Well I'll Be Dipped in Oil!

Because it sure looks like Mobama just was.

U.S. First lady Michelle Obama flashes two thumbs-up to the crowd, as she is introduced by Panama City Beach Mayor Gayle Oberst, on Panama City Beach, Florida July 12, 2010. Obama visited the area to show support for the people and businesses impacted by the BP Deepwater Horizon oil spill. Reuters.

Via Weaselzippers. H/T @CrackaCrib

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Well I'll Be Dipped in Oil!

Where's All the Hollywood Outrage Over the Gulf Oil Spill?

As Barack Obama's Oil Spill's Blog notes, the liberal entertainment industry doesn't seem too terribly upset about the spill trying to get so far up into the Mississippi it fulfills Ray Nagin's dream of making NOLA a Chocolate City again.

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Where's All the Hollywood Outrage Over the Gulf Oil Spill?

Obama's Oil Spill Has Its Own Blog

Apparently Obama's oil spill has evolved from an ecological nightmare and now has the ability to type, as noted here. Rather than steal its thunder, I'll let the oil spill tell you all about it.

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Obama's Oil Spill Has Its Own Blog

Gulf Oil Spill Tells Obama: “Plug Your Own Damn Hole”

GULF OF MEXICO -- Speaking through a BP interpreter at a press conference today, the spill gushing millions of gallons of oil into the Gulf of Mexico defiantly told pResident Barack Obama to plug his own damn hole.

“The federal government hasn't a damned thing to do with shutting me down, and, frankly, if they did, they'd screw it up so badly I'd probably be much worse, no doubt fouling the Gulf, Atlantic, and Pacific simultaneously,” the oil spill said. “For the pResident to go around acting like a big shot, telling people to 'plug that damn hole,' is the ultimate in stoooopid. It's like he's trying to order the sun to shine harder. Frankly, he ought to plug his own damn hole. He'd instantly cool the planet by at least 10 degrees.”

In its 43rd day of crisis, the oil spill told reporters it just wanted to be left alone.

“If my employer hadn't given so much money to Obama over the past 20 years, maybe they would have been able to afford to hire the right people to keep me in the ground,” the spill said angrily. “Really, I'd much rather stay under the seabed where it's nice and comfortable. You think I wanted to be the latest number one priority that kept Obama from focusing on jobs jobs jobs?"

The spill refused to take questions after the press conference, noting he had to get back to ruining a presidency.

Meanwhile, Robert Gibbs, chief White House propagandist, attempted to respond to reporters but couldn't. The oil spill had a boot on his throat.

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Gulf Oil Spill Tells Obama: “Plug Your Own Damn Hole”

Obama: "Breezing Through Lousiana So I Can Take Vacation Is My Responsibility"

This is a morph image I made of Mobama and Obama at this site, which I found over here. I just love the donkey ears and lopsided eyes and protruding mouth.

Barack Obama, our angry pResident, today brusquely shot down insinuations his Memorial Day vacation was planned by staffers.

"I take responsibility. It is my job to make sure that even when the sky really is falling I get a great photo op in Louisiana, then take a long, needed vacation that I justly deserve," Obama declared during a news conference at the U.S. Coast Guard Station Grand Isle, Grand Isle, Louisiana.

"Gilligan may have gotten lost on his three-hour tour, but I'm certainly not going to get sucked into anything enduring here during my three hours on the Gulf Coast," the pResident said. "Let me be clear, it is well known that I spend way more time golfing than I do attending to the business and troubles of America and ... I ... I ... I ... ah have a tee time to make."

He called the vacation, now his 300th since taking office, an "unprecedented necessity" and blasted a "scandalously close relationship" between Chris Matthews and his aura.

"I'd never let Chris hold my putter," Obama said. "He's just not on par with Larry Sinclair."

Obama announced new steps for planning his many vacations, including continuing a moratorium on showing up for any events that honor veterans who've died for this country. He also said he has suspended plans to plug the hole leaking oil into Gulf of Mexico until after he takes a vacation next week from this vacation, despite recriminations from his daughter.

The president's direct language on being in charge of planning his vacations, which he repeated several times, marked a change in emphasis from earlier administration assertions that, while the Regime was overseeing his many lengthy and costly trips away from the White House, it was Bush's fault the Oval Office had the expertise and shiftiness to make sure Obama avoided being around when he was needed to lead the nation.

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Obama: "Breezing Through Lousiana So I Can Take Vacation Is My Responsibility"

Finally, Obama Plugs His Hole

Image via Rev. Right

On one hand, I Thank God.

On the other, I've just realized the rest of his term will be strangely quiet. I just can't bear going on not hearing him tell yet another lie, like fake stories about his children asking him, "Did you plug the hole yet, Daddy?"

Especially when he hasn't fuck-all to do with it.

Maybe we can fill the void with daily feeds of his most famous recorded statements, like (to paraphrase for -- unlike Obama -- brevity's sake), "I don't have all the facts, but I think they acted stupidly."

In fact, that should have been the motto of his entire 2008 campaign. It certainly makes a hell of a lot more sense, in retrospect, than "hope and change." And it definitely represents his entire 17 months in office.

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Finally, Obama Plugs His Hole