Finally, Obowma pays deference to someone with far more class, far more balls to tackle real fiscal problems instead of avoiding them on the golf course ... finally Zero bows to someone who deserve it, NJ Gov. Chris Christie:
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Friday, July 30, 2010
Wednesday, July 28, 2010
Thursday, July 15, 2010
Wednesday, July 14, 2010
Well I'll Be Dipped in Oil!
Because it sure looks like Mobama just was.
U.S. First lady Michelle Obama flashes two thumbs-up to the crowd, as she is introduced by Panama City Beach Mayor Gayle Oberst, on Panama City Beach, Florida July 12, 2010. Obama visited the area to show support for the people and businesses impacted by the BP Deepwater Horizon oil spill. Reuters.Via Weaselzippers. H/T @CrackaCrib
Sunday, July 11, 2010
The CrackaCrib Spangled Banner
I saw this tweeted today on Twitter and just couldn't help but share it with my fellow crazy crackers out there (courtesy @CrackaCrib):
O say can't you see that my crib's got your life
What you sleep through @ night'll be your undoing.
With broad stokes of my pen, through the force of my bills
O'er you I will rule, your minds no longer thinking
And with my badass stare
My middle finger in the air
I'll give you proof aright
About the constituion I don't care
O say does your conscience even know how close I am
To destroying what you call free and deleting what you can't save.
Saturday, July 3, 2010
SHHHHH! I'm on a Secret Mission...
... so close to this ...
Via IOTW
... I can almost smell the stench. It's dangerous. If they catch me, I may never make it back safely to the red states. But I'm carrying the flame of the good guys, and I just might set the bastards on fire if they try to grab me.
If I'm not back by Wednesday, you can consider me captured and have my full permission to invade the District of Criminals to free me. Bring plenty of beer; Zero's already imbibed everything north of the Tennessee border.
This blog post will self destruct long after Zero's pResidency does.
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Via IOTW... I can almost smell the stench. It's dangerous. If they catch me, I may never make it back safely to the red states. But I'm carrying the flame of the good guys, and I just might set the bastards on fire if they try to grab me.
If I'm not back by Wednesday, you can consider me captured and have my full permission to invade the District of Criminals to free me. Bring plenty of beer; Zero's already imbibed everything north of the Tennessee border.
This blog post will self destruct long after Zero's pResidency does.
Monday, June 28, 2010
Robert Byrd Dies, Named KKK Grand Dragon of Hell
Senator Robert C. Byrd (D-WV) died early this morning at Inova Hospital in Fairfax, Va. Upon arriving in Hell, he was immediately appointed KKK Grand Dragon.Byrd was greeted at the gates of Hell by long-time friend Ted Kennedy, who made an unsuccessful bid for president of Hell last year shortly after his own arrival.
“Having … ah … Senata Byrd at my side again can only improve my … ah … chances of … ah … taking this place ova when elections come around again next yeya,” Kennedy said.
Byrd, for his part, cried when he saw Kennedy again. “Ted, Ted, my dear friend, I love you, and I missed you,” he said.
Satan, Kennedy’s rival for control of Hell, welcomed Byrd to his kingdom of filth.
“It is with great honor that I bestow the title of KKK Grand Dragon on Senator Byrd,” Satan said. “Only a true Democrat – and we’re all Democrats down here in Hell – could have uttered the great statements he has made over the years.”
Satan spent the next 40 hours regaling the gathering crowd of demons, radical Islamic suicide bombers, and former elected Democrats, recounting many of Byrd’s earthly statements. Here are the highlights:
- “They call me 'The Pork King,' they don't know how much I enjoy it.”
- “There are white niggers. I've seen a lot of white niggers in my time. I'm going to use that word…”
- “The Klan is needed today as never before and I am anxious to see its rebirth here in West Virginia.”
- “It is necessary that the order be promoted immediately and in every state in the Union…”
- “Will you please inform me as to the possibilities of rebuilding the Klan realm of W. Va.”
- “I will never submit to fight beneath that banner with a Negro by my side…”
- “Rather I should die a thousand times, and see Old Glory trampled in the dirt never to rise again … than to see this beloved land of ours become degraded by race mongrel … a throwback to the blackest specimen from the wilds."
Cross-posted at PatDollard.com
Friday, June 25, 2010
I Guess The pResident's Brain Transplant Didn't Work Out So Well
It's been a year since Michael Jackson died, allowing other events to unfold. Let's take a look back at something that may explain a lot about why the Failure in Chief has had such a bad year.
Previously posted in July 2009:
LOS ANGELES -- As millions prepared to watch a memorial service for Michael Jackson, at the Staples Center and via live feed on theater and arena screens around the world, details began to emerge about Jackson’s brain having been removed for transplantation into the skull of President Barack Obama.
“This guy was elected under the guise of being the smartest president ever; six months into the job he’s demonstrated more stupidity than all of the previous 43 presidents combined,” said Harry Nosering, MD, chief neurosurgeon for St. Moonbat Hospital in Los Angeles, who will conduct the transplant. “Michael’s brain can’t be any worse for the president than his own; plus, if we do the wiring right, he’ll be able to dance and grab his crotch and say ‘dah!’ during his speeches!”
White House Press Secretary Robert Gibbs confirmed the pending operation, scheduled for later this week after the president returns from Russia, where he agreed yesterday to reduce America’s nuclear arsenal in exchange for a pack of Cloves, a case of vodka, a loan of 100 trillion rubles to fund Cap-and-Slave and national health care, a rabbit fur hat, and a promise that Russian President Dmitry Medvedev will get him North Korea leader Kim Jong-Il’s autograph.
“It’s…ahh…going to be…ahh….really cool,” Gibbs said. “Actually, it’s a three-way operation, with…ah…the president getting Michael’s brain, me getting the president’s, and…ahh…Joe Biden getting a lobotomy, so that he stops making outrageous statements to reporters, such as he wouldn’t ride mass transit during a swine flu outbreak and that America’s okay with Israel bombing Iran.”
Jackson died from a cardiac arrest at his Beverly Hills mansion on June 25 after a suspected overdose of painkillers. Sources at the coroner’s office revealed that his brain was removed before his body was released to relatives the next day.
One expert explained that the operation would actually be quite simple given that the three living men involved have very small brains that have barely, if ever, been used, and that Jackson’s brain was very well-preserved from years of apparent drug use. At various times, Jackson is said to have been taking Demerol and Oxycontin for pain from old back and leg injuries, and formaldehyde to keep his skin looking like a child’s.
“It’s really run of the mill surgery, to tell you the truth,” said Snappy Bottomburns, a former neurosurgeon and one of America’s foremost mad scientists. “I would imagine that since the president really can’t do anything without TOTUS at the moment his new brain will be quite an improvement. I would caution, however, that the president will have to be monitored for signs of cosmetic surgery addiction, given his new brain, particularly with the ears. I’d watch his ears in photographs very, very carefully over time.
“Besides, we’ve come a long way since Dr. Frankenstein. Surely Michael Jackson’s brain will perform better than Abbie Normal’s.”
Then again, maybe not.
*
Previously posted in July 2009:
King of Pop’s Brain to be Implanted in King of Pork!
LOS ANGELES -- As millions prepared to watch a memorial service for Michael Jackson, at the Staples Center and via live feed on theater and arena screens around the world, details began to emerge about Jackson’s brain having been removed for transplantation into the skull of President Barack Obama.“This guy was elected under the guise of being the smartest president ever; six months into the job he’s demonstrated more stupidity than all of the previous 43 presidents combined,” said Harry Nosering, MD, chief neurosurgeon for St. Moonbat Hospital in Los Angeles, who will conduct the transplant. “Michael’s brain can’t be any worse for the president than his own; plus, if we do the wiring right, he’ll be able to dance and grab his crotch and say ‘dah!’ during his speeches!”
White House Press Secretary Robert Gibbs confirmed the pending operation, scheduled for later this week after the president returns from Russia, where he agreed yesterday to reduce America’s nuclear arsenal in exchange for a pack of Cloves, a case of vodka, a loan of 100 trillion rubles to fund Cap-and-Slave and national health care, a rabbit fur hat, and a promise that Russian President Dmitry Medvedev will get him North Korea leader Kim Jong-Il’s autograph.
“It’s…ahh…going to be…ahh….really cool,” Gibbs said. “Actually, it’s a three-way operation, with…ah…the president getting Michael’s brain, me getting the president’s, and…ahh…Joe Biden getting a lobotomy, so that he stops making outrageous statements to reporters, such as he wouldn’t ride mass transit during a swine flu outbreak and that America’s okay with Israel bombing Iran.”
Jackson died from a cardiac arrest at his Beverly Hills mansion on June 25 after a suspected overdose of painkillers. Sources at the coroner’s office revealed that his brain was removed before his body was released to relatives the next day.
One expert explained that the operation would actually be quite simple given that the three living men involved have very small brains that have barely, if ever, been used, and that Jackson’s brain was very well-preserved from years of apparent drug use. At various times, Jackson is said to have been taking Demerol and Oxycontin for pain from old back and leg injuries, and formaldehyde to keep his skin looking like a child’s.
“It’s really run of the mill surgery, to tell you the truth,” said Snappy Bottomburns, a former neurosurgeon and one of America’s foremost mad scientists. “I would imagine that since the president really can’t do anything without TOTUS at the moment his new brain will be quite an improvement. I would caution, however, that the president will have to be monitored for signs of cosmetic surgery addiction, given his new brain, particularly with the ears. I’d watch his ears in photographs very, very carefully over time.
“Besides, we’ve come a long way since Dr. Frankenstein. Surely Michael Jackson’s brain will perform better than Abbie Normal’s.”
Then again, maybe not.
Thursday, June 24, 2010
It's Time to Burn My Beatles Records
And, yes, I do have some of the actual records, vintage ones too.Screw 'em. Opining today that the Gulf oil disaster is the perfect crisis with which to force cleaner, renewable, and un-Godly expensive and cost-ineffective sources of energy down our throats, Paul McCartney could have stopped there.
But he didn't:
"Sadly we need disasters like this to show people," McCartney said in an exclusive interview with The Sun. "Some people don't believe in climate warning -- like those who don't believe there was a Holocaust."No, Paul. I just don't believe in Beatles.
McCartney continued, "But the facts indicate that there's something going on and we've got to be aware of it if we want our kids to inherit a decent world, not a complete nightmare of a planet -- clean, renewable energy is for starters."
H/T: NoisyRoom.net
Tuesday, June 22, 2010
Democratic Underground Message Board (DUMB) Lays Down the Tolerance
"Tolerance" goes beyond the pale these days over at the Democratic Underground Message Board (DUMB), where moderators have brought down from Mount Insane a tablet of Commandmants governing inter-party dialogue.As Moonbattery points out, instead of simply saying ixnay on DUmmays attacking DUmmays, the Commandments "broadly" and "generally" list intolerable offenses ad nauseam in bulletpoints, the offense of which will have DUmmays who call out their own demoted to trolling Twitter or Blogger (since we all know Word Press is Teh Awesome in providing tools that repel odious trolls).
You can read a gloss of the lower points of Teh Law for yourself over at Moonbattery, or you can suffer through the full list over here in DUmmayland.
I'd rather dive into the real fun, thankfully brought to my attention by The Battle Bitch at Conservative Punks, some of the more hysterical reactions DUmmays had today to the new law of the land.
muriel_volestrangler takes it the gas chamber: "The idea of a political party is that you agree among yourselves the policies and candidates, and then stick together. The 'democratic' in DU explicitly refers to the Democratic Party, not just the adjective for democracy. Once you start saying "I like the Democratic Party, except for the following, who are worthless", then you're being an individual, not part of the party movement. And you will encourage others to insult your preferred candidates in a similar way, and you will be left with no way to object. DU has always been crystal clear about this. Anyone who has joined the website, and not noticed that is is about the Democratic Party, hasn't been paying attention. If you want all Democrats insulted and held as 'worthless' on DU, then keep advocating your 'right' to insult certain Democrats. It won't work, however."There's much, much more, but reading too much will leave you feeling better ...
SkyDaddy7 whines: "I too have been totally blown away by some of the comments I have seen leveled against our President...At times it seems like it becomes a contest of who can talk the worst about Obama. As much as I would like to see a full blown Liberal POTUS in America...That is not going to happen without someone like Obama to begin to shift the country back left SLOWLY in places and faster in others. America has been brainwashed for 30yrs to believe in Conservative Values and Conservative Values has it's own network & army of Talk Radio host many of which are paid 100's of millions of dollars to support corporate America. So, it is going to take time, lots of time! I think many wanted it to happen in Obama's 1st year."
Mstinamotorcity deep throats the moderators: "We as a people sometimes forget how to treat each other with the humanity that shows us to be the unique species of the planet. We have what it is I think one of the best opportunities of our lives,a President who wants to have an all inclusive America.And we as a people (especially Dems) have a chance to be doers instead of dreamers.I for one welcome the chance to prove that I believe in the human spirit and ready to discuss and weigh the points of view in clarity and help set an agenda that is good for all America.I know that in my heart of hearts their will always be someone who will not see things as I do, but I believe in their right to have their particular view. I do believe that sometimes with discussion you can reach different or better outcomes. I also believe that we need to stick more to fact,not fiction when pointing out certain problems.And I don't give a darn (I used a nice word), if something happens three or four years after our President took office, if its George W. Bush and Dick Cheney ( Dubya and Shooter's) fault, then it should be pointed out.Well any republican or democratic member of Congress who voted against the 98 percent of the country. And instead of arguing with infiltrators, hit them with information and links to disprove their points. This will help newcomers know the reason why we sometimes get worked up with fury and go a little off the ground with some of the things we write in response to ops. Since you have updated the rules as a member of the du community I will do my best to abide by them.Thank you very much Mstinamotorcity."
Better get a bucket because you'll most definitely be throwing up.
Saturday, June 19, 2010
I Am BO's Oil Spill's Blog
It's probably no secret to my regular readers who also blog, and certain others -- I am Barack Obama's Oil Spill's Blog. I kept it a little quiet for a bit from most of my non-blogging readers, but anyone who knows my regular posting frequency here can obviously tell I've dropped off both in amount and quality. And I certainly haven't been a good blog friend in returning everyone's visits or comments.
I apologize.
I've been really busy keeping my boot on the regime's throat over here. Plus Wild Thing #1 is playing summer baseball and the constant practicing and weekend-long tournaments are kicking all of our asses.
Please don't bail on ADHD. I'm nowhere near through skewering politicians and general overall stupidity at this place, but, obviously, the oil spill issue is an "opportunity in crisis."
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I apologize.
I've been really busy keeping my boot on the regime's throat over here. Plus Wild Thing #1 is playing summer baseball and the constant practicing and weekend-long tournaments are kicking all of our asses.
Please don't bail on ADHD. I'm nowhere near through skewering politicians and general overall stupidity at this place, but, obviously, the oil spill issue is an "opportunity in crisis."
Thursday, June 17, 2010
You Just Know Charlie Crist Got Caught Staring at the Wrong Behind
Maybe it's a little more blatant than when Zero got caught looking (except, in Zero's case, we all knew he really was looking at the paper on the step).
Poor Charlie. He makes it look sooooo convincing. When you just know he was wishing The One was in that thong.
Images via Powerline
Tuesday, June 15, 2010
Obama Gives Part of Arizona to Mexicans
And whyyyyyy not? Why not ban from part of their own country those racist Americans trying to keep illegal, non-U.S. citizens from entering and entrenching themselves in their country? Who the hell are those awful white and black and brown and green and yellow and polkadotted Americans to try to defend their property, their rights, their way of life, and that little thing called the Constitution?
Dummies. All of them. Let's just go ahead right now and give all those lands we kicked Mexico's ass over back to those nice people who come here illegally -- you know, the drug lords, the one's carrying those nice guns, the ones killing people, both Mexican and American, on our sovereign soil. Let the douchenozzle dream of Aztlan become reality.
What a great guy we have in the Oval Office, the best ever. Why, he's so awesome we'll probably wave our electoral laws and nominate him King for Life. He's just that damned awesome.
Video below H/T: Logistics Monster
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Dummies. All of them. Let's just go ahead right now and give all those lands we kicked Mexico's ass over back to those nice people who come here illegally -- you know, the drug lords, the one's carrying those nice guns, the ones killing people, both Mexican and American, on our sovereign soil. Let the douchenozzle dream of Aztlan become reality.
What a great guy we have in the Oval Office, the best ever. Why, he's so awesome we'll probably wave our electoral laws and nominate him King for Life. He's just that damned awesome.
Video below H/T: Logistics Monster
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