“Why Do People Hate You?”

Guest post by Barack Hussein Obama, POTUS, LOTUS, and BOTUS*

Since Dr. Dave planted this kid today to ask me that question during a town hall meeting I spoke at in New Orleans, I had Anita Dunn commandeer this dumbass web site so I could post my official response. So I could be clear. Or clearer than I was when I told that kid in public:

I think that you've got to take it with a grain of salt. Some of it is just what's called politics where, you know, once one party wins, then the other party kind of gets -- feels like it needs to poke you a little bit to keep you on your toes. And so you shouldn't take it too seriously.

What I really wanted to say is, “Man, you better cut the shit or Imma gonna sic Aunt Esther on your hope-and-change ass.” But I didn’t. And just between you and me, smarming the kid, the little bastard, into believing whatever the hell I was saying was as easy as getting Joe Biden to play dead in the middle of the track during the Daytona 500. And I'm saving that trigger for when I really need it. Want to know the truth, Kid? You should take it seriously. Very seriously.

Clever of Dr. Dave, sending a black kid, too. You gotta watch that guy; he’s racist.

So I figured that since I have this space on the innerwebz for the foreseeable future, I might as well not only use it but also come clean.

Let me be clear:

People hate me because of the economy. I mean, c’mon. How stupid are you people? Yeah, the Dow is over 10,000, but unemployment is at 9.8 percent (or so we tell you…it’s really more like 16 or 17 percent if you factor in all the underemployed and self-employed and folks trying to live off the grid…so I don’t tax them more). You need me to read tea leaves for you, or something? The Messiah don’t play like that. So here’s the deal: Don’t be fooled by that little MSM bullshit that there ain’t no inflation. I’m only giving seniors $250 because, if I don’t, they’ll be at the gates of the White House with pitchforks and torches over what we’re going to do to their precious Medicare, when Obamacare becomes reality. Let me be clear: You’re about to get Obuggered, to use a popular term of Dr. Dave’s, in more ways than one -- specifically in food prices. And don’t put your eggs all in one basket. In fact, to reverse myself, I suggest you go to Vegas, and bet heavy…now.

People hate me because I lie. Joe Wilson was right. Alan Grayson not only looks like Shrek, he also is secretly planning to board the mothership with Tom Cruise. Believe what you want. There won’t be health care rationing. There won’t be any new taxes on people earning $250,000 or less. I will not sign a plan that adds one dime to our deficits. I think I’m pretty clear on this; Joe Wilson is fucking spot on.

People hate me because I’m a socialist. I like to spread the wealth. I’ve slept with Saul Alinsky, ACORN, and Bill Ayers more often than I have with Michelle. And you’ve got to know, if the NY Times is debating what the hell socialism is in 2009, the shit’s already hit the fan.

People hate me because I hate America. Hugo Chavez is my brother from another mother. I’ve asked Putin if he can teach me how to have such a great bare chest … in person, at a Motel 6 … in exchange for dropping missile defense in Eastern Europe, or any missile defense for that matter. And, as you know, I have a soft spot for anyone who enjoys American weakness at my expense.

People hate me because I’m an egotistical megalomaniac. Apparently there’s some new criteria for the Nobel Peace Prize, and I graciously accepted … because I knew three out of five Norwegians agreed they didn’t approve of me. I don’t have all of the facts, but I think Dave Checketts acted stupidly … oh … wait … that didn’t come out right. What I MEANT to say is that I love the National Football League even more than Rush Limbaugh does, and if he’s going to make fake racist statements, I might as well be the one to deliver national remarks about Hispanic Heritage Month in his place because a Monday Night Football game without me is like a noon broadcast at WABC-77 without Limbaugh. Who else is going to hold infomercials on national TV?

You know? I think I’m actually getting a thrill up my leg now. Where's that little kiss-ass Mathews when I need relief?

*LOTUS, Liar of the United States; BOTUS, Bugger of the United States

P.S. Not to belabor the point, but people hate me because I REALLY hate America. Via Soylent Green

P.P.S. People hate me because there's this lingering question about whether or not I'm Kenyan-born. Via IOTW

P.P.S. People hate me because I'm more popular than Santa Claus.

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“Why Do People Hate You?”

Concidence? -- Vol. 5 -- Congressman Shrek

Go check out this hilarious comparison by friend of ours Exblogitate of Congressman Alan Grayson, who thinks Zombiecrats have been around for 3,000 and that Joe Wilson's "You Lie!" eruption was a "belch," with Shrek.

It's just like Shrek to talk about belching in public.

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Concidence? -- Vol. 5 -- Congressman Shrek

Great Moments in Race Relations … by Democrats

With all this talk of racist marches on Washington and racist comments made during presidential speeches and racist outcry over the pResident’s policies, we really should look at the facts. We all know that the Democratic Party has a long history of racism its members want you to forget. Jimmy Carter’s rant to CNN yesterday is one way they try to pretend that we’re the racists.

What if they said what they really thought? Here's what it might look like:

Charlie Rangel: I forgot to report that I once refused to let white folks rent my Harlem brownstone.

Nancy Pelosi: God bless Barack Obama, bless his heart, president of the United States -- a total failure, losing all credibility, lying to the American people about the economy, health care, energy, you name the subject.

Harry Reid: Today’s minorities blithely cannibalize their children because they have a right to get as much “free” stuff as the political system will permit them to extract.

Robert Byrd: There are black honkies. I’ve seen a lot of black honkies in my time. That’s why I wear my KKK hood when President Obama speaks on TV.

Barack Obama: I don’t have all the facts, but I think the white kid deserved to be beaten.

Jimmy Carter: You have to admit, Joe Wilson was right. I mean, Obama was standing there acting all uppity and defiant, like he was talking to a cop. Oh…. Darn…. Was the camera rolling when I said that?

Sonya Sotomayor: We all know that judges don’t make up laws from the bench just to turn white people into second class citizens. Nudge. Nudge. Wink. Wink.

Joe Biden: I mean, you got the first mainstream African-American who is articulate and bright and clean and a nice-looking guy. I mean, that's a storybook, man.

Okay, so the Biden quote is real, and all of the other's except Carter's were based on real quotes. Drop them into Google and you’ll find their equally outrageous origins.

In fact, instead of putting words in their mouths (like they seem to like doing to us), I should just let the Democrats speak for themselves with these REAL racist quotes they've made over the years:

Joe Biden: You cannot go to a 7-11 or Dunkin Donuts unless you have a slight Indian accent.

Jimmy Carter: I'm not going to use the federal government's authority deliberately to circumvent the natural inclination of people to live in ethnically homogeneous neighborhoods. . . . I have nothing against a community that's made up of people who are Polish or Czechoslovakian or French-Canadian or blacks who are trying to maintain the ethnic purity of their neighborhoods.

Hillary Clinton: Mahatma Gandhi ran a gas station down in St. Louis.

Robert F. Kennedy: I did not lie awake at night worrying about the problems of Negroes.

Christopher Dodd: I do not think it is an exaggeration at all to say to my friend from West Virginia [Robert Byrd] that he would have been a great senator at any moment. . . . He would have been right during the great conflict of civil war in this nation.

Jesse Jackson: Hymies. Hymietown.

Al Sharpton: White folks was in caves while we was building empires.... We taught philosophy and astrology and mathematics before Socrates and them Greek homos ever got around to it

Lyndon B. Johnson: These Negroes, they're getting pretty uppity these days and that's a problem for us since they've got something now they never had before, the political pull to back up their uppityness. Now we've got to do something about this, we've got to give them a little something, just enough to quiet them down, not enough to make a difference. For if we don't move at all, then their allies will line up against us and there'll be no way of stopping them, we'll lose the filibuster and there'll be no way of putting a brake on all sorts of wild legislation. It'll be Reconstruction all over again.

Lyndon B. Johnson: I’ll have those n***ers voting Democratic for the next 200 years.

Sources:
Hip Hop Republican

WSJ

That should level the playing field for a while.

UPDATE: And how could I ever forget ... that Jimmy Carter called Obama "this black boy"?

And here's a little more interesting version.

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Great Moments in Race Relations … by Democrats

More Evidence of Obama's Healing Powers

In Obama's America, dissent is now the highest form of racism.

How else can the words "you lie" transmogrify into a historic reprimand and a moonbat outburst from a marginalized peanut farmer who becomes more insane the older he gets?

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More Evidence of Obama's Healing Powers

Cool Words You Can Use in the House of NON-Representatives

pResident Barack Obama is something hated, something oppressive, who runs a bunch of thugs who pass themselves off as our half-baked nitwits handling foreign affairs, using legislative or judicial pork to become a disgrace to the country.

Really. It says so right here.

Sounds about right to me.

h/t: Solomon

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Cool Words You Can Use in the House of NON-Representatives

Putting Lipstick on a Pig

Hopefully I'll be posting something of significance and visiting my blogger friends' acreage within the innerwebz sometime tonight or tomorrow.

In the meantime, I'm busy in the real world (my day job), writing about the dreaded scourge, the deadly dilemma, the one and only media frenzy (other than health care legislation and tea parties and continued coverage of Joe Wilson's "racism"): Swine flu.

Let's see if I get any nasty comments from Agriculture Secretary Tom Vilsack for writing the terribly demeaning and offense words "swine flu."

Swine flu...

Swine flu...

Swine flu...

Remember, all swine are equal. Some are just more equal than others ... to paraphrase Orwell.

Also remember what my mentor and fellow lunatic Hunter S. Thompson once wrote: “In a nation ruled by swine, all pigs are upward-mobile -- and the rest of us are fucked until we can put our acts together.”

Hmm...I wonder if Vilsack's real issue with term is that it's synonymous with people in the government.

I imagine that right about now highly motivated swine everywhere are plotting my demise.

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Putting Lipstick on a Pig

Poor, Whiny Zombiecrats

They can dish it, but they sure can't take it.

Need some diapers Rahmbo, Pinky (Harry Reid's childhood nickname), Joey, or Wicked Witch of Congress? I'll bet Al has some extras.

And for the little trolls...I know the image is Shopped; did you know this one was?

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Poor, Whiny Zombiecrats

"You Lie"

That's right, Joe Wilson, he is a liar.

UPDATE: Again, and again, and again.

After all, doesn't Obugger sound like a dad scolding a bunch of kids who just did as he does and not as he said to do? And did you catch Nancy Pelosi's look? It's almost as if she just heard a recording of herself calling the American people Nazis.

Bugger off, Obugger. You do lie....you broken record sinking into irrelevancy fake high-IQ whiny asshole with terrible poll numbers whose only claim to fame is getting passed a Porkulus bill that hasn't done jack while you lose the respect of more Americans by the Teleprompter sound byte.

You may be a resident of the White House, but you're no president of the United States, no more than, say, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad is. Obviously, since you're not listening to hundreds of thousands of Americans and, on Saturday, upwards of a million, you think you're president only of you.

Believe me...whatever you say does not go...not by a long shot.

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"You Lie"