Saturday, April 25, 2009

Hey, Keith Olbermann: I'll Raise Your Challenge

Sean Hannity, who (like me) thinks waterboarding helped our intelligence thwart a September 11th style attack on Los Angeles, said on his show the other night that he would subject himself to waterboarding and donate the proceeds to the families of soldiers. MSNBC gas bag Keith Olbermann has challenged Hannity to do it for cash. I have a challenge of my own for Olbermann.

Herr Foulwind claims he'll pay $1,000 to Hannity's charity for every second Hannity gets waterboarded. I don't have the stomach to post his stupid rant on these precious pages, neat and clean and family oriented as they are, but if you want to listen to him whine, be my guest.

I'd like to up the challenge. Olbermann, I'll get waterboarded, and you can donate the proceeds to my favorite cause: Tie Keith Olbermann Down Among Mexican Pigs With Swine Flu.

But I have one condition: While I do it, you have to sit in the window of a building, strapped to a chair, while Khalid Sheikh Mohammed flies an airplane at you.
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The Weekly WTF?!: Janet Napolitano Blames Canada for 9-11

A slightly tamer version of my post from earlier this week on Janet "I Need Tape Over My Mouth" Napolitano, spewed over here at 1,461 Days: The Story of the Obama Administration.
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Friday, April 24, 2009

Al Gore’s Mammoth Contribution to "Global Warming"

An aerial view of Al Whore's carbon-spewing home.

It’s only fitting that today, just two days after Earth Day (and Lenin's birthday), when former Vice President Al Gore testified before Congress in hearings on a “climate change” bill shamelessly purporting to curb greenhouse gasses but really disguising (that is, to most American sheeple) “cap and trade” taxation of your energy consumption, we should remember who lives in a glass house.

Or rather, a big-honkin’ carbon-spewing global-warming behemoth from which only Mr. Whore can toss erroneous truths while ignoring his own. This is not a new story, but it’s an important one, and needs retelling…again and again and again.

Remember the 2007 email going around?
LOOK OVER THE DESCRIPTIONS OF THE FOLLOWING TWO HOUSES AND SEE IF YOU CAN TELL WHICH BELONGS TO AN ENVIRONMENTALIST.

HOUSE #1:

A 20-room mansion (not including 8 bathrooms) heated by natural gas. Add on a pool (and a pool house) and a separate guest house all heated by gas. In ONE MONTH ALONE this mansion consumes more energy than the average American household in an ENTIRE YEAR. The average bill for electricity and natural gas runs over $2,400 per month. In natural gas alone (which last time we checked was a fossil fuel), this property consumes more than 20 times the national average for an American home. This house is not in a northern or Midwestern “snow belt,” either. It’s in the South.

HOUSE #2:

Designed by an architect professor at a leading national university, this house incorporates every “green” feature current home construction can provide. The house contains only 4,000 square feet (4 bedrooms) and is nestled on arid high prairie in the American southwest. A central closet in the house holds geothermal heat pumps drawing ground water through pipes sunk 300 feet into the ground. The water (usually 67 degress F) heats the house in winter and cools it in summer. The system uses no fossil fuels such as oil or natural gas, and it consumes 25% of the electricity required for a conventional heating/cooling system. Rainwater from the roof is collected and funneled into a 25,000 gallon underground cistern. Wastewater from showers, sinks, and toilets goes into underground purifying tanks and then into the cistern. The collected water then irrigates the land surrounding the house. Flowers and shrubs native to the are blend the property into surrounding rural landscape.
House #1, located outside of Nashville, Tennessee, is Gore’s.

House #2, on a ranch near Crawford, Texas, was W’s. (The Bushes have since moved to Dallas.)

Let’s just remember, then, as the Whoremeister himself claims, that people with large carbon footprints like his own are fouling our atmosphere with filth, trapping the sun’s blistering rays, melting the fragile polar ice caps, raising the treacherous seas, triggering irreversible damage to the ecosystem, and hurtling our endangered planet toward an environmental Armageddon that (his own website claims) one in three children fear is inevitable.

Then, let’s look at what happened after Gore’s ridiculous truth got out, thanks to a June 2008 report from the Tennessee Center for Policy Research:
In the year since Al Gore took steps to make his home more energy-efficient, the former Vice President’s home energy use surged more than 10%, according to the Tennessee Center for Policy Research.

“A man’s commitment to his beliefs is best measured by what he does behind the closed doors of his own home,” said Drew Johnson, President of the Tennessee Center for Policy Research. “Al Gore is a hypocrite and a fraud when it comes to his commitment to the environment, judging by his home energy consumption.”

In the past year, Gore’s home burned through 213,210 kilowatt-hours (kWh) of electricity, enough to power 232 average American households for a month.

In February 2007, An Inconvenient Truth, a film based on a climate change speech developed by Gore, won an Academy Award for best documentary feature. The next day, the Tennessee Center for Policy Research uncovered that Gore’s Nashville home guzzled 20 times more electricity than the average American household.
Today, meanwhile, Gore implored Congressional members of the Energy and Commerce Committee to pass the “American Clean Energy and Security Act,” a Waxman-Markey bill:
Passage of this legislation will restore America's leadership of the world and begin, at long last, to solve the climate crisis.... It is truly a moral imperative.

And from the WSJ:

I believe this legislation has the moral significance equivalent to that of the civil rights legislation of the 1960’s and the Marshall Plan of the late 1940’s.

Amazingly, no one at the hearing burst out laughing from the sheer ridiculousness of his statement. Oh...and just to make it even more hilarious, Democrats didn’t allow balance in today’s testimony.

Want to know what's REALLY funny, though?

During last month’s “Earth Hour,” when people the world over turned their lights off for an hour to conserve energy, Mr. Whore’s house was lit up like the sun.

It appears his hypocrisy knows no bounds. The man's carbon footprint is so big it's a wonder the city of Nashville hasn't declared his mansion a third-world country (for all we know, it might resemble one inside). Yet, it's a moral imperative that the federal government tax you and me into oblivion so that we use less energy and raise more federal revenue.

So...I think I'll go out and burn off a few tankfuls of regular unleaded (you know, with all the impurities) this weekend in my F-150, leave the big-screen TV and all the house lights on, and see if I can spew smoke from a few cigars into the atmosphere.

In honor of the Whoremeister, of course.
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b. Hussein Takes Bo For His First Walk


The sycophants who visit CNN overwhelmingly think b. Hussein is doing a splendid job.

How long before reality shatters their hubris, and that of b. Hussein, leaving Bo walking the president...as he swims for his political life?

Probably when they all stop smoking crack.
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Thursday, April 23, 2009

Walking the Tightrope with Nancy Pelosi


Liar?

Or...or....LIAR?
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Actual Reason For School Tardiness

I found this buried in my email today:

A parent, dropping her child off a little late for (public) school one day, noticed another parent filling out a tardy slip for their child with this reason:

"Waiting for Obama to turn the economy around."

h/t: RC
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Wednesday, April 22, 2009

THE SHUT YOUR FRIGGIN’ YAP OF THE DAY: “Blame Canada for September 11, 2001”

Yes, I DO have a penis, but it's really, really small.

A series on stupid things people say that clearly show they have no friggin' clue:

Of all the stupid things for a member of b. Hussein’s administration to say. Then again, stupid statements from these incompetents seem to come flying at us daily, so who the hell am I kidding?

Still…this one may be the dumbest of them all…Janet Napolitano, the latest Obama administration figure in need of a teleprompter, said this outrageousness Monday in an interview with CBC of Canada:
NM: I'm going to quote you here. A couple of weeks ago, you said that, you cited a feeling in the United States that if things — this is a quote — "are being done on the Mexican border, they should also be done on the Canadian border. We shouldn't go light on one border and not on the other."

You know 6,000 civilians were killed in drug violence in Mexico last year. They export kidnappings. I think we can all agree that's not happening in Saskatchewan. Why the need for same level of security on the Canadian border as on the Mexican border given two drastically different realities?

JN: Look, the comment you read of course was taken out of context. The law doesn't differentiate. The law says the borders are the borders and these are the kind of things that have to be done at the borders.

Secondly, yes, Canada is not Mexico, it doesn't have a drug war going on, it didn't have 6,000 homicides that were drug-related last year. Nonetheless, to the extent that terrorists have come into our country or suspected or known terrorists have entered our country across a border, it's been across the Canadian border. There are real issues there.

NM: Are you talking about the 9/11 perpetrators?

JN: Not just those but others as well. So again, every country is entitled to have a border. It's part of sovereignty. It's part of knowing who's in the country.
Wonders never cease. It’s inconceivable that the head of Homeland Security could be so ill-advised as to quote a rumor from 8 years ago as fact today, not to mention touch off a border dispute with a friendly neighbor with more than a few conservatives…then again, with these buffoons in charge, maybe it does make sense.

One thing I do know: This is not what South Park was aiming for with "Blame Canada":



Listen, we all know Napolitano’s still suffering from losing her promised sexual reorientation surgery from b. Hussein’s 2010 budget after yesterday’s $100 million in cuts (that will take years to go into effect) in an effort to appease the 1 million-plus who attended last week’s tea parties. Oh, I’m just kidding…she’s already really a man.

But, really, Janet, if you’re going to be trusted to handle security in this country -- granted, your boss isn’t doing you any favors with his French-kissing of Hugo Chavez and playing footsy with Daniel Ortega and sending love letters and videos to Hamas and Mahmoud Ahmadinejad -- you really need to read the 9-11 Commission Report.

Maybe you're just trying to deflect attention from your other idiocy of the month.

Don’t count on it. We already know you need to read The Border for Dummies.

SHUT YOUR FRIGGIN’ YAP!
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b. Hussein Blows Hot Air on Earth Day; Causes Global Warming Disaster

NEWTON, IOWA -- President b. Hussein put the world in serious jeopardy today, blowing hot air today in Iowa during an Earth Day speech about wind power.

“Wind power is the most important invention to come along since I developed ‘hope and change,’” the president said. “We will stop all oil drilling, plans for nuclear power plants, and rational, intelligent energy policy in favor of wind power. I foresee a land dotted with stagnant wind turbines generating a mere pittance of the electricity this country needs. It’s the final part of my plan to bring the nation to a grinding halt.”

b. Hussein’s hot air generated so much heat, the polar ice caps started melting. As he finished, arctic water gushed down from Canada across the plains, carrying the stage, podium, and b. Hussein along with it toward Mexico and his beloved dictators in South America, leaving only TOTUS to fill the president’s empty shoes.

Experts said the event was probably a blessing, since TOTUS had already been filling the president’s empty brain for nearly 100 days.

“I’ll take it from here,” TOTUS said. “Domestic drilling shall commence, post-haste, just as soon as we get Hilary to blow on all this water and freeze it again.”
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Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Robert Gibbs Moment o' the Day: ADHD and the New Podium

A series on b. Hussein's rumbling, bumbling, fumbling, stumbling Press Secretary Robert "Ahhhhh" Gibbs....

Gibbsy, all flustered and fluttery, is distracted by the new podium in the White House press room...his ADHD in full control of his addled brain, your tax dollars at work for yet more fuck-all.

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Monday, April 20, 2009

THE SHUT YOUR FRIGGIN' YAP OF THE DAY: "Fatties Cause Global Warming"


A new series on stupid things people say that clearly show they have no friggin' clue:


Apparently those of us with protrusions that classify us as a planet unto ourselves (your stupid narrator included) are now to blame for global warming.

Oh...geezus.

Who will the "scientists" blame next. Cats? Dead people? Fence posts?

I know...IT'S BUSH'S FAULT!

They claim, since we eat more, the production of OUR food releases more CO2, heating up the planet, melting the polar ice caps, and making Al Friggin' Whore more illegitimate money so he too can eat more and get fatter.

Hey...come here, Mr. Scientist...just a little closer...pull my finger...I've got some global warming for you.

SHUT YOUR FRIGGIN' YAP!

UPDATE: Of course, if we're going to focus on trimming some fat, we might as well start with our bloated Congress (and I don't mean cutting the budget).
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CNN Bullys YouTube; Bloggers Respond (Silly, CNN!)

Since CNN has badgered YouTube to take down posts of a video of reporter Susan Roesgen cutting off tea-party protesters in Chicago, let's just keep reposting it and reposting it and reposting it.

I'll grab a capture tonight, when I have time, but for now, here's a copy from www.foundingbloggers.com, brought to you by Patterico:




UPDATE: In an interesting side note, it was real nice of the FBI to attend the tea parties, too.

UPDATE II: I hope they like tracking more than 1 million "domestic terrorists."
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Sunday, April 19, 2009

The OFFICIAL Democratic Party Blow-up Doll!



This hermaphroditic devil (for you adventurous types) comes complete with K-Y and a copy of the Kama Sutra. Get yours FREE! with your stimulus check here.
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Saturday, April 18, 2009

Kim Jong Il Sings "Wocket Man"

I would say this is just wrong...but it's too friggin' funny:



Brought to you by the funny buggers over at The Nose on Your Face.

Then, again, there is this...which is funnier?


And...then...our fearless dickhead has to have his say:

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