Saturday, February 27, 2010

Obama Proposes False Teeth Exchange in Healthcare Proposal

Thanks to a somewhat Regressive friend for playing along
and doing this fine Photochoppage for me.

DISTRICT OF CRIMINALS -- Seeking to continue momentum on his stunning victory this week over Republicans at the Blair House Healthcare Summit, pResident Joker proposed a radical new way to pay for his $1 trillion healthcare bill:

"There will be a Republican retirement check in every American's pocket and a relative's false teeth in every American's mouth," the pResident said today, during his weekly radio address.

The pResident said he came up with the stunning new ideas after listening to Republicans blather on Thursday about useless ideas for fixing the broken healthcare system, such as the insanely naive proposal of TORT reform and the ridiculous concept of living in New York but buying cheaper health insurance from Wisconsin.

"The economy just doesn't work that way," the pResident said. "Everyone knows the marketplace is evil and that the only good things come from Washington, D.C., such as hot air and crack cocaine."

The dramatic proposals break down like this:

Since half the country wants Democrats to stop working on the pResident's dream bill for healthcare deform, and Conservative Americans outnumber Regressives by a 2 to 1 ratio, Obama will use the American Community Survey to root out anyone who identifies themselves as Republican or Conservative and deport them to China, where they'll be much more comfortable living in a capitalist environment. In turn, the IRS will seize their assets and redistribute them based on need to anyone who indicates on the survey that they are Regressive.

"I think we'll pick up at least a trillion dollars by the end of this year," the pResident said.

Part two of the plan would take advantage of NY Congresscriminal Louise Slaughter's revelation that Americans are now resorting to wearing their dead relatives' false teeth to save on healthcare costs, by establishing a False Teeth Repository and Redistribution Exchange.

"I think that woman resorting to wearing her dead sister's false teeth embodies that brilliant ingenuity that Americans are known for the world over, and since my plan doesn't pay for dentures, we'll also help take care of the landfill problem by simply recycling everyone's false teeth when they die," the pResident said.



In related news, The Wicked Witch of Congress continues to assert that she can magically create 400,000 jobs the minute healthcare deform passes, by crisscrossing America on her broom and crop-dusting with a potion made from eye of newt and toe of frog and brain of Republican.

Meanwhile, pResident Joker also announced he planned to help feed those among the nation's 20 percent underemployed by nationalizing the major grocery store chains. "Breadlines are a sign of regress like no other I know of, except for maybe living without electricity and making clothing from bark," the pResident said. "But I inherited a lot of problems, and I admit it's taken me a lot longer than I expected to make things worse than they ought to be; we'll get there eventually."

32 comments:

Anonymous said...

absolutely histerical (as always). Pelosi can really ride that Gulfstream. One question though, where does she hide her Botox dialysis machine when she flies like that?

Andrew33 said...

I am "guest"

Matt said...

Wow, Nancy's broom has evolved with the times! 

Snarky Basterd said...

You're no guest; you're a friend who's always welcome here.

Opus #6 said...

Regressives.  That's great!  You did indeed find your funny bone.  This is good stuff. 

The District of Criminals has much to be ashamed of.

Barking Spider said...

Brilliant plan, SB - free false teeth for all - just wait until Gordoom hears about this - he'll be so jealous that he didn't think of it first. I do, however, believe that Labour will now be almost certain to include this idea in their election manifesto.  :-D

silverfiddle said...

"...root out anyone who identifies themselves as Republican or Conservative and deport them to China, where they'll be much more comfortable living in a capitalist environment."

As Rush likes to remind us, the best humor has a solid element of truth to it...  Excellent post!

silverfiddle said...

Dammit!  Hos does the html formatting work in this thing?  Oh...  <span>The big buttons</span>...  I'm such a geek...

Snarky Basterd said...

Sorry about that. If this were WordPress I could fix it for ya.

Teresa Rice said...

Pelosi's broom has transformed!  Obama the nonsensical must be smoking or snorting something because he abviously doesn't live in reality. 

innominatus on February 27, 2010 at 12:38 PM said...

Looks like Pelosi is enjoying the turbulence a little too much...

lady di said...

It is a brilliant plan, now if I only had a sister and if she only wore glasses.........

The Conservative Lady said...

Great job Snarky.   The post is on it's way for posting at TCL's FB page. :)

Snarky Basterd said...

@Matt said the same thing. It's because she has the full backing of the federal government behind Pelosi Airlines.

Snarky Basterd said...

Oh, I think we can have a Eyewear Exchange, although I think, after all, contacts and cornea transplants would get scratched or cloudy. There's also the Joint Replacement Exchange, and even the Sex Change Exchange. It's a limitless plan that's good for all.

Snarky Basterd said...

Well, thank you, TCL!

Snarky Basterd said...

Thanks, Opie. It's been too long gone.

Snarky Basterd said...

I hear it's one of the reasons that Gordoom is surging in the polls ... well, that and he's been seeing giving free blow jobs every Saturday afternoon at Hyde Park.

Ron Russell said...

Some year back I worked at a small dental lab run by our state senator---I should add illegally. As he took the impressions and made the dentures himself cutting out the dentist. All teeth made for the local voters  were made without cost to the voter, notice I said voter. Needless to say Senator Rayborn was elected time and time again by the greatful voters of his district. The local dentist hated him, and occasionally he was served with a warrent which quickly vanished as strings were pulled in the capital. Forgot to mention while he was in office I never had to pay for a speeding ticket---the fix was in.

Ron Russell said...

Some year back I worked at a small dental lab run by our state senator---I should add illegally. As he took the impressions and made the dentures himself cutting out the dentist. All teeth made for the local voters  were made without cost to the voter, notice I said voter. Needless to say Senator Rayborn was elected time and time again by the greatful voters of his district. The local dentist hated him, and occasionally he was served with a warrent which quickly vanished as strings were pulled in the capital. Forgot to mention while he was in office I never had to pay for a speeding ticket---the fix was in.

Don said...

LOL!!

Karen Howes said...

"But I inherited a lot of problems, and I admit it's taken me a lot longer than I expected to make things worse than they ought to be; we'll get there eventually."

Yup. Today it's actually gettig pretty hard to true stuff from satire.

innominatus said...

Looks to me like Pelosi is enjoying the turbulence too much...

Anonymous said...

Sounds like the good ole boy Demonrats here in my town Ron!!!

HoosierArmyMom said...

<span>Sounds like the good ole boy Demonrats here in my town Ron!!!  </span> ;)

HoosierArmyMom said...

Well Snarky... you definately got your funny Mojo back!!!!  Love it, but I agree with innominatus, ole Nancy looks like she's got more than mojo happening!!!!

Ex-parrot said...

Haha, well done sir!  Love the images too.

Bunni said...

Funny Stuff, SB,  I think all the used false teeth obummer collects should be used
to bit him to death.  

Woodsterman said...

Sounds Great O' Snarkess One. Anyway, we all know it's Bush's fault !

Woodsterman said...

I forgot, That's the best Obama/Joker I've ever seen !

MK said...

Nicely said Snarky. As for the false teeth, you first obama. :-D

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