Obmacare Will Save Me a Ton of Money!

Excuse me while I move some files from the Word Press site over here so I can delete that thing forever. If you didn't see this before, now's your chance!

Previously published 12/21/2009

Right now I have terrible health insurance for my family of four ADHD-addled lunatics (your arrogant narrator included) because my company makes Mr. Scrooge look like Mr. Benevolent.

But I do have health insurance.

I pay about $350 a month for a “low premium” plan, or in essence I pay for the right to have a high in-network deductible, $3,500 per individual and $7,000 per family. In other words, aside from getting free oxygen and often free germs when one of us visits the doctor, I pay ALL of my healthcare costs … in addition to the right to have insurance if I have a heart attack or one of my kids falls out of a tree (which is why I’ve sold all the ladders and sheared all of the low-hanging limbs from the trees around the homestead and threatened to sell my children to the King of the Moonbat Zombies — their term for Obama — if they ever break a bone).

Yeah. I’m a dictator, but that’s one of the few benefits of being a dad.

(I chose the plan over the HMO fuckery my company also offers — $700 a month premium, with $1,500 individual and $4,500 family deductibles — because healthcare expenses typically don’t go above $1,500 for our entire family in a given year.)

I also put away about $200 a month in a health savings account to cover normal medical expenses like trips to the doctor for colds and for purchasing medicine and for buying lottery tickets, and then rollover what we don’t spend annually, earning something like .0000000002 percent interest, a Ben Bernanke special.

So, all told, my happy little family, during a given year, spends about $8,100 on healthcare, when you add up the premiums (or the right to a high deductible) and health savings account deductions from my earnings and actual healthcare expense payouts. That’s about four times more than we spend on, say, actually taking time to have a nice vacation and relax and forget for 17 seconds that we’re slaves to just about everything except the pursuit of our own life, liberty, and happiness.

Now.

Under Obamacare (or, at least, under the Senate version that will pass on Christmas Eve) I’ll be paying $13,100 come the year 2016 just for family health insurance.

I guess, according to Joe Biden logic, that’s spending money … so the government doesn’t go bankrupt.

But here’s the kicker … beginning in 2014, the federal penalty for not buying health insurance will be $95 and increase to a little under 2 percent of my income come 2016; the House version of this insanity bumps the penalty for ignoring the un-Constitutional mandate up to 2.5 percent of my income in 2013.

So…

If the House and Senate penalties against me for telling them to shove Obamacare up their money-looting asses come in somewhere around $6,000 to $7,000 less than what it costs me now for healthcare, and some $11,000 to $12,000 less than what it will cost me when Obamacare kicks in … I have just one blessed thing to say:

Thanks, Obama. You just saved me a hell of a lot of money!