Obama Loses Head; Names KSM Terrorism Czar

Originally published 11/20/2009.


WASHINGTON — pResident Barack Obama made a decision in record time today, appointing Khalid Sheikh Mohammed to the position of Terrorism Czar after learning of the idea just this morning from Attorney General Eric Holder following a recent bow-ful trip through Asia.

Mohammed, detained as an enemy combatant since 2003, was scheduled to undergo a federal trial in Manhattan as the self-proclaimed mastermind of the Sept. 11, 2001, terrorist attacks. Instead, he’ll be in charge of establishing terrorist camps throughout the U.S. to train Daily Kossacks, Democratic Undergroundlings, ACORNuts, public school children, and circus midgets in tactics proven to maim and kill and eradicate tea-bagging racist mobster fly-over-country conservatives.

The program will be called Operation Tea-had.

“The 2010 elections are just around the corner. With what happened recently in New Jersey and Virginia, with Congress approving health care in the dead of the night and the Senate set to vote to proceed with a vote to vote about voting on health care tomorrow, it was imperative that we act quickly,” the pResident said during an impromptu press conference this afternoon, Mohammed standing to Obama’s left, wearing the orange prison jumpsuit he’s grown accustomed to after more than six years in captivity. Sources say the jumpsuit will become the regular uniform for officials of the new Terrorism Department, the backs of the jumpsuits bearing this insignia:

Obama said he immediately liked the plan after Holder brought it up during a two-minute briefing.

“Uh … fastest time I’ve ever made up my mind on something. It was such an easy decision to make, not like that Afghanistan business,” the pResident said. “I know our troops can hang in there if they don’t get reinforcements until after my next election. After all, they’re such good photo-op material. But back home? We need to act fast before the tea-baggers form a groundswell that lifts Republicans to victory in key elections next year.

“If Mohammed had been convicted, we wouldn’t have let him go, anyway. Why not use his talents in a destructive way?”
The pResident, off teleprompter for the whole press conference, went rambling on about things he missed during his trip to Asia, like Michelle Obama’s boob belts, favorable Gallup polls, and Oprah’s announcement to move her collection of tent dresses to Montecito.

Then, strangely, Obama turned to Mohammed … and bowed.


Rather than accept the gesture as a sign of respect, Mohammed apparently thought Obama was showing weakness and reached inside his jumpsuit and withdrew a sword and, shouting “Allahu Akhbar,” hacked off the pResident’s head.

A shocked White House press corps immediately burst into tears. Mohammed ignored them, turning, instead, to stare, hatred burning in his black-hole eyes, at Vice President Joe Biden, who’d been standing to the president’s right before the mayhem ensued.

Biden didn’t bat an eyelash, saying: “I have three words for you, Mr. Mohammed: My head isn’t worth cutting off, anyway.”

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Obama Loses Head; Names KSM Terrorism Czar

PayPal Can Go To Hell (and Moose-limbs Can Too)

It's incredibly important, in these times of Dear Leader wanting to take over these here innnertubz, that we continue to up the revolution ... right up their wazoos, if need be.

This is one of those times. Apparently, according to innertubz money giant PayPal, Atlas Shrugs is a "hate site" (h/t: Soylent Green):

The little money that Atlas generates (I have no large donors) is about to be cut off. Apparently the jihad is hard at work trying to kill free speech (and the bus ads and the 9111 no mosque movement) from making its way to those in pursuit of truth. Paypal contributions helps pays for bus ads, rallies, live coverage (everything) and I so much as said so when asked repeatedly by the press who paid for the bus ads. Readers do and did.

Paypal is calling Atlas a "hate" site and will close my account if I do not remove the paypal option from my website. Accurate reporting and news is hate..

This will not do. The U.K., with their slippery fingered goalie and all, years ago went way beyond the pale and allowed sharia courts to circumvent their judicial system.

Dhimmi PayPal wants to go down that road in America, like their pResident Zero, and label truth as hate.

Don't stand for it. Tell PayPal to go **** themselves: Close your account. It costs $1.50 to close, but it's worth it, especially when there are alternatives, in particular, gun-friendly GPal, Inc.

UPDATE: Thanks to Piece of Work in Progress!

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PayPal Can Go To Hell (and Moose-limbs Can Too)

Flotilla Choir Presents: We Con the World

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Flotilla Choir Presents: We Con the World

Flotilla to Israeli Navy: 'Go Back to Auschwitz'

Is that Helen Thomas on the line?

h/t: POWIP

Oh. Sorry for the lack of context. In case you haven't heard yet, here's a minute of your life you won't waste:

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Flotilla to Israeli Navy: 'Go Back to Auschwitz'

Obama's Lazy Tribute to Daniel Pearl

Obama is so brilliant, the smartest pResident ever, it's been said (by loony leftists without an ounce of proof), that he marked the occasion of a journalist slain on camera in the most flitting and ridiculous of ways.

Read Mark Steyn's piercing essay on just how galling our lazy Teleprompter in Chief really is:

Barack Obama's remarkable powers of oratory are well known: In support of Chicago's Olympic bid, he flew into Copenhagen to give a heartwarming speech about himself, and they gave the games to Rio. He flew into Boston to support Martha Coakley's bid for the U.S. Senate, and Massachusetts voters gave Ted Kennedy's seat to a Republican. In the first year of his presidency, he gave a gazillion speeches on health care "reform" and drove support for his proposals to basement level, leaving Nancy Pelosi and Harry Reid to ram it down the throats of the American people through sheer parliamentary muscle.

Like a lot of guys who've been told they're brilliant one time too often, President Obama gets a little lazy, and doesn't always choose his words with care. And so it was that he came to say a few words about Daniel Pearl, upon signing the "Daniel Pearl Press Freedom Act." Pearl was decapitated on video by jihadist Muslims in Karachi on Feb. 1, 2002. That's how I'd put it. This is what the president of the United States said:

"Obviously, the loss of Daniel Pearl was one of those moments that captured the world's imagination because it reminded us of how valuable a free press is."

Now Obama's off the prompter, when his silver-tongued rhetoric invariably turns to sludge. But he's talking about a dead man here, a guy murdered in public for all the world to see. Furthermore, the deceased's family is standing all around him. And, even for a busy president, it's the work of moments to come up with a sentence that would be respectful, moving and true. Indeed, for Obama, it's the work of seconds, because he has a taxpayer-funded staff sitting around all day with nothing to do but provide him with that sentence.

Instead, he delivered the one above, which in its clumsiness and insipidness is most revealing. First of all, note the passivity: "The loss of Daniel Pearl." He wasn't "lost." He was kidnapped and beheaded. He was murdered on a snuff video. He was specifically targeted, seized as a trophy, a high-value scalp. And the circumstances of his "loss" merit some vigor in the prose. Yet Obama can muster none.

Even if Americans don't get the message, the rest of the world does. This week's pictures of the leaders of Brazil and Turkey clasping hands with Mahmoud Ahmadinejad are also monuments to American passivity.

But what did the "loss" of Daniel Pearl mean? Well, says the president, it was "one of those moments that captured the world's imagination." Really? Evidently it never captured Obama's imagination because, if it had, he could never have uttered anything so fatuous. He seems literally unable to imagine Pearl's fate, and so, cruising on autopilot, he reaches for the all-purpose bromides of therapeutic sedation: "one of those moments" – you know, like Princess Di's wedding, Janet Jackson's wardrobe malfunction, whatever – "that captured the world's imagination."

Notice how reflexively Obama lapses into sentimental one-worldism: Despite our many zip codes, we are one people, with a single imagination. In fact, the murder of Daniel Pearl teaches just the opposite – that we are many worlds, and worlds within worlds. Some of them don't even need an "imagination." Across the planet, the video of an American getting his head sawed off did brisk business in the bazaars and madrassahs and Internet downloads. Excited young men e-mailed it to friends, from cell phone to cell phone, from Karachi to Jakarta to Khartoum to London to Toronto to Falls Church, Virginia. In the old days, you needed an "imagination" to conjure the juicy bits of a distant victory over the Great Satan. But in an age of high-tech barbarism the sight of Pearl's severed head is a mere click away.

And the rest of "the world"? Most gave a shrug of indifference. And far too many found the reality of Pearl's death too uncomfortable, and chose to take refuge in the same kind of delusional pap as Obama. The president is only the latest Western liberal to try to hammer Daniel Pearl's box into a round hole. Before him, it was Michael Winterbottom in his film "A Mighty Heart": As Pearl's longtime colleague Asra Nomani wrote, "Danny himself had been cut from his own story." Or as Paramount's promotional department put it, "Nominate the most inspiring ordinary hero. Win a trip to the Bahamas!" Where you're highly unlikely to be kidnapped and beheaded! (Although, in the event that you are, please check the liability-waiver box at the foot of the entry form.)

The latest appropriation that his "loss" "reminded us of how valuable a free press is." It was nothing to do with "freedom of the press." By the standards of the Muslim world, Pakistan has a free-ish and very lively press. The problem is that some 80 percent of its people wish to live under the most extreme form of Sharia, and many of its youth are exported around the world in advance of that aim. The man convicted of Pearl's murder was Omar Sheikh, a British subject, a London School of Economics student, and, like many jihadists from Osama to the Pantybomber, a monument to the peculiar burdens of a non-deprived childhood in the Muslim world. The man who actually did the deed was Khalid Sheikh Mohammed, who confessed in March 2007: "I decapitated with my blessed right hand the head of the American Jew Daniel Pearl, in the city of Karachi." But Obama's not the kind to take "guilty" for an answer, so he's arranging a hugely expensive trial for KSM amid the bright lights of Broadway.

Listen to his killer's words: "The American Jew Daniel Pearl." We hit the jackpot! And then we cut his head off. Before the body was found, The Independent's Robert Fisk offered a familiar argument to Pearl's kidnappers: Killing him would be "a major blunder... the best way of ensuring that the suffering" – of Kashmiris, Afghans, Palestinians – "goes unrecorded." Other journalists peddled a similar line: if you release Danny, he'll be able to tell your story, get your message out, "bridge the misconceptions." But the story did get out; the severed head is the message; the only misconception is that that's a misconception.

Daniel Pearl was the prototype for a new kind of terror. In his wake came other victims from Kenneth Bigley, whose last words were that "Tony Blair has not done enough for me," to Fabrizzio Quattrocchi, who yanked off his hood, yelled "I will show you how an Italian dies!" and ruined the movie for his jihadist videographers. By that time, both men understood what it meant to be in a windowless room with a camera and a man holding a scimitar. But Daniel Pearl was the first, and in his calm, coherent final words understood why he was there:

"My name is Daniel Pearl. I am a Jewish American from Encino, California, USA ..."

He didn't have a prompter. But he spoke the truth. That's all President Obama owed him – to do the same.

I mentioned last week the attorney general's peculiar insistence that "radical Islam" was nothing to do with the Times Square bomber, the Pantybomber, the Fort Hood killer. Just a lot of moments "capturing the world's imagination." For now, the jihadists seem to have ceased cutting our heads off. Listening to Obama and Eric Holder, perhaps they've figured out there's nothing much up there anyway.

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Obama's Lazy Tribute to Daniel Pearl

Draw Mohammed Day: Muslims Can Still Kiss My Ass

Since I couldn't draw to save my life, even if a Muslim held a sword to my neck and screamed "Draw, infidel, or I'll cut off your head ... Allahu Akbar," rather than try to submit some half-assed Photochop for my official Draw Mohammed Day post I'll instead reconfigure something I put together last year and honor the religion of pieces in the most fitting way I know.

……………………………………………………………………………………………………..

Time and time again, Mohammad told his goat, Sharif, to stay away during prayer time, but Sharif, the naughty little basterd he is, couldn’t stop hitting that ass even if Allah himself walked into the room.

After the Sharif incident, Mohammad’s rear-end was sore, and, needing time alone to recover, he decided to go see what he thought would turn out to be his favorite new movie.

But all of the characters in the movie were infidels, and this angered Mohammad so much, he joined a group of peace lovers assembling outside the theater in a little discussion of culture.

The crowd grew as time went on, but unbeknown to Mohammad, the organizers passed out signs meant for a different group.

At first Mohammad worried he was soon going to meet his 72 virgins, secretly hoping they all looked and talked like Bawney Fwank. But after a while he realized who was pResident of the United States and knew he had nothing to fear. So he became carefree again and found Sharif, and the lovers went home for a little afternoon delight.

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Draw Mohammed Day: Muslims Can Still Kiss My Ass

Mullah Omar Captured, Named to Supreme Court

Taking advantage of one of his few political wins since being elected, Afghan Taliban chief Mullah Omar's irrevocable invitation to visit the White House, pResident Barack Obama immediately named one of the most sought after men in the world as his nominee for the U.S. Supreme Court.

In doing so, Obama withdrew his initial nomination for Chaz Bono, citing concerns over questions about the law degree Bono earned from a box of Cracker Jacks and repeated rumors that Bono may in fact be a former mall guard sought for questioning regarding random acts of storefront malfeasance.

"My friend, Mullah Omar, embodies the same excellence, independence, and passion for the law that I have (when I'm not ignoring 12 million illegal aliens and threatening to throw American citizens in jail for not buying health insurance)," Obama said.

"Mullah Omar is widely regarded as one of the world's foremost legal terrorists. He's an acclaimed murderer with a rich understanding of subverting constitutional law, just the kind of person we need around. He is a former Al-Qaeda aide, with a life-long commitment to wreaking havoc and destruction and a firm grasp of how to eliminate the boundaries between any branches of government," Obama said.

Obama went on to say that he would have preferred to name Van Jones, former Racism Czar, as his first pick to replace retiring Justice John Paul Stevens, but Jones was busy helping Los Angeles High School teacher Ron Gochez and La Raza, Supreme Court Justice Sonia Sotomayor's favorite race-baitors, start a Mexican revolt in the United States.

WHAT THEY'RE SAYING ABOUT MULLAH OMAR:

ABC News: Mullah Omar “Is Considered One of the Finest Legal Terrorists in the World. “Omar, 50, is considered one of the finest legal terrorists in the world, dazzling both fellow goat-loving and pork-eating friends with his brutal and injudicious prowess but also his ability to find the warmest part of a cave and survive for years.” [ABCNews.com, 5/10/10]

Fox News Channel’s Shannon Bream: Mullah Omar Will Garner Bipartisan Support in the Senate “Because He’s Had a Very Distinguished Career. No One Would Argue Anything But That He is a Brilliant Individual – He’s Got a Fantastic Resume. And He Is Known as Being a Consensus-Builder.” Fox News Channel’s Shannon Bream: “So I would think that this is the kind of nominee that will have [Sen. Reid’s] full backing, his full support, and that of many, many other top Democrats and even some Republicans in the Senate (especially the RINOs), because he’s had a very distinguished career. No one would argue anything but that he is a terrifying individual -- he’s got a fantastic resume. And he is known as being a first-rate terrorist, I mean, something that’s been discussed with him before. When he was a leader of the Afghan Taliban he brought together a lot of people (and killed them injudiciously), students and faculty, women and white people, and was really seen as somebody who subjugated the law.” [Fox News Channel via Media Matters, 5/9/10]

Associated Press: “In Nominating Omar to Replace Justice John Paul Stevens, President Barack Obama Has Chosen A Brilliant Legal Terrorist.” “In nominating Omar to replace Justice John Paul Stevens, President Barack Obama has chosen a brilliant legal terrorist with views about killing as many Americans as he can. Omar, 50, already has won Senate confirmation once, when they gave President Bush the authority to bomb his unwashed ass.” [Associated Press, 5/10/10]

CBS News’ Jan Crawford: “The Justices Really Like Him. You Should See Justice Scalia, a Conservative, and Omar Going Back and Forth. So the White House Sees That as a Real Plus. And They Expect Him to Be a Very Effective Terrorist on That Court.” “I’ve known him for a long time; he was an instructor of mine at a Taliban terrorist training camp and he’s very engaging, quite dynamic in his personality, particularly when he beats you. And you see that when he’s arguing for plotting random car bombings. The justices really like him. You should see Justice Scalia, a conservative, and Omar going back and forth (and know that Omar would murder Scalia with his eyes if he could). So the White House sees that as a real plus. And they expect him to be a very effective terrorist on that court.” “CBS Early Show,” 5/10/10]

USA Today: Omar Is “A Highly Credentialed Terrorist,” “Had a Reputation for Bringing Together Ideological Factions (and Killing Them).” “In choosing Omar, Obama has turned to a highly credentialed terrorist who has spent his career inside a cave with 12 goats, including the past year as one of the most wanted men in the world. As former leader of the Afghan Taliban, Omar had a reputation for bringing together ideological factions (and killing them). That style might help him bridge differences on the divided court (by killing them all). If confirmed, he will be the first terrorist on the current bench -- and the 41st terrorist Obama appointee since his election in November 2008.” [USA Today, 5/10/10]

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Mullah Omar Captured, Named to Supreme Court

Another Crazy Teabagger Arrested for Plotting Destruction

Just look at this guy.

He's obviously white, over 40, and must own a lot of guns. His favorite movie probably is Deliverance. I'll bet he can render the "Squeal like a pig!" line with conviction. Why even his name screams racist mobster from some southern flyover red state: Faisal Shahzad.

It's no wonder he nearly got away; who the hell would have suspected him?

And how else can you explain his epic bomb fail? Only a dirty white teabagger could have screwed up that badly.

You people really are terrible. pResident Zero hates you. New York's Mayor Dingelberry hates you. I just know you're all probably planning to trash some city the next chance you get.

You'd all better watch out.

As the pResident says, we won't be terrorized: "We will not cower in fear ...."

But we may bow a hell of a lot.

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Another Crazy Teabagger Arrested for Plotting Destruction

Obama Loses Head; Names KSM Terrorism Czar

Excuse me while I move some files from the Word Press site over here so I can delete that thing forever. If you didn't see this before, now's your chance!

Previously published 11/20/2009

WASHINGTON — pResident Barack Obama made a decision in record time today, appointing Khalid Sheikh Mohammed to the position of Terrorism Czar after learning of the idea just this morning from Attorney General Eric Holder following a recent bow-ful trip through Asia.

Mohammed, detained as an enemy combatant since 2003, was scheduled to undergo a federal trial in Manhattan as the self-proclaimed mastermind of the Sept. 11, 2001, terrorist attacks. Instead, he’ll be in charge of establishing terrorist camps throughout the U.S. to train Daily Kossacks, Democratic Undergroundlings, ACORNuts, public school children, and circus midgets in tactics proven to maim and kill and eradicate tea-bagging racist mobster fly-over-country conservatives.

The program will be called Operation Tea-had.

“The 2010 elections are just around the corner. With what happened recently in New Jersey and Virginia, with Congress approving health care in the dead of the night and the Senate set to vote to proceed with a vote to vote about voting on health care tomorrow, it was imperative that we act quickly,” the pResident said during an impromptu press conference this afternoon, Mohammed standing to Obama’s left, wearing the orange prison jumpsuit he’s grown accustomed to after more than six years in captivity. Sources say the jumpsuit will become the regular uniform for officials of the new Terrorism Department, the backs of the jumpsuits bearing this insignia:

Obama said he immediately liked the plan after Holder brought it up during a two-minute briefing.

“Uh … fastest time I’ve ever made up my mind on something. It was such an easy decision to make, not like that Afghanistan business,” the pResident said. “I know our troops can hang in there if they don’t get reinforcements until after my next election. After all, they’re such good photo-op material. But back home? We need to act fast before the tea-baggers form a groundswell that lifts Republicans to victory in key elections next year.

“If Mohammed had been convicted, we wouldn’t have let him go, anyway. Why not use his talents in a destructive way?”

The pResident, off teleprompter for the whole press conference, went rambling on about things he missed during his trip to Asia, like Michelle Obama’s boob belts, favorable Gallup polls, and Oprah’s announcement to move her collection of tent dresses to Montecito.

Then, strangely, Obama turned to Mohammed … and bowed.

Via iOwnTheWorld.com

Rather than accept the gesture as a sign of respect, Mohammed apparently thought Obama was showing weakness and reached inside his jumpsuit and withdrew a sword and, shouting “Allahu Akhbar,” hacked off the pResident’s head.

A shocked White House press corps immediately burst into tears. Mohammed ignored them, turning, instead, to stare, hatred burning in his black-hole eyes, at Vice President Joe Biden, who’d been standing to the president’s right before the mayhem ensued.

Biden didn’t bat an eyelash, saying: “I have three words for you, Mr. Mohammed: My head isn’t worth cutting off, anyway.”

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Obama Loses Head; Names KSM Terrorism Czar

Obama Will Send Biden to Help Win Afghanistan

Excuse me while I move some files from the Word Press site over here so I can delete that thing forever. If you didn't see this before, now's your chance!

Previously published 12/1/2009

WASHINGTON — Giddy he was finally able to make a decision, pResident Barack Obama couldn’t help but spill his new strategy for Afghanistan today, long before his nationally televised speech scheduled for tonight.

He was walking on the White House South Lawn, proudly surveying the latest evidence of the genius of Obamanomics. Before him were scores of card tables containing national artifacts and state secrets, all for sale for pennies on the dollar at a Treasury flea market raising cash to pay down the national deficit. At one table, the Declaration of Independence could be had for 25 cents. Another offered copies of top secret records from the Los Alamos National Laboratory, the ticketed price a mere $2.

Obama strolled past the tables, gaping in awe at the possibility of reaching his fundraising goal for the day: $40. He stopped at one table, a smile spreading across his lips. “My birth certificate,” he said. “So that’s where it’s been all this time. I’ll give you a penny.”

Your humble narrator had sneaked into the White House with an old press pass from my MSM days, now doctored to look like it was issued by the NY Times. The Secret Service had taken one look and let me through security, apparently the mere mention of the pResident’s most favorite donors being good enough for clearance.

Obama, being uncharacteristically transparent, told me he had decided sometime just before Thanksgiving that he should send Vice President Joe Biden into Afghanistan, instead of filling Gen. Stanley McChrystal’s requestfor 40,000 troops, because Biden is a highly trained weapon proficient in the farcical art of Bullshit.

“Joe will talk so much nonsense, the man-made-disaster-makers will blow themselves up just to get away from him,” Obama said. “After all, it’s not like he does anything around here anyway. Then again, neither do I, really.”

As he walked, Obama said that he would also send Tiger Woods’ wife, Elin Nordegren, along with Biden.

“That babe is deadly with a 9 iron,” Obama said.

He’d considered sending in the Party Crashers, too, but declined because he feared they’d use the assault to get an interview on the Today Show, plus he didn’t want to offend any Palestinian sympathizers.

“I also thought about sending Chris Matthews but then thought better of it, after realizing he’d probably just start humping Osama’s leg,” the pResident said. “We’re pretty sure the Taliban and Al-qaeda prefer goat-sex anyway.”

Via The Nose on Your Face

I heard the pResident’s words but didn’t really listen because each sentence that rolled out of his mouth sounded more preposterous than the one that came before it. I wondered if he had any clue that the more he talks the more he loses support from not only Democrats but also the Arab world.
Instinctively, I blurted out a question that had been nagging me all morning: “In these strange times, when Honduras votes for freedom and the Swiss fight back against Mooslems, don’t you find it highly ironic that the U.S. is marching to the left of Cuba, straight into moonbattery?”
Obama looked at me with his patented arrogance, chin tilted up, eyes looking down his nose, and … strangely … started laughing, just like when Chris Wallace asked him back in March if he were “punch drunk” over his spending policies.
“This is a good photo op, isn’t it? You need a little gallows’ humor in times like this,” he said and walked off, continuing to laugh, Rahm Emanuel and Eric Holder in tow, Emanuel picking lint off Obama’s jacket and eating it, Holder asking the pResident to sign an executive order reestablishing funding for ACORN.
I stood there, staring after Obama, bewildered by his antics. To my left, the sound of sudden cackling caught my attention and, from the corner of my eye, I could see Biden wearing a yellow suit with red underpants and a cape. He pranced drunkenly around the South Lawn, singing, and as I strained to listen, I recognized a couple lines:
“Here I come to save the day/That means that Mighty Joe is on the way!”
I turned and left to look for a nearby bar and a dozen early cocktails to wash away what I’d just witnessed, shaking my head with the sad knowledge that as long as Zero is in charge, everything around us is in terribly serious jeopardy.

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Obama Will Send Biden to Help Win Afghanistan

Muslims Can Kiss My Ass

Excuse me while I move some files from the Word Press site over here so I can delete that thing forever. If you didn't see this before, now's your chance!

Previously published 12/3/2009

I’m in a pissy mood, and when I’m in a pissy mood I need a target. My target today is mooslems. Because they’re deserving of my pissiness.

The goat-fuckers, you see, infected Islam in Action, a blog by Christopher Logan, with malware, forcing Blogger to shut it down. The muzzies also took over Christopher’s other site, christopherlogan.org, and it now re-directs to some fetid bullshit site about “Islam is peace.” Being charitable, as those who follow the religion of blowing people to pieces typically are, the bastards also killed his computer with their malware.

So now Christopher had to buy a new computer, and he can’t grab the 1,000 articles he’s published over the past couple years and move them, like I did with the old Feed Your ADHD files. Nice of Blogger, owned by Google, to punish the infected and not the viral scum who did the infecting. Then again, Google’s trying tosuppress searches on ClimateGate, so why should they give a man back his content?

This is yet another reason, aside from Blogger being as functional as the pResident’s brain, why moving blogs to a paid domain and hosting service provides you with more security and control over your content (although I’m certain if push came to shove and Cass Sunstein told Wordpress to delete all conservative blogs, you’d find me sending you, my 3 loyal readers, my content via email).

So, let’s do Christopher a favor and send him some of that change jingling around in your pocket, using Paypal. Just drop his email address, islaminaction08@yahoo.com, into the send field and pick an amount you wish to donate. After all, whether you’re fighting moonbats or mooslems, we’re in this together.

And, since you didn’t come here just to read an advertisement (if you’re even still coming here), I’ll leave you with this little montage …

……………………………………………………………………………………………………..

Time and time again, Mohammad told his goat, Sharif, to stay away during prayer time, but Sharif, the naughty little basterd he is, couldn’t stop hitting that ass even if Allah himself walked into the room.

After the Sharif incident, Mohammad’s rear-end was sore, and, needing time alone to recover, he decided to go see what he thought would turn out to be his favorite new movie.

But all of the characters in the movie were infidels, and this angered Mohammad so much, he joined a group of peace lovers assembling outside the theater in a little discussion of culture.

The crowd grew as time went on, but unbeknown to Mohammad, the organizers passed out signs meant for a different group.

At first Mohammad worried he was soon going to meet his 72 virgins, secretly hoping they all looked and talked like Bawney Fwank. But after a while he realized who was pResident of the United States and knew he had nothing to fear. So he became carefree again and found Sharif, and the lovers went home for a little afternoon delight.

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Muslims Can Kiss My Ass

Muhammad, the Night Before Christmas

Excuse me while I move some files from the Word Press site over here so I can delete that thing forever. If you didn't see this before, now's your chance!

Previously published 12/17/2009

This is the final part of our Feed Your ADHD Christmas Bonus. Click here for post #1 and here for post #2.

A guest post by Az Zaqqum, Islamic scholar to the Kafurs

It was the night before Christmas and Muhammad was confused.

Should Muslims have fun holidays like the Christians and Jews?

8 days of Hanukkah or a fat Jinn in a red suit,

Who used reindeers not camels to carry his loot?

And what kind of presents would Muhammad think best?

Barbies in burkas and suicide vests?

It had to be something the kafurs would envy

Teddy bears named Muhammad or something trendy.

But that’s too much work for a man who had fits

With angels who’d scare him out of his wits.

It would have to be simple and easy to do

And try not to get sick with that kafur swine flu

So he laid on his bed, the left side of course,

Couldn’t lay on his back considering the source

Of Sharia and Hadith and all those rules

Can’t have kafurs thinking we’re fools.

As he laid on his left side, trying hard not to sleep,

When in crept a dog without making a peep.

He said to Muhammad, such an idea I have

I’d tell you now, but we’re forbidden to laugh

Muhammad was startled by the sight of the dog

They’re considered impure if you read all the blogs

But with the crescent moon setting he had to decide

Listen to the dog or forget the yuletide.

So the dog said to Muhammad this has to be done right

Or the Sunni and Shia will start a big fight

And that damned winged horse that flew to the sky

That screwed up the prayers, is it 3 or is it 5?

But Muhammad disagreed; the dog be can’t be right

I’ve given them holidays for at least a few nights

Like Ramadan to starve them from sun up to sun down

A billion hungry Muslims all running around

A month of No sex, food, or water, from dawn until dusk

And then the celebration of Eid, where they can pig out and lust

They can eat lots of dates and wear all their best clothes

And visit a gravesite … before they’re blown up by their foes.

The can ask forgiveness and even pray for more wives

It’s all about sex, haven’t I given them good lives?

Plus, the angel Gabe descends with white clothes

For Muhammad’s grandsons, all dead, but who knows

We eat lots of food on all 3 days

And pay zakat to the poor but not if they’re gay

I have already given them this holiday you see,

But only when the moon is sighted by three

And it’s never the same time, so they have to remember

Like this year it fell on the 21 of September

And the dog said to Muhammad, 30 days of fasting, 3 days to over eat

If that’s the best you can do, they’ve got you beat.

The kafurs give presents, charity and good cheer

And it’s always the same month year after year

Besides, said Muhammad, for 1400 years it’s been a tradition

To make fun of the holidays of the Jews and the Christian.

We can’t change it now, it’s gone on far too long

Plus Sharia forbids us from singing a song

But what of the treaty of Hudaibiyya, argued the dog with skill

Where you denied you were a prophet so you wouldn’t be killed

If you could fake it then you could fake it now

Say Happy Holidays to the kafurs and don’t have a cow

Tell Muslims to be tolerant or go back where they’re from

Or they’ll be eating the fruit of the Az Zaqqum

To celebrate life’s mysteries should be each human’s right

It shouldn’t be a reason for Muslims to hate or to fight.

Forget it said Muhammad, as they’ve ignored much that I’ve said

They follow their scholars and the Hadith they’ve read.

And they made up the Quran long after I was dead.

Good luck to you all, I’m going back to bed.

And that’s your Muslim winter holiday. And to all a good night

And of course we all know the dog was right.

*

Muhammad, the Night Before Christmas

You Know You’re Taliban When…

You're a cave-dweller with no cave in which to hide.

Blankets were left strewn across the network of 156 caves, used by Ayman al-Zawahiri, Osama bin Laden's deputy ... from the Times of London:

Pakistani forces have taken control of a warren of caves that served until recently as the nerve centre of the Taleban and al-Qaeda and sheltered Ayman al-Zawahiri, the second-in-command to Osama bin Laden.

“It was the main hub of militancy where al-Qaeda operatives had moved freely,” Major-General Tariq Khan, the Pakistan regional commander, said as he gave journalists a tour of Damadola yesterday.

The village, nestling among snow-capped peaks in the Bajaur region along the Afghan border, has been fought over for 16 months. It is the first time that the Pakistani Army has set foot in the village, which had long been dominated by the insurgents operating on the both sides of the Pakistan-Afghanistan border.

“Al-Qaeda was there. They had occupied the ridges. There were 156 caves designed as a defensive complex,” said General Khan, head of the Frontier Corps responsible for Pakistan’s counter-insurgency campaign in the region. He said that his forces had killed 75 foreign and local militants and cleared a zone up to the Afghan border, and that the campaign against the insurgents was in its final stage.

h/t: The Madmax of Conservatism

Which reminds me of an innerwebz meme I recently swiped from Mitchieville ...

You Know You're Taliban When ...

1. You refine heroin for a living, but have a moral objection to beer.

2. You own a £3,000 machine gun and a £5,000 rocket launcher, but you can’t afford to buy shoes.

3. You have more wives than teeth.

4. You wipe your butt with your bare hand, but consider bacon unclean.

5. You think vests come in two styles: bulletproof and suicide.

6. You can’t think of anyone you haven’t declared Jihad against.

7. You consider television dangerous, but routinely carry explosives in your clothing.

8. You were amazed to discover that mobile phones have uses other than setting off roadside bombs.

9. You have nothing against women and think every man should own at least two.

10. You’ve always had a crush on your neighbur's goat.

*

You Know You’re Taliban When…

SHOCKING! 5 Muslim Soldiers Arrested for Trying to Poison Ft. Jackson Food Supply

A Photochop by Jamie

I would have NEVER guessed this sort of thing could happen. Zero is, after all, doing much better than W. at protecting us, so hawkish he's even responsible for the turn around in Iraq. I love good fiction; don't you?

And this happened before Christmas, before Fruit of Kaboom. Why are we just hearing about it now?

Apparently, it's all about the transparency.

UPDATE: Maggie's Notebook and Gateway Pundit make an interesting connection to this December arrest in Pakistan of 5 American Muslims.

From CBN:

CBN News has learned exclusively that five Muslim soldiers at Fort Jackson in South Carolina were arrested just before Christmas and are in custody. The five men were part of the Arabic Translation program at the base.

The men are suspected of trying to poison the food supply at Fort Jackson.

A source with intimate knowledge of the investigation, which is ongoing, told CBN News investigators suspect the "Fort Jackson Five" may have been in contact with the group of five Washington, DC area Muslims that traveled to Pakistan to wage jihad against U.S. troops in December. That group was arrested by Pakistani authorities, also just before Christmas.

Coming as it does on the heels of November's Fort Hood jihadist massacre, this news has major implications.

Stay tuned to this blog for more details.

FOX News confirms the CBN News report (via iOwnTheWorld):

The U.S. Army is investigating allegations that soldiers were attempting to poison the food supply at Fort Jackson in South Carolina.

The ongoing probe began two months ago, Chris Grey, a spokesman for the Army’s Criminal Investigation Division, told Fox News.

The Army is taking the allegations “extremely seriously,” Grey said, but so far, "there is no credible information to support the allegations."

The suspects were part of a Arabic translation program called "09 Lima" and use Arabic as their first language, two sources told Fox News. Another military source said they were Muslim.

Grey would not confirm or deny the sources’ information.

*

SHOCKING! 5 Muslim Soldiers Arrested for Trying to Poison Ft. Jackson Food Supply