Good News: Census Bureau Hassles Homeschool Families

Some of you may recall my response to the Census Bureau selecting, ordering me to participate in the American Community Survey and the 2010 Census (so that, IMAO, pResident Zero can find out just how many of us teabaggers out here he really has to conquer and divide).

Funny thing is, Census workers haven't come around to find out what I really have to say. But they sure don't have a problem with badgering large homeschool families who've already filled out the Census, making them answer the questions all over again.

Here's an email conversation Mrs. Snarky Basterd came by today (names removed for privacy):

Next census

I won't bother spending an hour filling out the paperwork - they came anyway and had to fill out everything all over again for 11 people. What a waste of my time and government money.

EMAIL WRITER #1


RE: Next census

They called me after I filled the whole thing out and sent it back immediately. They called me up and hassled me *unbelievably* about it - asking not only all of the questions again but about 20 questions PER PERSON on our Census [like "for any part of the year did this person live in a retirement home?" yes/no "for any part of the year did this person live in a federal prison?" yes/no and on and on over and over for each kid. And then "What is your relationship to this person? Spouse, biological parent, adoptive parent, etc etc etc?] FOR EACH child after I already told her I was a single mother living alone with my 6 biological children. She told me it was punishable by law and illegal for me not to answer each and every question ad nauseum, which I believe is a lie.

Anyway, just saying I'm right there with you on hating the Census. bleh.

EMAIL WRITER #2

[As I've mentioned before....

After seeing my own Census package, I took out the worn, dog-eared copy of the Constitution I've been carrying around in my jacket pocket for the past 10 years and, turning to the first page, under Article 1, Section 2, read the entire amount of the information I am "REQUIRED BY LAW," according to the Founders, to provide to the federal government:

Representatives and direct Taxes shall be apportioned among the several States which may be included within this Union, according to their respective Numbers ...

In other words, you are required to tell the federal government how many people live in your house but ... not their names, not their race, not the kind of home you live in, not when you moved there, not "the actual sales of all agricultural products from this property," not what kind of fuel heats your home, not how many vehicles you own, not how much you spent on water or heat during the past 12 months, not how much your mortgage payment is, not how well you speak English, not what kind of health insurance you have, not if you are deaf or can't dress yourself or if you piss in an outhouse because you don't have running plumbing.

Not. One. Word. Of. It.

The email exchange continues...]

RE: Next census

My worker was nice enough - she said she'd take it home and fill out all the rest of the family and all the rest of the blocks - but yes, she said they'd keep coming until it was filled out. I'm sorry they threatened you - I simply don't believe they have a right to all that info - whether biological or adopted or whatever or ethnic background - I don't see the Founding Fathers caring what race people are - at least in regards to threatening them. She will probably spend about 30 more minutes filling mine out.

EMAIL WRITER #1

[The Census workers probably wanted to find out how many family members they could get to sign up for welfare: "40 million individuals in the U.S. now receive food stamps, the highest figure in American history. The cost: a startling $73 billion a year. Fans of the welfare state and Democrats -- but I repeat myself -- claim that the economy is to blame. While that's no doubt a factor, the uncomfortable truth is that the Obama administration seems bound and determined to get as many households as possible addicted to food stamps."]

RE: Next census

They came here too EMAIL WRITER #1 - good thing (depending how you look at it) - is that my husband never did fill ours out! They ended up getting their info anyways.

EMAIL WRITER #3


RE: Next census

She said everyone she talked to had said they sent theirs in - I heard from a number of people who have big families that they came to their homes anyway since they had so many kids.

EMAIL WRITER #1

And then you have this situation where the Census hasn't even found a family, even though they have two separate addresses:

RE: Next census

I'm sorry, but I find it offensive that they make a distinction between being an adoptive parent or biological parent to a child. What difference does that make when they are all your children! I wonder if they are adopted if they ask if you adopted domestically or internationally. I guess I would probably get thrown in jail because I would tell them it makes no difference to me, so if they want to know, they can look it up!

Because we are renting our house out in ___, we weren't sure which census to fill out. We never received one here because it probably got forwarded to the homeowner. I am not sure if they appeared at our house in ___. Anyway, they haven't tracked us down yet, so next time you hear from me, it might be from a jail cell! LOL

EMAIL WRITER #4

[That's what happens in a country where private pay shrinks and government jobs balloon and the average American becomes an indentured servant to bureaucracy. Maybe if they'd done like me, sending the Census back with only one question completed -- the number of people who live at my address -- they could have saved themselves all this trouble.]

*

Good News: Census Bureau Hassles Homeschool Families

WTF Is Wrong With First Lady Boobs?

For once I'm jealous of the French. If there's one thing going for them, it's boobs, and who better to represent than Carla Bruni?

Frankly, I don't see what the scandal is all about (via Fistful of Donuts):

Carla Bruni-Sarkozy left little to the imagination when she arrived at a state dinner without a bra in a figure-hugging dress.

The French first lady apparently exposed her lack of underwear in a tight floor-length Roland Mouret gown as she graced the Elysee Palace in Paris.

Those poor bastards. They must equate having beauty to being retarded (that's a direct quote from Rahm Emanuel, by the way).

Obviously, they haven't had to look at this:


Or, for gawd's sake, this?

This problem calls for radical change. Hope and change, if you will.

I just think as a nation we must re-consider our priorities. Since we haven't necessarily been happy with at least three of the past four presidents (ok, 3 and 3/4s, since the first 2 or 3 years of that W. administration were pretty awesome), it's time we stop electing presidents on the basis of voters.

We need to incorporate some sort of weighted score based on the hawtness of the potential first lady, the lack of boob belt, or the need for boob haltering, the better.

*

WTF Is Wrong With First Lady Boobs?

Liars, Thieves, and Clowns #4

Posted on behalf of Jamie


A friend, Dave, nagged me to do this… keep nagging. BTW, Dave – Important safety tip: if the Pentagon is on fire, get out next time.


The White House’s most frequent visitor, Andy Stern – the head of SEIU is now officially on the WH team to bring down the deficit. You remember him, the guy who just said, “Workers of the world unite, it’s not just a slogan anymore” How appropriate to have someone grossly responsible for the deficit to be on the team to bring it down…


So, how’s Nancy Pelosi doing on that whole draining the swamp, ending the culture of corruption thing…?


We have such a weakling for a president.

*

Liars, Thieves, and Clowns #4

Return to Community Organizer in Chief, Part 2

The other day I mentioned the Obama administration had a special duty for me:

I was selected ordered to participate in the American Community Survey (ACS). Never heard of it? Neither did I, until the edict arrived in the mail from the Community Organizer in Chief, via one of his many bootlicking lackeys, Robert M. Groves, director of the United States Department of Commerce.

I'll receive the survey in a few days, the edict tells me. The 28-page questionnaire [download a pdf here] is separate from the Census. My response to both (emphasis theirs) documents is “required by U.S. Law.”

As promised, the survey came today, in a thick envolope with these bold letters stamped on the front: YOUR RESPONSE IS REQUIRED BY LAW. As I mentioned the other day, this isn't your run of the mill government survey, not when I'm being expected to answer questions like this (emphasis mine):

• What is your name, address, and date of birth?
• What is your race?
• Are you Hispanic, Latino, or Spanish origin?
• Where were you born?
• What is your ancestry or ethnic origin?
• How many cars do you have at your house?
• Do you have a flush toilet?
• Do you have a sink with a faucet?
• How much is your rent/mortgage?
• Do you have a second mortgage? How much is it?
• Are you covered by a health insurance plan? Which type?
• Do you have serious difficulty hearing? Seeing? Concentrating, remembering, or making decisions?
• Do you have difficulty dressing or bathing?
• How many times have you been married?
• When did you last get married?
• Where did you work last? What’s the address?
• What time do you leave home to go to work?
• What is your income?
• What is your retirement/pension?
• Do you have a VA disability rating?
• What’s the most important thing you do at work?

And I'm not your run of the mill American sheeple.

After seeing the package, I took out the worn, dog-eared copy of the Constitution I've been carrying around in my jacket pocket for the past 10 years and, turning to the first page, under Article 1, Section 2, read the entire amount of the information I am "REQUIRED BY LAW," according to the Founders, to provide to the federal government:

Representatives and direct Taxes shall be apportioned among the several States which may be included within this Union, according to their respective Numbers ...

In other words, I'm required to tell the federal government how many people live in my house but ... not their names, not their race, not the kind of home I live in, not when I moved here, not "the actual sales of all agricultural products from this property" (it's too damned cold to grow weed in the winter, dummies), not what kind of fuel heats my home, not how many vehicles I own, not how much I spent on water or heat during the past 12 months, not how much my mortgage payment is, not how well I speak English, not what kind of health insurance I have, not if I'm deaf or can't dress myself or if I piss in an outhouse because I don't have running plumbing.

Not. One. Word. Of. It.

Which is why, once again, this piece of shit questionnaire is going back to the District of Criminals marked "Return to Community Organizer and Chief," like the letter notifying me I had been selected ordered to participate in the ACS, with only one question completed -- the number of people who live at my address -- along with a copy of the Constitution:

*

Return to Community Organizer in Chief, Part 2

Return to the Community Organizer in Chief

Today I was selected ordered to participate in the American Community Survey (ACS). Never heard of it? Neither did I, until the edict arrived in the mail from the Community Organizer in Chief, via one of his many bootlicking lackeys, Robert M. Groves, director of the United States Department of Commerce.

I'll receive the survey in a few days, the edict tells me. The 28-page questoinaire [download a pdf here] is separate from the Census. My response to both (emphasis theirs) documents is “required by U.S. Law.”

That's an interesting statement, considering that I have been on this earth for nearly 43 years and this is the first time I've ever been selected ordered to complete even the Census.

The survey goes far beyond the 10 basic (but unnerving) questions the Census will posit, which will inquire about such information as who lives under my roof, their names, dates of birth, and race, questions I would be uncomfortable answering for a marketing company let alone our leviathan federal government -- the nation's top employer and most oppressive engine.

No, the getting to know you phase of the questionnaire, the edict tells me, that will “show not only the number of people who live here [in America], but how (again, emphasis theirs) we live as a Nation” goes much, much deeper. Some of the ice-breaker questions, lifted for convenience from Big Government's Bob Hamer, include everything from the intrusive to the downright inane (any emphasis from here on out is mine):

• What is your name, address, and date of birth?
• What is your race?
• Are you Hispanic, Latino, or Spanish origin?
• Where were you born?
• What is your ancestry or ethnic origin?
• How many cars do you have at your house?
• Do you have a flush toilet?
• Do you have a sink with a faucet?
• How much is your rent/mortgage?
• Do you have a second mortgage? How much is it?
• Are you covered by a health insurance plan? Which type?
• Do you have serious difficulty hearing? Seeing? Concentrating, remembering, or making decisions?
• Do you have difficulty dressing or bathing?
• How many times have you been married?
• When did you last get married?
• Where did you work last? What’s the address?
• What time do you leave home to go to work?
• What is your income?
• What is your retirement/pension?
• Do you have a VA disability rating?
• What’s the most important thing you do at work?

I'd like to know what the federal government intends to do with such information. You can imagine my skepticism about giving up such private information, when a clearly defeated pResident still plans to use his Congresscriminal henchweasels to shove health care deform down our throats through reconciliation, presumably, because “he hasn't explained it well enough” to us woeful simpletons.

You can also imagine that I'd want to know why the government needs to ask me how much money I make … when I'll already be answering that question for the IRS come April 15. They certainly don't need to know my flushing habits, unless it's their edicts that I'm flushing. They don't really need to know “the most important thing I do at work.” After all, I don't work for the federal government. That's information to be kept between my employer and I … because I don't even work for any of the industries the pResident has nationalized.

I think I'll pass on this order, thank you very much.

Naturally, that decision will not sit well with the federal government:

The American Community Survey is conducted under the authority of Title 13, United States Code, Sections 141 and 193, and response is mandatory. According to Section 221, persons who do not respond shall be fined not more than $100. Title 18 U.S.C. Section 3571 and Section 3559, in effect amends Title 13 U.S.C. Section 221 by changing the fine for anyone over 18 years old who refuses or willfully neglects to complete the questionnaire or answer questions posed by census takers from a fine of not more than $100 to not more than $5,000.

I don't care.

First I'll be sending the notification letter back marked, as you saw in the image above, “Return to Community Organizer in Chief.” Next, I'll send the ACS back, and finally the Census, marked the same way. I want to see just how far the federal government is willing to go with this mandate.

Before I'm fined, apparently I'll receive visitation from Census Bureau employees: The ghost of ACORN past, the ghost of ACORN present, and the ghost of ACORN future. (I'm still not convinced the Census Bureau has cut ties with ACORN, and they certainly haven't cut ties with SEIU).

I'm their huckleberry -- although I don't think they'll appreciate climbing my front steps to find me sitting on a bench, holding a loaded AK-47 across my knees, and my subsequent demand that they leave my proprety by their own means ... or mine.

I'm pushing back not because I'm not willing to follow the Framers intent for the Census -- I'm not looking to deliberately scuttle the attempt to apportion the number of seats in the House of Representatives. I'm standing up because this survey is a direct intrusion into my private life, and it's none of the federal government's goddamned business how long my drive is to work or whether I have working plumbing or whether or not I can dress myself.

You should follow the same path. Don't be intimidated by their false threats, by their corny marketing language about wanting to know “how we live as a nation.” It's all bullshit; they want to know who is a productive member of their socialist utopia … and who they can leave behind to rot as useless detritus, unworthy for inclusion in the People's Worker Collective.

Send a message: This pResident needs to learn that he works for you, not the other way around. Tell him he can keep his asinine “community” survey.

Oh, and one more thing: Tell him he can kiss your radical rightwing teabagging mobster racist evil-monger flyover country ass.

*

Return to the Community Organizer in Chief

Snarky Photo Reel: Obama's Week in Review #6

Posted on behalf of Jamie...double click to embiggen images (dummy Blogger reduces them too small)

It’s a damn good thing that Barack Hussein Obama (Mmm, mmm, mmm) isn’t GW… If GW had called a Navy corpsman a corpse-man, the press would have had a field day over his ignorance… Maybe if The One knew what the words meant, and didn’t just read them off a teleprompter, mistakes like that wouldn’t occur…

Ya gotta wonder what it’s going to take for people to realize this POS is a communist…

Don’t forget, Barack Hussein Obama (Mmm, mmm, mmm) was the Constitutional scholar that said the Constitution was “fundamentally flawed” - this genius knows so much better than those dummies that founded this nation. They did not share His enlightenment.

Bahney thought he’d get lucky after the dropping of “don’t ask, don’t tell”…

*

Snarky Photo Reel: Obama's Week in Review #6

BREAKING! Secret Death Panel Orders Democrats to Take the Blue Pill

WASHINGTON -- Rather than continuing to fund expensive health care for foundering politicians, particularly when the president brags he’s “got a doctor who follows me everywhere,” a secret panel of bureaucrats has ordered Democrats to take the blue pill.

The decision comes as President Barack Obama’s agenda continues to crumble, evidenced by a cap and tax bill going nowhere in the Senate and a contentious health care plan that no longer offers a public option and a plummeting approval rating hovering just barely above 40 percent only 8 months after his inauguration.

This means that Democrats will continue to live in bliss, ignorant of their fractious factions having no idea whatsoever how to be a real party and coalesce under a potential crushing majority and of their predictable ability to self destruct and of their lack of understanding of why millions of Americans are attending Tea Parties, Recess Rallies, and Town Hall meetings in anger, to protest federal insanity not seen since the 1960s.

It will also be as if Obama were never elected: he’ll never know that young people and senior citizens and members of his own base (to quote the enemy, even) think he’s a useless tool who can’t get anything done despite a mesmerizing message during the campaign that now translates into the reality of being “hopeless change."

Members of the “death” panel attributed their decision to the ground-breaking work of Obama’s chief health advisor, Ezekiel Emmanuel, brother of the president’s union thug enforcer, Rahm Emmanuel, according to a report obtained by Feed Your ADHD. The report says: “politicians without any concept of how to handle their duties, and the bureaucrats they appoint, should be sacrificed for the common good, immediately.”

Rather than take the blue pill, Dr. Emmanuel decided, instead, to take his own life, via autoerotic asphyxiation. Others were not so lucky…or, maybe they were.

“Hey…I take the little blue pill all the time, and I’m quite comfortable with the erection lasting longer than 4 hours,” said Vice President Joe Biden. “I just put it to good use out there at the Lincoln Memorial. I’ve found a girl who works out of the back of a PT Cruiser; she knows how to handle such things, and she’s helped me become quite fond of humping Lincoln’s stone leg.”

Reports indicate that Obama went off to Camp David today as a ruse to continue his summer vacation, but in actuality to take his blue pill in the relative torture of a place where Ronald Reagan spent much of his time as president, Obama hopelessly thinking he’d learn something about accomplishing anything at all from America’s last great president. Instead, sources say, Obama found the Ghost of the Gipper was only interested in telling Obama to “take the pill; take the pill. Do us all a favor, and take the pill.”

At the same time, Senate majority leader Harry Reid is said to have stood on the Hoover Dam wondering if he should jump and take his own life or pop his pill and continue his blissful ignorance; unfortunately he finally decided that someone might say his death was “going to help us,” and he took the blue pill.

Interestingly, it is possible that Henry Waxman may have given his blue pill to his illegitimate child, Bat Boy. Meanwhile, Nancy Pelosi, the Wicked Witch of Congress, may or may not have taken her pill, but she obviously took something because she was seen this morning flying up and down The Mall on her broom, shouting, “I’ll get you, my pretties. I’ll get you!”

DEVELOPING….

*

BREAKING! Secret Death Panel Orders Democrats to Take the Blue Pill