Obama Needs More Bacon

When Barack Obama opens his ample mouth, people make fun of him. You can take anything the man says and turn it against him. It's just too easy.

Statements like this make my world go round (about Mitt Romney's 2012 campaign): "You can pretty much put their campaign on, on a tweet and have some characters to spare." (Notice the grammar gaffe, "on, on.")

Queue the LOLOLOLOL:

While we know from the president's mouth that Moochelle Obama doesn't quite like to put things in her mouth,  it's obvious that Obama needs to fill his own. I suggest more bacon; a nice Burger King bacon sundae ought to do the trick.

Moochelle might not approve, but then she has a habit of planning lavish, high-calorie dinners on your dime because, well, she can:

The White House has proposed mandating meals for elementary school kids that include none of these items, or anything like them. Here, for example, is the Wednesday lunch from a proposal on the White House website. 

Chef’s salad: (1 cup romaine, .5 oz low-fat mozzarella, 1.5 oz grilled chicken) with whole wheat bread
Soft pretzel (2.5 oz)
Corn, cooked (1/2 cup)
Baby carrots, raw (1/4 cup)
Banana
Skim chocolate milk (8 oz)
Low fat ranch dressing (1.5 oz)
Low fat italian dressing (1.5 oz) 

Here’s what the governors got: 

Garden salad
Bread and butter
Ribeye steak 12 oz
Creamed spinach
Crab mac and cheese
Pear tart with ice cream
White wine 

Based on conservative estimates of caloric totals for each of the items that found their way to the governors’ plates, and assuming consumption of a single glass of wine from the bottles that were placed on the tables, the total intake amounted to about 2,250 calories. 

The recommended intake for an adult male during AN ENTIRE DAY is about 2,500 calories. For women, it’s about 2,000 calories.

You won't find that menu in Moochelle's new book, American Grown, but then again you have to show identification to get her to sign it while in most states you can vote if you're dead. It's all part of her Marie Antoinette act, telling you what's black and white for you to eat, all while she plays out 50 shades of grey on a daily basis as only a Demorrhoid can.

Dinner is even better if you attend an Obama fundraiser:

And break out your roulette wheel. You, too, can choose the next celebrity guest for a fundraising dinner! My lucky stars; I think it should be Madonna, baring itty bitty titty.

Such is life when you spend too much time jetting around the world, while your husband golfs and smashes fundraising records. It's hard to keep your focus. Did someone say we need more jobs?



Speaking of jobs, the Theft-Winger in Chief's Twitter account has been tweeting incessantly about the importance for the nation to hire more federal firefighters and teachers, the president apparently forgetting that there aren't any to begin with.

Which begs the question: Was it a Chevy Volt?

Bacon, Mr. President. Fill that big mouth with bacon. You may also want to try some Cherokee.