No Country For Brave Men?

Image courtesy of Woody's Place.

All the loser Alinsky-ite cockroaches are skittering from their cracks in the walls over the Arizona immigration law.

From the Racist in Chief to the cities of San Francisco and Los Angeles, both of which hold the appeal of a romp in the sack with a booze-addled homeless woman wearing newspaper for underwear, they're gorging on the race card like contestants hammering Kobayashi in a hotdog eating contest. Even the great full-blooded Latino Al Sharpton has been seen wiping mustard on his sleeves between gobbles.

Now a Congresscriminal from New York is bleating that Major League Baseball should pull its All-Star game from Phoenix (a city who's mayor is threatening to sue over the law, probably because he's eying higher office):

A New York congressman who called for the league to move the 2011 game from Phoenix is the latest person to push for an economic boycott against the state in protest of the new law. Companies have been pulling conferences out of Arizona resorts while others have suggested consumers shun companies, such as US Airways, that are based in the state and have yet to condemn the the law.

"I think that when people, states, localities make decisions this monumental, they should know the full consequence of that decision," Rep. José E. Serrano, D-N.Y., said. "I think Major League Baseball, with 40 percent Latino ballplayers at all levels, should make a statement that it will not hold its All-Star Game in a state that discriminates against 40 percent of their people."Serrano also did the YMCA dance today over the House putting Puerto Rico within the reach of statehood, not that Puerto Ricans want to become the 51st state (or is it the 58th?), but when have Democrats ever listened to their royal subjects, anyway?

This crap must stop. Let them march on 70 cities. Let them boycott. Let them send nasty letters to the headquarters of Arizona Iced Tea ... in friggin' New York, while they obviously suck down one too many Long Island Iced Teas.

But let's not allow America to become no country for brave men. If we can't stand up for a state so desperate for the federal government to do its job they've taken federal law into their own hands, we can't stand up to the Socialist in Chief who ignores us every time we clearly indicate we no longer want anything to do with his sh***y deal.

I'm about to pack the F-150 with the family and basic necessities and burn a dozen tankfuls of fuel or so on a trip to Arizona and scope out a new place to live. (Figuratively, of course, but in earnest nonetheless.) I want to reside in a state that has more stones than the pResident's wife (she has two sets, hers and Zero's), where I can pack heat without a permit, where taking a stand and doing something about injustice still means something.

Because if the federal government won't fulfill its Constitutional duty to secure our borders and every nutter who hasn't bathed since 1967 wants to stand in the way of a state that does, it might as well come down to the old ways, the wild wild west ways, and, I'm sorry, but today's ever-so-sensitive pseudo-intellectual libtard with a Beemer and no cojones just needs to get the hell out of the way and let real Americans take over, for their own good.

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No Country For Brave Men?

Obama Regime Appoints PitchingPrompter

A PhotoChop by Jamie

With props to commenter Judie Collins for saying the pResident had no "throwing prompter."

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Disappointed with pResident Barack Obama’s first-pitch performance on opening day at Nationals Park, the Obama Regime today announced a historic appointment, the nation’s first PitchingPrompter Czar.

The PitchingPrompter will be put to the test this Saturday in Chicago, where it will throw out the first pitch at US Cellular Field, the ballpark formerly known, to Obama, as Comminsky Park. It will be used in place of the traditional presidential first pitch, started in 1910 by William Howard Taft, during all such outings in the future, including limo rides with Larry Sinclair.

The Regime chose the machine after seriously debating an alternative plan, having Obama better explain how a first pitch will help the American people understand the game of baseball, during 17-minute, 2,500-word speeches from the mound.

Described by the always sagacious Washington Post as throwing a ball that “floated, slowly and with great loft, in the general direction of home plate, but -- metaphor alert! -- wild and far to the left,” Obama threw a pitch on Monday that actually looked like it had the trajectory of a ballistic missile, and maybe not by coincidence.

“Some have speculated that the pResident may have thrown that way on purpose, to make fun of girls,” White House Spokesman, Robert “Ahhh” Gibbs, said during a press conference introducing the PitchingPrompter. “The truth is the pResident used the occasion to practice our new national defense initiative, Project Eephus Pitch, which, we don’t mind announcing to our enemies, we’ll institute in response to any chemical or biological weapon attack, as opposed to launching tactical nukes.”

But when CBS’s Jake Tapper countered Gibbs, asking, “Why then, did the pResident tell announcer Rob Dibble up in the booth during the game that he couldn’t understand why the pitch was so terrible, saying, ‘Everything I threw in practice was over the plate, every time’” -- Gibbs just cackled and turned away and pointed at the machine.

“See … ahh … how shiny?” Gibbs said.

Still dangling from the device, swaying like a teabag, a small label contained the following product description: “Like a teleprompter, the ACME PitchingPrompter is designed to make you look far more adequate than you actually are. Guaranteed to turn eephus pitches into 100-mph fastballs, to soften jeers into cheers, and, when asked, to even name your favorite White Sox player for you.”

Speaking of favorite players, after long deliberation -- not the three months it took him to decide to send troops to Afghanistan, but, still, long enough -- Obama released a statement today that finally answers Dibble’s question, “who was one of your favorite white sox players growing up?”

“You know, ahh, I-I thought that …ahh … the truth is I didn’t have my teleprompter with me when he asked, so … ahh … I-I didn’t have the right answer at the time. But now that I do … ahh … I-I … ahh … I can give Rob an answer: Ernie Banks.”

Meanwhile, sources tell Feed Your ADHD that Obama is privately blaming the entire affair on his predecessor.

“If that damned George W. Bush didn’t look so manly when he threw out the first pitch during the 2001 World Series, the American people wouldn’t know any better. Maybe our next move should be to nationalize Major League Baseball and order all the teams to play soccer, you know, the game of my ‘home country, in Kenya,’” the pResident has allegedly told insiders.

Cross-posted at iOwnTheWorld.com

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Obama Regime Appoints PitchingPrompter

Eephus in Chief

It was big and bloated and backdoor and embarrassing ... and I'm not even talking about Obama's WealthShare plan.

Like Obama's regime, the eephus pitch in baseball is junk. It's designed to catch you off guard. It's deceptive and wasteful and low rent and un-presidential.

Which is precisely why it fit Zero so well when he threw out the first pitch at today's Washington Nationals game.

I just have one lingering question: Why no mom jeans, girly man?

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Eephus in Chief