Poor Man's Botox ... UPDATE: Shave-Driving Is Apparently a Problem Too

NEWARK -- Six city women seeking backside enhancements have been hospitalized in the last two months after getting injected with mixtures of hardware-grade caulk, silicone and petroleum jelly, according to a report in the New York Post.

The New Jersey Department of Health reported the incidents, and hospital officials said the injections all happened in hotels around the Newark area, the paper reported. The women were all from the Dominican Republic. No one has been charged.

A spokesman for the New Jersey Department of Health also reports that the six women now have backsides that are completely waterproofed and weather sealed to withstand a Category 5 hurricane.

ADMIN UPDATE: It seems shaving the nether regions while driving is even more dangerous than texting. From Jammiewearingfool:

As authorities nationwide warn motorists of the dangers of driving while texting, Florida Keys law enforcement officers add a new caution: Don't try to shave your privates, either.

Florida Highway Patrol troopers say a two-vehicle crash Tuesday at Mile Marker 21 on Cudjoe Key was caused by a 37-year-old woman driver who was shaving her bikini area while her ex-husband took the wheel from the passenger seat.

"She said she was meeting her boyfriend in Key West and wanted to be ready for the visit," Trooper Gary Dunick said. "If I wasn't there, I wouldn't have believed it. About 10 years ago I stopped a guy in the exact same spot ... who had three or four syringes sticking out of his arm. It was just surreal and I thought, 'Nothing will ever beat this.' Well, this takes it.

JWF was also gracious enough to share a little diddy that Iowahawk left over in the comments of Ace's version of this true-but-funneh:

Shavedown" (Brian Wilson / Iowahawk)

Wax it up, wax it up, cooter gonna shave you down!

It happened in the Keys where the road ain't wide,
A '95 T-Bird with white trash inside,
Yeah, a booze-injected bimbo and her mullet ex,
Revin' up her Remington for some boyfriend sex.

Wax it up, wax it up, cooter gonna shave you down!

The Remington's blades are really startin' out to buzz,
But now they're gettin' clogged and bogged down in the fuzz
To get some traction she's ridin' the clutch,
The smell of burning bush is really gettin' too much!

Swervin' down the road, and the sirens sound
Now her mohawk is the talk of town
Moral of the story, when you want the fuzz to go
Next time buy a Lady Norelco

Wax it up, wax it up, cooter gonna shave you down!

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Poor Man's Botox ... UPDATE: Shave-Driving Is Apparently a Problem Too

Demophobia

I live in Upstate New York. It is really a very beautiful state if you don't mind snow.

And corrupt politicians.

We keep losing NYS democrat pols due to various indiscretions:

Gov. Elliot "Spanky Spanky" Spitzer liked to romp with $4,000 dollar a night hookers and was asked to govern elsewhere;

The Lt. Gov. under Elliot Spitzer and current NYS Gov. Dave "Shut Up Bitch" Paterson announced last week that he is not running for reelection after influencing a domestic violence victim to not show up in a case against his top aide, David Johnson -- Paterson may still resign;

Fifteen term NY Congressman Charlie Rangel is stepping down from Chairman of one of the most powerful Congressional committees after - oh you know -- Snarky already tore him a new one;

And now brand new first-term NY Congressman Eric Massa announced today that he is resigning - after ethics complaints were lodged against him for sexually harassing one of his male staffers.

So now I am suffering from demophobia. A fear that if I step outside the house I will be insulted, robbed, beaten or buggered by a democrat politician.

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Demophobia