Monday, February 8, 2010

11 Possible Blows Mahmoud Could Deliver on Feb. 11

Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, psycho Ill Kim’s brother from another mother, is at it again, telling whoppers even bigger than SubZero would dare to declare.

The Iranian president’s threat to reveal a harsh blow to the West on Feb. 11 has world leaders getting their panties all in a wad, even those of the great anti-American pacifist pResident SubZero. I’m terrified of this pixy, too. After all he might try to sprinkle stupid dust on everyone.

While exploring my fear I was able to uncover good intelligence and determine several possible blows Mahmoud might carry out that day:

He might launch missiles capable of reaching as far as the outskirts of Tehran.

He might unleash a plague of goats on the Earth.

He might accuse us of … the nerve of him! … causing global warming.

He might declare that he is not homosexual; he just prefers sex with clean men rather than dirty women.

He might call Obama racist.

He might declare Iran a constitutional republic, release all jailed dissidents, and lock himself up for having a nose that’s probably bigger than his penis.

He might tell the world that his favorite breakfast cereal is Fruit Loops, doused with a healthy dose of liquid Prozac.

He might declare that the United States doesn’t exist and never did exist, and that any claim the U.S. can squash him like a bug (if we had a pResident who didn’t need to ask his wife if he could take his balls with him to play war with the guys for the weekend) is a fabricated Zionist plot to destroy Islam.

He might grab his crouch and do the moonwalk.

He might announce he’s scheduling a fashion show to release his new line of underwear bombs.

He might threaten to hold himself hostage if Iran can’t have nukes.


innominatus on February 8, 2010 at 12:26 PM said...

Ahmadinejad threatens "harsh blow", Barney Franks says "I'll gladly accept!"

(wish I could take credit but I saw it at Scooter's Report)

sig94 on February 8, 2010 at 12:31 PM said...

He'll have to put his teeth back in to do that.

Snarky Basterd on February 8, 2010 at 1:32 PM said...

He has teeth?

Always On Watch said...

Hey, thanks for add this comment widget. Makes my life so much easier. You know how I am: if I visit, I want to comment.

Snarky Basterd said...

And I like you to comment! Plus it gives this place the nested comment feel that I liked about the Word Press site.

Bunni said...

He has unleased a plague of goats on the earth, they are in the white house, congress, and the senate!

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