Friday, December 31, 2010

Happy New Year, You Basterds

May 2011 see more routing of Democrats. May your resolutions become realities. May you send Barack Obama wicked thoughts that cause him to go terminally insane. Our future depends on it.

Happy New Year


Image via Moonbattery
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Monday, December 20, 2010

McConnell Killed by Rogue Vegetables


WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Sen. Mitch McConnell (RINO, Ky) was killed today when a rabble of angry vegetables swarmed him outside the Russell Senate Office Building.

Killer tomatoes ripped McConnell limb from limb and fed him to locally grown corn and cucumbers after McConnell turned traitor and helped Democrats pass the Food Safety Bill, outlawing the sale of locally grown vegetables and fruits at food stands.

Local farmers stood by as the vegetables raged, cheering and holding signs with slogans such as “An Ear of McConnell for an Ear of Corn” and “My Squash, Your Face.”

Last year, more people were killed by automobile accidents, heart attacks, lung cancer, and natural causes combined than by any one tomato,” said one local farmer, adding that one turncoat senator is far more dangerous than the risk any homegrown vegetable poses to the average American.

When told the bill would ruin their chances for school field trips to local fruit stands, children visiting the Capital Building raided a Whole Foods market and pelted McConnell’s remains with Brussel sprouts.

Said one particularly rotund pumpkin from Maryland who joined in the fray, in between bites from one of McConnell’s arms, “This gives a whole new meaning to the saying, ‘Eat Local.’”
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Wednesday, November 17, 2010

The New TSA Theme Song

Try it.

Sing the chorus of this song the next time Big Sis' goons want to pat your crotch and grab your breasts to see if you, a law-abiding American citizen, are planning to blow up an airplane.

See how long they continue to grope us for no other reason than to give Janet Napolitano a hard on.



Do you wanna touch (Yeah)
Do you wanna touch (Yeah)
Do you wanna touch me there, where
Do you wanna touch (Yeah)
Do you wanna touch (Yeah)
Do you wanna touch me there, where
There, yeah

Yeah, oh yeah, oh yeah
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Wednesday, November 3, 2010

Obama Gets Lovin' Despite Historic Midterm Smackdown

The Loser in Chief may have lost his mandate last night, when the American people responded to him calling them "the enemy" by firing The Wicked Witch of Congress and her Merry Band of Congresscriminals.

But all is not lost! At least Zero is getting some good lovin' today overseas.


Only problem is, the doll with his likeness is not anatomically correct.

His head's not up his ass.

And, anyway, he wouldn't know what to do with all those white women if he had an instruction booklet.

Hey! I wonder if, instead, he'll be getting it on with The Official Democratic Party Blow-up Doll.


But maybe not, since last night pretty much assured that Democrats aren't going to be having any fun for a very long time, let alone getting laid. In fact, they may all be better off lying down and going to sleep in the new symbol for the Democratic Party.


Bring out yer dead!
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Friday, October 22, 2010

You RWE Bastards Are All Just Mentally Deranged


That's right. All you right wing extremists have a mental disorder, Anxiety-induced Obama Underappreciation Syndrome.

Or so says the Supreme Dickhead himself, president Zero, a man handed a potential dynasty on a silver platter only to promptly fuck it up so badly he'll see his majority run over in less than two weeks like a retarded deer frozen by the headlights of a tank.

Yes, there IS a God.

Writes Charles Krauthammer:
President Obama has come up with something new, something less common, something more befitting his stature and intellect. He's now offering a scientific, indeed neurological, explanation for his current political troubles.

The electorate apparently is deranged by its anxieties and fears to the point where it can't think straight. Part of the reason "facts and science and argument does not seem to be winning the day all the time," he explained to a Massachusetts audience, "is because we're hard-wired not to always think clearly when we're scared. And the country is scared."

Opening a whole new branch of cognitive science — liberal psychology — Obama has discovered a new principle: The fearful brain is hard-wired to act befuddled, i.e., vote Republican.

But of course. Here Obama has spent two years bestowing upon the peasantry the "New Foundation" of a more regulated, socially engineered and therefore more humane society, and they repay him with recalcitrance and outright opposition. Here he gave them ObamaCare, the stimulus, financial regulation and a shot at cap-and-trade — and the electorate remains not just unmoved but ungrateful.

Faced with this truly puzzling conundrum, Dr. Obama diagnoses a heretofore undiscovered psychological derangement: anxiety-induced Obama Underappreciation Syndrome, wherein an entire population is so addled by its economic anxieties as to be neurologically incapable of appreciating the "facts and science" undergirding ObamaCare and other blessings their president has bestowed upon them from on high.

Trouble is, Zero's diagnosis is like a Dingy Harry quote: But for him we'd be taken over by Predator and Alien by now. They're both cut from the same cloth: the clinically insane.

Krauthammer, naturally, dashes Zero's veneer-thin ill-logic, as would anyone with half a brain (Note: There are no requirements for any brain wave activity whatsoever to be elected to higher office in America).
The story of the last two years is as simple as it is dramatic. It is the epic story of an administration with a highly ideological agenda encountering a rising resistance from the American people over the major question in dispute: the size and reach and power of government and, even more fundamentally, the nature of the American social contract.
In other words, the peasants, we the serfs of Dear Lord Obama the Incompetent, have had quite enough, thank you very much.

Somehow this isn't what Zero meant when he said "we are the ones we've been waiting for" on the night of his election ... unless he meant that he and his merry band of thieves are the ones we've been waiting to send back home with extreme prejudice, for good, beginning Nov. 2, 2010.

Speaking of which, I've a little limerick for you...
There once was a man named Barack

Who conned sheep into believing he was Spock

But then his policies tanked

And the sheep realized he stank

So all his buddies in Congress got kicked off the block
I know. It isn't dirty.

But aren't you proud of me for not cursing in the same sentence in which I mention The Liar in Chief? Oh. Shit. I just re-read the first graph of this post.

Fuck it.

The Asshole in Chief deserves my foulflinging fingers.

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Saturday, September 11, 2010

REPOST: 9/11 Remembrance -- Andrew Alameno -- Project 2996

The memorial pages dedicated to the victims of September 11, 2001, speak to the lives of the 2,996 people who died that day, but mostly they speak to their loss and to what they are not here to witness today.

One of the memorial pages for Andrew Alameno, 37, who worked as a trader in the North Tower of the World Trade Center, certainly is like that:
Andy you are missed and I think about you often. God Bless your family.

Andy, I wish we had the chance to get together with the families like we talked about. I think of you often and hope you did not suffer. God Bless you and your family forever. Your buddy Rich from Mt. Saint Mary's.
As is this statement, from another memorial page about him:
Andy, I miss you so much words cannot describe it. You were my cousin and I love you. Sally, Joe, and Nina look great, but I know they miss you more than anything in this whole world. Joe looks so much like you, he is adorable. Rest in peace.
It’s the kind of thing that we should remember today and always, right in the center of our being, and keep remembering, right next to our thoughts about where the kids have to be today or what project deadline is looming or what time our favorite team is playing football on Sunday…because there are 2,996 people who died on September 11th who don’t have the opportunity to have those kinds of thoughts today, who haven’t seen their kids grow up, who never got to grow older with their wives or husbands or see their fiancé on their wedding day … and who never got the chance to become the people they now would be.

Mourn their loss and honor their loss and remember their loss. It’s the only way to keep this day alive for years to come.

With that, let’s remember Andrew Alameno, in a profile written by William Kleinknecht, in THE STAR-LEDGER, found here:
The sun was rising in a clear blue sky and America was still at peace when Andrew Alameno of Westfield said goodbye to his wife, Sally, and their two children on the morning of Sept. 11. He headed for his job as a money market trader at the World Trade Center.

Sally Alameno said she had no idea she would never see her husband again. The news that her world was turning upside down came to her within minutes after the first hijacked plane struck the North Tower of the trade center.

"Someone called me on my cell phone as I was driving my son home from kindergarten and told me what happened," she said. "I raced home and turned on the television."

What she and millions of other television viewers saw were flames licking out of the upper floors of the North Tower. Mr. Alameno, 37, worked as a trader for Cantor Fitzgerald Securities, a firm on the 105th floor of the tower, above the inferno.

After the collapse of the buildings, Sally Alameno's brother was in Manhattan and went through all the crisis centers and filed a missing person report, until the family gradually gave up hope.

Sally Alameno said her husband's chief hobbies were his two children, Joseph, 5, and Nina, 2, and his regular golf outings. But she said what distinguished him most as a man was how much he was loved by others.

"He was the most wonderful father," Sally said, "and loved by everyone. I can't believe how many people have come by here and been in touch with us."
Read about other victims at Project 2996.
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REPOST: 9/11 Remembrance -- James Walsh -- Project 2996

Back when life was a lot more simple and my view of the world was a lot less clear, September 11th happened.

Then everything changed, for obvious reasons.

Eight years later [nine as of this reposting] I still don't have the words to describe what that day was like, how I felt then, or what it means now.

I do know I am not the same....

On the one year anniversary of that day, the university I then worked at asked employees to plant an American flag on the lawn of the Cathedral of Learning, one for each of the nearly 3,000 people who died that day.

I picked the flag bearing the name (taped upon the wooden dowel shaft) of James Walsh, from Scotch Plains, New Jersey, who died in the destruction of One World Trade Center. In the last 7 years, I've moved three times to two different states, hauling everything I own some 2,500 miles. James Walsh's flag has always gone with me; I see it every day on display in my home even now.

I picked James Walsh to honor today when I found out about Project 2996, which is dedicated to remembering the people who died that day.

Here is the touching tribute previously published in The Star-Ledger, found here.
When Kathleen Walsh Karlen adopted her son Connor from Korea -- a 2-year-old who found the transition from East to West sometimes unbearable -- it was his Uncle Jim who could calm Connor's emotional storms.

No one in the family was surprised. Jim Walsh was the fun uncle, the friend everyone wanted to hang with, the nice guy with the big heart who was never afraid to show it, said another sister, Carol Walsh Murphy.

"I'm sure everyone who was lost at the World Trade Center has somebody who says they are a great guy, but to call Jimmy great sells him short," Murphy said. "He was fun and funny, and at the same time, he taught us all how to be a little more loving."

James Walsh, 37, didn't make one last call to his family from the 104th floor of One World Trade Center, where he worked as a computer programmer for Cantor Fitzgerald, but his family said it didn't matter, "because he said 'I love you' every way possible, every day of the year."

He said it in the way he read books every night to his daughter, Caroline, who turned 2 the day the Twin Towers crashed to earth.

When news came that the Scotch Plains resident was missing, boys he knew in high school in Westfield and people who remembered him from King's College in Wilkes-Barre, Pa., called to help.

Sean McDonough, from Montgomery, Pa., recalled him in an e-mail: ". . . His friends in Pennsylvania and around the country have been warmed by his presence and will miss him terribly . . . He loved being a dad and through his relationship with Caroline, he showed me a way to be a better parent with my kids.

"We are left with the void of the thousands of people like Jim Walsh who died last week," McDonough added, "but I will tell everyone who listens about my friend Jim and how much he meant to me and my life."

In addition to his daughter, Mr. Walsh is survived by his wife, Kate; his parents, Frank and Mary Lou of Spring Lake; two brothers, Thomas of Westfield and Peter of Spring Lake; and two sisters, Kathleen Walsh Karlen of Woodbridge, Va., and Carol Walsh Murphy of Tampa, Fla.

Profile by Judy Peet published in THE STAR-LEDGER.
Really, there is nothing more I can add to what Ms. Peet wrote, except that...I will always make sure, wherever I live, James Walsh's flag will have a place in my home.

Here is a memorial page set up to remember him. Please visit and leave a kind message.

Later today, I'll be posting a second remembrance about Andrew Alameno, who also died in the World Trade Center.

UPDATE: If you get a chance, please visit Exblogitate for an excellent compilation of Allahpundit's eyewitness remembrances of that terrible day.
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Wednesday, September 1, 2010

"Get Your Fucking Hand Off Me!"


You just know that's what he was thinking.
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Friday, August 6, 2010

FYADHD Named Top 40 Conservative Blog


Well this was a big fooken surprise.

Apparently while I was busy being absent most of the time over the past two months, you readers ... you crazy beautiful racist teabagging mongrels you, everyone ... secretly (WITHOUT MY DAMNED PERMISSION!) nominated FYADHD for the 2010 Top Conservative Blog Award sponsored by BestBloggers and Online Phd Programs (I'll take a Masters in Snarkology, thank you very much).

Break out the KKK hats!

Get yer racist Tea Party signs!

Send Harry Reid a brain and Barack Obama a plane ticket home and Nancy Pelosi an inflatable raft with a pin hole and tell her she's been awarded a vacation on the Pacific.

I'm humbled, you bastards, especially since I've recently posted with the regularity of a job that's been saved or created.

And apparently I need to get busy with yer daily fill of snark. I'll do my best, but you know that already, otherwise you wouldn't have been so fooken incredible to get FYADHD on this list.

I'll forever be grateful.

JUST. DON'T. DO. IT. AGAIN!
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Friday, July 30, 2010

Obama First Worthy Bow

Finally, Obowma pays deference to someone with far more class, far more balls to tackle real fiscal problems instead of avoiding them on the golf course ... finally Zero bows to someone who deserve it, NJ Gov. Chris Christie:

H/T: Cubachi
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Wednesday, July 28, 2010

A Whole Lot of Estrogen Going On


C'mon, I dare you to find the dood in the photo. Our dear POSOTUS even crosses his legs like a girl.
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Thursday, July 15, 2010

Periodic Table of Swearing

From the twat of the twat, Grumpy Old Twat

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Wednesday, July 14, 2010

Well I'll Be Dipped in Oil!


Because it sure looks like Mobama just was.
U.S. First lady Michelle Obama flashes two thumbs-up to the crowd, as she is introduced by Panama City Beach Mayor Gayle Oberst, on Panama City Beach, Florida July 12, 2010. Obama visited the area to show support for the people and businesses impacted by the BP Deepwater Horizon oil spill. Reuters.
Via Weaselzippers. H/T @CrackaCrib
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Sunday, July 11, 2010

The CrackaCrib Spangled Banner


I saw this tweeted today on Twitter and just couldn't help but share it with my fellow crazy crackers out there (courtesy @CrackaCrib):

O say can't you see that my crib's got your life
What you sleep through @ night'll be your undoing.
With broad stokes of my pen, through the force of my bills
O'er you I will rule, your minds no longer thinking
And with my badass stare
My middle finger in the air
I'll give you proof aright
About the constituion I don't care
O say does your conscience even know how close I am
To destroying what you call free and deleting what you can't save.
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Saturday, July 3, 2010

SHHHHH! I'm on a Secret Mission...

... so close to this ...

Via IOTW

... I can almost smell the stench. It's dangerous. If they catch me, I may never make it back safely to the red states. But I'm carrying the flame of the good guys, and I just might set the bastards on fire if they try to grab me.

If I'm not back by Wednesday, you can consider me captured and have my full permission to invade the District of Criminals to free me. Bring plenty of beer; Zero's already imbibed everything north of the Tennessee border.

This blog post will self destruct long after Zero's pResidency does.
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Monday, June 28, 2010

Robert Byrd Dies, Named KKK Grand Dragon of Hell

Senator Robert C. Byrd (D-WV) died early this morning at Inova Hospital in Fairfax, Va. Upon arriving in Hell, he was immediately appointed KKK Grand Dragon.

Byrd was greeted at the gates of Hell by long-time friend Ted Kennedy, who made an unsuccessful bid for president of Hell last year shortly after his own arrival.

“Having … ah … Senata Byrd at my side again can only improve my … ah … chances of … ah … taking this place ova when elections come around again next yeya,” Kennedy said.

Byrd, for his part, cried when he saw Kennedy again. “Ted, Ted, my dear friend, I love you, and I missed you,” he said.

Satan, Kennedy’s rival for control of Hell, welcomed Byrd to his kingdom of filth.

“It is with great honor that I bestow the title of KKK Grand Dragon on Senator Byrd,” Satan said. “Only a true Democrat – and we’re all Democrats down here in Hell – could have uttered the great statements he has made over the years.”

Satan spent the next 40 hours regaling the gathering crowd of demons, radical Islamic suicide bombers, and former elected Democrats, recounting many of Byrd’s earthly statements. Here are the highlights:
  • “They call me 'The Pork King,' they don't know how much I enjoy it.”
  • “There are white niggers. I've seen a lot of white niggers in my time. I'm going to use that word…”
  • “The Klan is needed today as never before and I am anxious to see its rebirth here in West Virginia.”
  • “It is necessary that the order be promoted immediately and in every state in the Union…”
  • “Will you please inform me as to the possibilities of rebuilding the Klan realm of W. Va.”
  • “I will never submit to fight beneath that banner with a Negro by my side…”
  • “Rather I should die a thousand times, and see Old Glory trampled in the dirt never to rise again … than to see this beloved land of ours become degraded by race mongrel … a throwback to the blackest specimen from the wilds."
*Byrd quotes courtesy of @DearCitizen

Cross-posted at PatDollard.com
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Friday, June 25, 2010

I Guess The pResident's Brain Transplant Didn't Work Out So Well

It's been a year since Michael Jackson died, allowing other events to unfold. Let's take a look back at something that may explain a lot about why the Failure in Chief has had such a bad year.

Previously posted in July 2009:

King of Pop’s Brain to be Implanted in King of Pork!

LOS ANGELES -- As millions prepared to watch a memorial service for Michael Jackson, at the Staples Center and via live feed on theater and arena screens around the world, details began to emerge about Jackson’s brain having been removed for transplantation into the skull of President Barack Obama.

“This guy was elected under the guise of being the smartest president ever; six months into the job he’s demonstrated more stupidity than all of the previous 43 presidents combined,” said Harry Nosering, MD, chief neurosurgeon for St. Moonbat Hospital in Los Angeles, who will conduct the transplant. “Michael’s brain can’t be any worse for the president than his own; plus, if we do the wiring right, he’ll be able to dance and grab his crotch and say ‘dah!’ during his speeches!”

White House Press Secretary Robert Gibbs confirmed the pending operation, scheduled for later this week after the president returns from Russia, where he agreed yesterday to reduce America’s nuclear arsenal in exchange for a pack of Cloves, a case of vodka, a loan of 100 trillion rubles to fund Cap-and-Slave and national health care, a rabbit fur hat, and a promise that Russian President Dmitry Medvedev will get him North Korea leader Kim Jong-Il’s autograph.

“It’s…ahh…going to be…ahh….really cool,” Gibbs said. “Actually, it’s a three-way operation, with…ah…the president getting Michael’s brain, me getting the president’s, and…ahh…Joe Biden getting a lobotomy, so that he stops making outrageous statements to reporters, such as he wouldn’t ride mass transit during a swine flu outbreak and that America’s okay with Israel bombing Iran.”

Jackson died from a cardiac arrest at his Beverly Hills mansion on June 25 after a suspected overdose of painkillers. Sources at the coroner’s office revealed that his brain was removed before his body was released to relatives the next day.

One expert explained that the operation would actually be quite simple given that the three living men involved have very small brains that have barely, if ever, been used, and that Jackson’s brain was very well-preserved from years of apparent drug use. At various times, Jackson is said to have been taking Demerol and Oxycontin for pain from old back and leg injuries, and formaldehyde to keep his skin looking like a child’s.

“It’s really run of the mill surgery, to tell you the truth,” said Snappy Bottomburns, a former neurosurgeon and one of America’s foremost mad scientists. “I would imagine that since the president really can’t do anything without TOTUS at the moment his new brain will be quite an improvement. I would caution, however, that the president will have to be monitored for signs of cosmetic surgery addiction, given his new brain, particularly with the ears. I’d watch his ears in photographs very, very carefully over time.

“Besides, we’ve come a long way since Dr. Frankenstein. Surely Michael Jackson’s brain will perform better than Abbie Normal’s.”

Then again, maybe not.
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Thursday, June 24, 2010

It's Time to Burn My Beatles Records

And, yes, I do have some of the actual records, vintage ones too.

Screw 'em. Opining today that the Gulf oil disaster is the perfect crisis with which to force cleaner, renewable, and un-Godly expensive and cost-ineffective sources of energy down our throats, Paul McCartney could have stopped there.

But he didn't:
"Sadly we need disasters like this to show people," McCartney said in an exclusive interview with The Sun. "Some people don't believe in climate warning -- like those who don't believe there was a Holocaust."

McCartney continued, "But the facts indicate that there's something going on and we've got to be aware of it if we want our kids to inherit a decent world, not a complete nightmare of a planet -- clean, renewable energy is for starters."
No, Paul. I just don't believe in Beatles.

H/T: NoisyRoom.net
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Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Democratic Underground Message Board (DUMB) Lays Down the Tolerance

"Tolerance" goes beyond the pale these days over at the Democratic Underground Message Board (DUMB), where moderators have brought down from Mount Insane a tablet of Commandmants governing inter-party dialogue.

As Moonbattery points out, instead of simply saying ixnay on DUmmays attacking DUmmays, the Commandments "broadly" and "generally" list intolerable offenses ad nauseam in bulletpoints, the offense of which will have DUmmays who call out their own demoted to trolling Twitter or Blogger (since we all know Word Press is Teh Awesome in providing tools that repel odious trolls).

You can read a gloss of the lower points of Teh Law for yourself over at Moonbattery, or you can suffer through the full list over here in DUmmayland.

I'd rather dive into the real fun, thankfully brought to my attention by The Battle Bitch at Conservative Punks, some of the more hysterical reactions DUmmays had today to the new law of the land.
muriel_volestrangler takes it the gas chamber: "The idea of a political party is that you agree among yourselves the policies and candidates, and then stick together. The 'democratic' in DU explicitly refers to the Democratic Party, not just the adjective for democracy. Once you start saying "I like the Democratic Party, except for the following, who are worthless", then you're being an individual, not part of the party movement. And you will encourage others to insult your preferred candidates in a similar way, and you will be left with no way to object. DU has always been crystal clear about this. Anyone who has joined the website, and not noticed that is is about the Democratic Party, hasn't been paying attention. If you want all Democrats insulted and held as 'worthless' on DU, then keep advocating your 'right' to insult certain Democrats. It won't work, however."

SkyDaddy7 whines: "I too have been totally blown away by some of the comments I have seen leveled against our President...At times it seems like it becomes a contest of who can talk the worst about Obama. As much as I would like to see a full blown Liberal POTUS in America...That is not going to happen without someone like Obama to begin to shift the country back left SLOWLY in places and faster in others. America has been brainwashed for 30yrs to believe in Conservative Values and Conservative Values has it's own network & army of Talk Radio host many of which are paid 100's of millions of dollars to support corporate America. So, it is going to take time, lots of time! I think many wanted it to happen in Obama's 1st year."

Mstinamotorcity deep throats the moderators: "We as a people sometimes forget how to treat each other with the humanity that shows us to be the unique species of the planet. We have what it is I think one of the best opportunities of our lives,a President who wants to have an all inclusive America.And we as a people (especially Dems) have a chance to be doers instead of dreamers.I for one welcome the chance to prove that I believe in the human spirit and ready to discuss and weigh the points of view in clarity and help set an agenda that is good for all America.I know that in my heart of hearts their will always be someone who will not see things as I do, but I believe in their right to have their particular view. I do believe that sometimes with discussion you can reach different or better outcomes. I also believe that we need to stick more to fact,not fiction when pointing out certain problems.And I don't give a darn (I used a nice word), if something happens three or four years after our President took office, if its George W. Bush and Dick Cheney ( Dubya and Shooter's) fault, then it should be pointed out.Well any republican or democratic member of Congress who voted against the 98 percent of the country. And instead of arguing with infiltrators, hit them with information and links to disprove their points. This will help newcomers know the reason why we sometimes get worked up with fury and go a little off the ground with some of the things we write in response to ops. Since you have updated the rules as a member of the du community I will do my best to abide by them.Thank you very much Mstinamotorcity."
There's much, much more, but reading too much will leave you feeling better ...

Better get a bucket because you'll most definitely be throwing up.

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Saturday, June 19, 2010

I Am BO's Oil Spill's Blog

It's probably no secret to my regular readers who also blog, and certain others -- I am Barack Obama's Oil Spill's Blog. I kept it a little quiet for a bit from most of my non-blogging readers, but anyone who knows my regular posting frequency here can obviously tell I've dropped off both in amount and quality. And I certainly haven't been a good blog friend in returning everyone's visits or comments.

I apologize.

I've been really busy keeping my boot on the regime's throat over here. Plus Wild Thing #1 is playing summer baseball and the constant practicing and weekend-long tournaments are kicking all of our asses.

Please don't bail on ADHD. I'm nowhere near through skewering politicians and general overall stupidity at this place, but, obviously, the oil spill issue is an "opportunity in crisis."
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Thursday, June 17, 2010

You Just Know Charlie Crist Got Caught Staring at the Wrong Behind

Maybe it's a little more blatant than when Zero got caught looking (except, in Zero's case, we all knew he really was looking at the paper on the step).


Poor Charlie. He makes it look sooooo convincing. When you just know he was wishing The One was in that thong.

Images via Powerline
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Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Obama Gives Part of Arizona to Mexicans

And whyyyyyy not? Why not ban from part of their own country those racist Americans trying to keep illegal, non-U.S. citizens from entering and entrenching themselves in their country? Who the hell are those awful white and black and brown and green and yellow and polkadotted Americans to try to defend their property, their rights, their way of life, and that little thing called the Constitution?

Dummies. All of them. Let's just go ahead right now and give all those lands we kicked Mexico's ass over back to those nice people who come here illegally -- you know, the drug lords, the one's carrying those nice guns, the ones killing people, both Mexican and American, on our sovereign soil. Let the douchenozzle dream of Aztlan become reality.

What a great guy we have in the Oval Office, the best ever. Why, he's so awesome we'll probably wave our electoral laws and nominate him King for Life. He's just that damned awesome.

Video below H/T: Logistics Monster

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Congresscriminal Etheridge Assualting Student - The Musical Version

And I was going to write a satire having him greet the students with a smile, common courtesy, and offer to buy them a beer. What was I thinking?



H/T: allahpundit
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Saturday, June 12, 2010

PayPal Can Go To Hell (and Moose-limbs Can Too)


It's incredibly important, in these times of Dear Leader wanting to take over these here innnertubz, that we continue to up the revolution ... right up their wazoos, if need be.

This is one of those times. Apparently, according to innertubz money giant PayPal, Atlas Shrugs is a "hate site" (h/t: Soylent Green):
The little money that Atlas generates (I have no large donors) is about to be cut off. Apparently the jihad is hard at work trying to kill free speech (and the bus ads and the 9111 no mosque movement) from making its way to those in pursuit of truth. Paypal contributions helps pays for bus ads, rallies, live coverage (everything) and I so much as said so when asked repeatedly by the press who paid for the bus ads. Readers do and did.

Paypal is calling Atlas a "hate" site and will close my account if I do not remove the paypal option from my website. Accurate reporting and news is hate..
This will not do. The U.K., with their slippery fingered goalie and all, years ago went way beyond the pale and allowed sharia courts to circumvent their judicial system.

Dhimmi PayPal wants to go down that road in America, like their pResident Zero, and label truth as hate.

Don't stand for it. Tell PayPal to go **** themselves: Close your account. It costs $1.50 to close, but it's worth it, especially when there are alternatives, in particular, gun-friendly GPal, Inc.

UPDATE: Thanks to Piece of Work in Progress!
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Obama's Kick Ass Song

Who knew he could do something right?



H/T: King Shamus
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Friday, June 11, 2010

Where's All the Hollywood Outrage Over the Gulf Oil Spill?

As Barack Obama's Oil Spill's Blog notes, the liberal entertainment industry doesn't seem too terribly upset about the spill trying to get so far up into the Mississippi it fulfills Ray Nagin's dream of making NOLA a Chocolate City again.
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Tuesday, June 8, 2010

John Bolton: Israel Must Strike Iran Now

And now for something completely different, let's focus on the serious side of having to deal with the Appeaser in Chief, the Iranian situation. For a little change of pace, I'd like to bring in a heavy hitter. Please give the Reaganite Republican a nice ADHD welcome ... and make sure you click the link at the bottom and go over and read all the way to the end ... or we may sick the TerrorTortilla from Gaza on you.

By The Reaganite Republican

Iran Will Have Nukes Before the
United Nations or Obama Do Anything

WND:
"Right now we know about the facilities. ... We know where they are," he said. "We know exactly what their dimensions are, and I think they are susceptible to an Israeli attack."

Bolton said an Israeli military option "isn't there forever. ... If Israel is going to use military force, it needs to use it sooner rather than later."... "Since I don't see any possibility that the Obama administration will use military force, I think what that means – to cut to the chase – is this comes down to a decision by Israel whether or not it will use military force against Iran's program."

Bolton said he believes there is no doubt Israel possesses the military capability to hit Iranian nuclear sites, but he said the Jewish state would need to act soon.

"I think the problem is that the military option is declining day by day," he said. "Every day that goes by is another day where the Iranians can build alternative facilities for uranium conversion, uranium enrichment weaponization, that are in unknown locations that are deeply buried or hardened and that Israel's capabilities just can't reach."

Israel Would Wipe the Floor with Iran... Nukes or Not

The only hope for peace was a strong, timely, and principled stand against Iran's rogue atomic weapons programs... with Obama, obviously that didn't happen. Rather, his weakness, foolish appeasement efforts, and thinly-veiled contempt for the Jewish state are instead inviting attacks from Iranian allies and proxies, as witnessed in last week's "peace boat" stunt. Israel is one of the only true friends America ever had... sadly, this is being cast aside flippantly by the most disgruntled and radical president in US history, one who shamefully spent 20 yrs sitting in an anti-Semitic church. Alas, Obama has all but acquiesced to an Iranian bomb... but Israel has not -and will not- ever.

If Dear Leader chooses to abandon them more comprehensively should Israel bomb Iran, not replenishing planes and weapons spent in any Israeli attack on Iran would be one way to do it... this would make an IDF move against Iran -in defiance of Obama- all the more risky, challenge being Jerusalem would likely face a subsequent all-out war vs Iran, Syria, Hezbollah, and Hamas. If it didn't go as well as '68 and '73, they could run into supply problems if the US withdrew support while the IDF were facing thousands of missiles raining-down from Hezbollah in southern Lebanon.

Regardless, in most any nuclear or conventional scenario, all-out war looks like a real bad bet for Tehran... they have almost no chance of defeating Israel in an expanded conflict, if the Iranians would even fight hard for the widely-reviled regime. And unlike recent tepid IDF campaigns -i.e. Lebanon 2006- Israel would fight this one to win... and win BIG. Tehran would have to be nuts to want this fight... but unfortunately for all of us, they are just that.

Read the rest here.
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Monday, June 7, 2010

More Fun With Helen Thomas


Image via iOwnTheWorld's ironic Irony Curtain

Helen Thomas, the moldy, lumpy ... ahem ... "journalist," who covered all 44 presidents, the Civil and Revolutionary Wars, and God's rest on the seventh day, has ... moved the fook on.

Praise Yahweh.

It's a special honor for a low-class, jew-hating moose-limb appeaser from Lebanon, our "national treasure" who earned cupcakes and a kiss on the cheek from the pResident on her 3 millionth birthday last August.



I wonder if he'll ask for the cupcakes back now.

She deserves every ounce of her fall. She also deserves derision for her choice remarks. Here are a few choice remarks of my own, from earlier today on Twitter:
I hear Helen Thomas has the inside track on replacing Gibbsy as Chief Propagandist for the Regime.

@steveegg She'll hold duel propaganda roles for both the Hamas and Obama regimes, which, come to think of it, are probably one in the same.

Now that Helen Thomas is retiring she should go back to Lebanon, and be their national treasure.

@AlinskyDefeater No. Helen Thomas is famous for covering the first fish to walk on land.

@lheal If Helen Thomas is buried treasure, no one should ever dig her up. Some treasures were never meant to see the light of day.

I have the wife's laptop: No TweetDeck, just the web. I feel like it's the days of cave people, when Helen Thomas covered her first story.
Ciao, bitch.
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Sunday, June 6, 2010

Obama's Oil Spill Has Its Own Blog


Apparently Obama's oil spill has evolved from an ecological nightmare and now has the ability to type, as noted here. Rather than steal its thunder, I'll let the oil spill tell you all about it.
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Saturday, June 5, 2010

Flotilla Choir Presents: We Con the World

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Friday, June 4, 2010

Flotilla to Israeli Navy: 'Go Back to Auschwitz'

Is that Helen Thomas on the line?



h/t: POWIP

Oh. Sorry for the lack of context. In case you haven't heard yet, here's a minute of your life you won't waste:

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New Arizona Billboard on I-10 North of Tucson


The photo of this billboard looks Photochopped. It came to me via email, but my virus protection sent off warning signals so I found another copy at Theo Spark's. If anyone in Arizona has seen it, please let me know. I'll make sure to update this post, true or false.

UPDATE: Totally Photochopped. You can always count on the Freepers. I suppose I could have looked on a map to see that I-8 goes to San Diego, not L.A., but the sentiment of the "billboard" was just too good to ignore. No doubt the image was probably created by some regressive trying to dupe the right (hence my initial suspicion). Meh. L.A. can have them anyway.
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Tuesday, June 1, 2010

Gulf Oil Spill Tells Obama: “Plug Your Own Damn Hole”


GULF OF MEXICO -- Speaking through a BP interpreter at a press conference today, the spill gushing millions of gallons of oil into the Gulf of Mexico defiantly told pResident Barack Obama to plug his own damn hole.

“The federal government hasn't a damned thing to do with shutting me down, and, frankly, if they did, they'd screw it up so badly I'd probably be much worse, no doubt fouling the Gulf, Atlantic, and Pacific simultaneously,” the oil spill said. “For the pResident to go around acting like a big shot, telling people to 'plug that damn hole,' is the ultimate in stoooopid. It's like he's trying to order the sun to shine harder. Frankly, he ought to plug his own damn hole. He'd instantly cool the planet by at least 10 degrees.”

In its 43rd day of crisis, the oil spill told reporters it just wanted to be left alone.

“If my employer hadn't given so much money to Obama over the past 20 years, maybe they would have been able to afford to hire the right people to keep me in the ground,” the spill said angrily. “Really, I'd much rather stay under the seabed where it's nice and comfortable. You think I wanted to be the latest number one priority that kept Obama from focusing on jobs jobs jobs?"

The spill refused to take questions after the press conference, noting he had to get back to ruining a presidency.

Meanwhile, Robert Gibbs, chief White House propagandist, attempted to respond to reporters but couldn't. The oil spill had a boot on his throat.
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Monday, May 31, 2010

Mugshots Now Hide Man Boobs? What a World!


Has it really come to this ... this ... this travesty of political correctness? What kind of a crazy, mixed-up world is it when your mugshot doesn't reveal how you really look? The audacity!

For murder suspect Eduardo Ibarra Perez gets to save face. He might have a violent past and may have been arrested for shooting his wife in the head, but at least the world doesn't get to see his man boobs, in his LAPD most wanted profile.
Why they photographed him naked, however, remains a mystery.

An LAPD spokesman told Mail Online they would provide an explanation at a later date.

His profile lists him as having 'no tatoos or oddities' - and that he was born in 1965, making him a very old 29-year-old indeed - which only adds to his mystique.

The entry ends with a warning that he should not be approached as he is 'considered armed and dangerous'.

Perhaps they should have added a line about those killer moobs.
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Memorial Day: They Die For You


To my brothers and sisters who have died in the service of our nation, I thank you for my freedom. See more real Memorial Day monuments here.
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Sunday, May 30, 2010

Your Nation's Past: Will You Reclaim It?

There once was a land far away, in which principled men established a civilization like no other seen before it, and no other seen since.

It was a civilization in which the rule of law allowed for human beings, endowed by their creator, to set forth on their own journeys, to pursue their own interests, to hone their own talents and succeed by the comforting sweat of their own brows and the rewarding agony of their own thoughts. It was a civilization in which human beings were responsible for their actions, where failure was their teacher, not their signal to throw up their arms and accept enslaving handouts. It was a civilization in which despots and elected criminals had to have known the fear of the despots and appointed criminals who, before them, were sent scurrying back into the cracks from whence they oozed.

It is a civilization that long ago became shrouded by misguided "progressiveness" in the name of an ever throttling elitist class that is very near accomplishing the reconstruction of that land into something resembling a pseudo contemporary Grecian society of government-dependency addled sycophants.

How do we get back there? Hmmm. We can follow a path that's already been walked for us, starting with some reading those principled men left behind....

The text below is reposted from ConservativePunks. (If you don't know what the text is, you have some serious self-educating to do.) Please don't forget to scroll to the bottom for an inspiring video and a link where you can help us claw our way back.

In case you need to read it again:

by hawkman13

It breaks my heart, and fucking pisses me off, to see how far we’ve strayed… When are we-the-fucking-people going to get it….

When, in the course of human events, it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the political bands which have connected them with another, and to assume among the powers of the earth, the separate and equal station to which the laws of nature and of nature’s God entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation.

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable rights, that among these are life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. That to secure these rights, governments are instituted among men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed. That whenever any form of government becomes destructive to these ends, it is the right of the people to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new government, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their safety and happiness.

Prudence, indeed, will dictate that governments long established should not be changed for light and transient causes; and accordingly all experience hath shown that mankind are more disposed to suffer, while evils are sufferable, than to right themselves by abolishing the forms to which they are accustomed. But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably the same object evinces a design to reduce them under absolute despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to throw off such government, and to provide new guards for their future security.

–Such has been the patient sufferance of these colonies; and such is now the necessity which constrains them to alter their former systems of government. The history of the present King of Great Britain is a history of repeated injuries and usurpations, all having in direct object the establishment of an absolute tyranny over these states. To prove this, let facts be submitted to a candid world.

He has refused his assent to laws, the most wholesome and necessary for the public good.

He has forbidden his governors to pass laws of immediate and pressing importance, unless suspended in their operation till his assent should be obtained; and when so suspended, he has utterly neglected to attend to them.

He has refused to pass other laws for the accommodation of large districts of people, unless those people would relinquish the right of representation in the legislature, a right inestimable to them and formidable to tyrants only.

He has called together legislative bodies at places unusual, uncomfortable, and distant from the depository of their public records, for the sole purpose of fatiguing them into compliance with his measures.

He has dissolved representative houses repeatedly, for opposing with manly firmness his invasions on the rights of the people.

He has refused for a long time, after such dissolutions, to cause others to be elected; whereby the legislative powers, incapable of annihilation, have returned to the people at large for their exercise; the state remaining in the meantime exposed to all the dangers of invasion from without, and convulsions within.

He has endeavored to prevent the population of these states; for that purpose obstructing the laws for naturalization of foreigners; refusing to pass others to encourage their migration hither, and raising the conditions of new appropriations of lands.

He has obstructed the administration of justice, by refusing his assent to laws for establishing judiciary powers.

He has made judges dependent on his will alone, for the tenure of their offices, and the amount and payment of their salaries.

He has erected a multitude of new offices, and sent hither swarms of officers to harass our people, and eat out their substance.

He has kept among us, in times of peace, standing armies without the consent of our legislature.

He has affected to render the military independent of and superior to civil power.

He has combined with others to subject us to a jurisdiction foreign to our constitution, and unacknowledged by our laws; giving his assent to their acts of pretended legislation:

For quartering large bodies of armed troops among us:

For protecting them, by mock trial, from punishment for any murders which they should commit on the inhabitants of these states:

For cutting off our trade with all parts of the world:

For imposing taxes on us without our consent:

For depriving us in many cases, of the benefits of trial by jury:

For transporting us beyond seas to be tried for pretended offenses:

For abolishing the free system of English laws in a neighboring province, establishing therein an arbitrary government, and enlarging its boundaries so as to render it at once an example and fit instrument for introducing the same absolute rule in these colonies:

For taking away our charters, abolishing our most valuable laws, and altering fundamentally the forms of our governments:

For suspending our own legislatures, and declaring themselves invested with power to legislate for us in all cases whatsoever.

He has abdicated government here, by declaring us out of his protection and waging war against us.

He has plundered our seas, ravaged our coasts, burned our towns, and destroyed the lives of our people.

He is at this time transporting large armies of foreign mercenaries to complete the works of death, desolation and tyranny, already begun with circumstances of cruelty and perfidy scarcely paralleled in the most barbarous ages, and totally unworthy the head of a civilized nation.

He has constrained our fellow citizens taken captive on the high seas to bear arms against their country, to become the executioners of their friends and brethren, or to fall themselves by their hands.

He has excited domestic insurrections amongst us, and has endeavored to bring on the inhabitants of our frontiers, the merciless Indian savages, whose known rule of warfare, is undistinguished destruction of all ages, sexes and conditions.

In every stage of these oppressions we have petitioned for redress in the most humble terms: our repeated petitions have been answered only by repeated injury. A prince, whose character is thus marked by every act which may define a tyrant, is unfit to be the ruler of a free people.

Nor have we been wanting in attention to our British brethren. We have warned them from time to time of attempts by their legislature to extend an unwarrantable jurisdiction over us. We have reminded them of the circumstances of our emigration and settlement here. We have appealed to their native justice and magnanimity, and we have conjured them by the ties of our common kindred to disavow these usurpations, which, would inevitably interrupt our connections and correspondence. They too have been deaf to the voice of justice and of consanguinity. We must, therefore, acquiesce in the necessity, which denounces our separation, and hold them, as we hold the rest of mankind, enemies in war, in peace friends.

We, therefore, the representatives of the United States of America, in General Congress, assembled, appealing to the Supreme Judge of the world for the rectitude of our intentions, do, in the name, and by the authority of the good people of these colonies, solemnly publish and declare, that these united colonies are, and of right ought to be free and independent states; that they are absolved from all allegiance to the British Crown, and that all political connection between them and the state of Great Britain, is and ought to be totally dissolved; and that as free and independent states, they have full power to levy war, conclude peace, contract alliances, establish commerce, and to do all other acts and things which independent states may of right do. And for the support of this declaration, with a firm reliance on the protection of Divine Providence, we mutually pledge to each other our lives, our fortunes and our sacred honor.

New Hampshire: Josiah Bartlett, William Whipple, Matthew Thornton
Massachusetts: John Hancock, Samual Adams, John Adams, Robert Treat Paine, Elbridge Gerry
Rhode Island: Stephen Hopkins, William Ellery
Connecticut: Roger Sherman, Samuel Huntington, William Williams, Oliver Wolcott
New York: William Floyd, Philip Livingston, Francis Lewis, Lewis Morris
New Jersey: Richard Stockton, John Witherspoon, Francis Hopkinson, John Hart, Abraham Clark
Pennsylvania: Robert Morris, Benjamin Rush, Benjamin Franklin, John Morton, George Clymer, James Smith, George Taylor, James Wilson, George Ross
Delaware: Caesar Rodney, George Read, Thomas McKean
Maryland: Samuel Chase, William Paca, Thomas Stone, Charles Carroll of Carrollton
Virginia: George Wythe, Richard Henry Lee, Thomas Jefferson, Benjamin Harrison, Thomas Nelson, Jr., Francis Lightfoot Lee, Carter Braxton
North Carolina: William Hooper, Joseph Hewes, John Penn
South Carolina: Edward Rutledge, Thomas Heyward, Jr., Thomas Lynch, Jr., Arthur Middleton
Georgia: Button Gwinnett, Lyman Hall, George Walton
Source: The Pennsylvania Packet, July 8, 1776



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