworthiness and piety and "your best interest" -- good ole...
Thursday, June 25, 2009
Big Gay Ice Cream Truck
This is the one Obugger sneaks off to all by himself, leaving the girls at home with Mobama. He tells them he's going golfing...along the Appalachian Trial.The Big Gay Ice Cream Truck's location?Argentina.Bill Clinton and Mark Sanford are meeting Obugger there for a cone and a threesome (golfing, you dirty-minded bastard!) on Saturday, to celebrate cap-and-tax getting through the House on Friday.Joy!h/t: Bits & ...
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
Flies Revolt, Swarm White House
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Billions of flies descended on the nation’s capital this morning, torching entire neighborhoods, looting businesses, and swarming the White House in a revolt against President Barack Hussein Obama’s brutal public execution of a fly last week.The riots began early during rush hour. Hordes of flies could be seen flying low to avoid detection by radar in squadrons from all directions, carrying either...
Monday, June 22, 2009
Sunday, June 21, 2009
ABC Strokes the Mighty One’s Ego
I have a confession to make…i always wanted to be a journalist. I actually went to school to learn the profession, sitting through hours of riveting classes like Bias 101 and 202 and 303; Republicans Bad, Democrats Good; and Fundamentals for the Party Mouthpiece. It was a swell time.As a working journalist, I immediately recognized that for some of my peers it didn’t matter who was right or wrong, just as long as they...
Friday, June 19, 2009
A Letter to Barbara Boxer
A friend from Pittsburgh wrote this letter today and sent it to the ma'am (I won't even give the conniving little weasel the pleasure of me calling her "senator"), while also emailing me with permission to print it here: Dear Barbara,You have no right to criticize a distinguished member of our military, a man who has put his life on the line for you and for me (which, I dare say, you haven't), simply because he used one honorific instead of another for you. Furthermore, you have not *earned* the title senator; simply because...
Thursday, June 18, 2009
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
The Money You Could Be Saving...
...if Obugger weren't president.Really, it should read:The money you won't be saving 20 years after Obugger leaves the White House..."...and his chickens come home to roost," to quote the Rev. "God-Damn America!" Wright.But for now, even the little things like my $13 a week "tax cut" that will go away next year when the (real) Bush tax cuts aren't renewed...and cap and trade...and sin taxes on the contents of my liquor...
Monday, June 15, 2009
Politicians Share Personality Traits With Serial Killers
Name 6 things your favorite (or least favorite) politician has in common with serial killers:Superficial charmGrandiose sense of self-worthGlibnessPathological lyingLack of remorseManipulation of othersAnd the work of Jim Kouri, veep of the National Association of Chiefs of Police, gets even better. Politicians are also guilty of this:The affective traits include a lack of remorse and/or guilt, shallow affect, a lack of empathy, and failure to accept responsibility. The lifestyle behaviors include stimulation-seeking behavior,...
Sunday, June 14, 2009
FAIL! FAIL! FAIL!
Reportage and commentary by Gonzo First Dog BoThe situation’s become pretty hairy. I think they may be coming unglued. The president’s always talking about wearing one of Phil Spector’s old shock wigs and seeing if anyone recognizes him. Geithner’s been running around marveling about how cool it is that America now has the historical distinction of employing more czars than the Russian Empire. TOTUS, meanwhile, stands...
Saturday, June 13, 2009
Obugger's Wealth Share...um...Health Care
Click to enlarge. And find the rest over here.Got my ration book? Check.Got my cash? Check.Got health care? "We regret to inform you, Mr. ADHD, that your rations are no longer in good standing, do to your failure to check box 7,942 on Form HSO, part 713, section 600,401, paragraph 97, subparagraph 842, bullet X47d12, question 345,211: "Your shoe size." Your inadequacy has been reported to the Board of Rations for your...
Friday, June 12, 2009
Ahmadinejad Doesn't Need a New Job
At least his state media claims he doesn't.That's too bad.I was very much looking forward to saying goodbye to his anti-Semitism, fear-mongering, and thumbing his nose at America.I guess, I can, however, appreciate that he will continue to stick it to Obugger (though he really should leave that to us, since he's ours...unfortunatel...
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
Mr. Disaster-Enabler, Sir: Meet the Lovely Miranda
We'd like you to meet the lovely Miranda.While you're together, you don't have to talk about this.Or this.Or even when you did things like this.While you're together, if you want, you CAN talk about things like this.And how much you disliked this guy.And how much you really, REALLY don't like this.Because...it's really all relative what you know and what you don't and how much you want to hurt us. That's all water under the bridge. We're your friends now.And if you really, really hit it off with Miranda, we'll even give you...
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