Rasmussen Should Have Asked: Do You Want a Chance in Life, or Do You Want To Be Completely Screwed?

A new Rasmussen Reports poll says only 53 percent of American adults believe capitalism is better than socialism. But what if the poll questions went like this:

1. Do want to pick your own doctor… or would you prefer to wait for one all day in an overcrowded hallway between a slobbering drunk who keeps farting and drooling on your shoulder and a man with no legs oozing something green that puddles and forms a trail toward your shoe?
2. Do want to have low fuel costs… or would you prefer to pay $9 a gallon due to exorbitant taxes because the government wants you to drive two-seat matchboxes with 20-hp engines or take mass transit that Muslim extremists are particularly fond of bombing?
3. Do you want to pay a reasonable tax rate so that your government can maintain a decent security force and limited laws that allow you to pursue what you believe is in your own best interest… or would you rather the government take half or more of your earnings and tell you what you can do, when you can do it, and who you can do it with?
4. Do you want to work for a living and try to live in a nicer neighborhood and send your kids to better schools and maybe retire a little early to that second home on the beach… or do you want the government to pay you not to work and sit around and watch TV and get fat simply because industry is taxed so ridiculously high there aren’t enough jobs to go around?
5. Do you want your employer to do well enough in business so that you may get a promotion and maybe a bonus and maybe buy that diamond necklace for your wife for your anniversary… or do you want your employer’s business to be stagnant and earn the same as the guy who counts staples all day and does three times less work because the company is run by the government, which knows as much about creating wealth as it does about governing itself.

I don’t know. I’m just askin.’

But I’m pretty sure the results for the first part of each of these 5 questions would be a little higher than friggin’ 53 percent.

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Rasmussen Should Have Asked: Do You Want a Chance in Life, or Do You Want To Be Completely Screwed?

SHOCKER! Obama Offers Cuba Statehood

WASHINGTON, D.C. – In an effort to dramatically speed-up relations following a visit to Cuba by six House members in the Congressional Black Caucus (all Democrats), President b. Hussein offered Cuba the historic opportunity to become part of the United States.

“The Cold War ceased a generation ago but relations with our comrades in Cuba have remained frozen ever since,” b. Hussein said, reading from his teleprompter. “It is time this island of hope experiences a fast and rewarding thaw.” Looking up from his teleprompter, the president continued: “We…ahh…would like to make… ahh…an…ahhh… hist…ah…historic… um…um…hold on…I’m tired…hold on, now…announcement. The United States has…ah…offered Cuba the cha…umm…opportunity to become…ahh…the 58th state.”

After a brief second or two of confusion, while his teleprompter flashed blue and red halogen warning lights, the president quickly corrected himself: “The 50th state…I mean…ahh…the 51st state.”

The stunning announcement comes after Caucus leader Rep. Barbara Lee, a Democrat from California, visited with Cuban President Raol Castro and his revolutionary brother and former Cuban president, Fidel.

“It was an amazing visit,” Lee said. “It was everything Michael Moore said it would be. We found cheap medicine, and a great doctor who never even went to medical school! The neighborhoods were beautiful, much more so than most neighborhoods in America…you just can’t imagine what they can do with tin roofing and a 1955 Chevy down there! And the music! Oh my gosh! I met this young strapping dancer named Adolfo. Wow! Like…we danced all night and downed what must have been…like…20 mojitos each, and…well…like…I don’t really remember the rest, but I definitely want him to become my page here in D.C.!”

Nancy Pelosi, speaker of the House, said granting statehood normally would require Congressional approval, according to the Constitution. “But since we have all of Congress and the White House and believe that document is outdated anyway, we just felt there wasn’t any need to consult the Republicans, since we’d still win. I told El Apologista (“The Apologist”) he could just draft an executive order and save lots of valuable Congressional time and less valuable taxpayer money, and just get it over with in the Oval Office. Besides, we have a $4 trillion budget to shove down the American people’s throats this month. Oh…did I say that out loud? I meant, we have to move on with the important task of creating a more robust global economy and increasing global control over our interests, and it starts with the president’s budget plan for 2010.”

b. Hussein is said to be very fond of Castro’s communist imagery and is looking forward to consulting with the leader of the Cuban Revolution on some ideas of his own for national artwork in America.

A source familiar with negotiations, who chose to remain anonymous because the White House has no idea what they’re doing any given moment of the day, said the Castro brothers were considering the offer if the president would:

• Make Fidel Secretary of Re-education and immediately outlaw homeschooling, religious schools, and any other schooling not directly following the government’s agenda.
• Install Raol as governor of Florida and give him Miami for use as his personal palace.
• Apologize for 50 years of American arrogance toward Cuba, the Cuban people, Cuban cigars, Cuban rum, Cuban sharks, and Cuban boats.

When told of the news, Luis Guillermo Fortuño-Burset, governor of Puerto Rico, declared a holiday. With the U.S. adding Cuba as the 51st U.S. state, along with her valuable exports of Communism and poverty, it virtually guarantees residents of Puerto Rico will continue to enjoy the benefits of a self-governing commonwealth under the U.S. Constitution without having to pay any federal taxes whatsoever.

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SHOCKER! Obama Offers Cuba Statehood

What a Friggin' Trillion Dollars Looks Like

Four of these will make up b. Hussein's thieving budget next year.

h/t: Obnoxio the Clown

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What a Friggin' Trillion Dollars Looks Like

The Righteous Retribution of Barack the Barbarian

Mute and clad in a fur loincloth and armed with an ax...the dickhead-in-charge roams the streets of the America he created...or ruined.

"All new! Death-duel with the Screeching Enchantress!"

"Drafted: One Hundred Days of Shit!"

He's a "man the world never got to see achieve his true greatness when a race from beyond the stars drafted our planet into intergalactic war" because he fucked it all up with his socialist policies and took down the missile defense system and sent us all spinning into the oblivion of abject poverty.

Next up: "The Most Intelligent Man in the World Wonders Why He's a Friggin' Idiot."

UPDATE: So...if a character threatens his life, will the Secret Service show up in the next issue and haul him or her away?

Lots of images here.

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The Righteous Retribution of Barack the Barbarian

The b. Hussein Socialism Vice Tightens

From Stuart Varney of the WSJ:

I must be naive. I really thought the administration would welcome the return of bank bailout money. Some $340 million in TARP cash flowed back this week from four small banks in Louisiana, New York, Indiana and California. This isn't much when we routinely talk in trillions, but clearly that money has not been wasted or otherwise sunk down Wall Street's black hole. So why no cheering as the cash comes back?

My answer: The government wants to control the banks, just as it now controls GM and Chrysler, and will surely control the health industry in the not-too-distant future. Keeping them TARP-stuffed is the key to control. And for this intensely political president, mere influence is not enough. The White House wants to tell 'em what to do. Control. Direct. Command.

As I said months ago, in my nutty way, b. Hussein's goal was always clear:

We owe it to our government and you, our citizen-comrades, to provide a firm financial ground for everyone to stand on, since “government…[please take a dramatic pause to complete the re-creation of our Messiah’s proclamation]...is the only way for our economy to survive” these perilous times, because, you know, government has such a long history of balancing budgets and keeping careful watch over the people’s money.

At the National Bank of Obama, we guarantee your retirement, your kid’s education, your checking and savings accounts, your home loans, car loans, credit cards, burial plot, and your life-auto-home-business-health insurance, even your dog insurance.

....

This is only the first step in renewing the promise of America. In the coming months, the National Bank of Obama will fund efforts for renewable energy, stem-cell research, AND we’ll give Mexican illegals access to birth control! Someday soon everyone will even be able to visit their local bank to receive their paycheck, a flu shot, or be put to sleep if they can’t afford to eat any longer!

At least some in the MSM are waking up, leading Mr. Varney to conclude:

After 35 years in America, I never thought I would see this. I still can't quite believe we will sit by as this crisis is used to hand control of our economy over to government. But here we are, on the brink. Clearly, I have been naive.

Clearly, Mr. Varney, an entire country has been naive.

Where have we heard this story before?


UPDATE: From Ju (in the comments section), we learned about the actual text of this international takeover document from that rat's ass friggin' pickpocket b. Hussein, posted by But As For Me.

The video explanation from Dick Morris:



UPDATE II: Commentary and text of the document also appear here, at 1,461 Days.

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The b. Hussein Socialism Vice Tightens

Was Obama High? Of Friggin' COURSE He Was!

YouTube has disabled embedding of this video of Steve Croft's curiously pungent smoke-filled interview with b. Hussein for CBS..."upon request"...but just like the president...ve 'ave vays of making 'im tolk (on camera):



Credit (big friggin' time): FleetwoodFactor.

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Was Obama High? Of Friggin' COURSE He Was!

b. Hussein's New Playmate

You are my comrade.

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b. Hussein's New Playmate

Robert Gibbs Moment o' the Day: My G-20 Trip

A series on b. Hussein's rumbling, bumbling, fumbling, stumbling Press Secretary Robert "Ahhhhh" Gibbs....

Gibbsy flutters 23 "ahhs" during a milquetoast interview with a CBS bubblehead.

The good thing is that b. Hussein "really enjoyed" meeting the Queen, whom he acknowledged with a passive nod (while genuflecting to the deity of the King of Saudi Arabia) and gave an iPod she already had.

The Zero Crew Strikes Again!

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Robert Gibbs Moment o' the Day: My G-20 Trip

The Weekly WTF?!: b. Hussein's Arrogance

I'm cross-posting this stuff I've spewed over here at 1,461 Days - The Story of the Obama Administration, where I'm contributing some badly needed weekly radical conservative domestic terrorist biased snark. Stop by and give E P a few hits when you have some free time. (FOR THE FEDS: It was all HIS idea!)

Ah, I love the foul stench of arrogance in the morning and afternoon and evening and pretty much whenever our megalomaniacal president opens his mouth. He seems in particular to have doused himself with it this week, as freely as if his arrogance were the cheap cologne you’d find on a urine-soaked stumble bum trying to clean himself up for a job interview as a garbage man.

In remarks he made in Germany, Barack Hussein Obama, the leader of the nation everyone else turns to when they can’t fix their problems, and of the free world (a term I’m not quite sure he grasps the gravity of yet), labeled his own country “arrogant” and “dismissive” toward its allies.

His use of these incongruous words came during the same European b. Hussein Rules Tour! as such remarkable events as:

• He joined the New League of (Gov’t Cheese) Justice, snuggling up with the corrupt, the corrupted, and the downright incompetent, like a school boy lusting after a gaggle of teenage sexters, pledging to print more worthless money than George “It’s Been a Very Good Crisis” Soros made off your tanked investments, to contribute to Dr. “Gordon Brown” Evil’s $1 trillion plan to spread socialism, bankruptcy, and eternal poverty on earth.
• We learn today from Politico that Obama, when meeting with bailout-fed bankers over the hot-button issue of high compensation, the president quipped: “My administration is the only thing between you and the pitchforks.” This highly skilled use of the putdown happens to be keenly reminiscent of how The One fended off “negotiations” with Republican Congressional leaders over Porkulus, when he said: “I won.” Well. I guess the president has a highly developed sense of deflecting any argument (when he’s in private, not requiring a feed on his teleprompter from Gibbsy, et al) with the oldest form of comeback: Fuck You!
• The American Dream gave a cursory, incredibly standoffish nod when greeting the Queen of England…yet bowed like a servant to the King of Saudi Arabia, as if he were trying to kiss his shoes (and maybe look up his robes).

It wouldn’t be so bad if he weren’t going out of his way to help America run headlong into the mainstream socialist apocalypse that most among the G-20 nations have become. All he’d have to do is get off the b. Hussein Campaign Train and walk into the back alleys of some of the nations he’s touring, where he’d find high unemployment, a culture of welfare, and a general lack of understanding (from the masses, that is) of the concept of freedom.

It wouldn’t be so bad if he weren’t treating the monarch of our greatest ally with diffidence (or was he being, to use his word, “dismissive”?) while at the same time going so out of his way to pay hyperbolic respect to the monarch of a hotbed of terrorism as to appear subservient. It is clear the Obama Administration is attempting to “win over” Hamas, Iran, Saudi Arabia, the Taliban, and any other rogue or “credible” Islamic state or group with flattery, when, if he had anyone in his administration who did research, he’d know that these people see any overt attempts to treat them as if they walk on water as weak, and will likely generate flatulence (in the form of IEDs, or dirty nukes) in reciprocation.

It wouldn’t also be so bad back home, if there weren’t 62 million people who were cast under the spell that spewed from Obama’s forked tongue when, on September 12, 2008, in New Hampshire, while sprinting (is that racist?) to be the leader of the (soon-to-be-former?) free world, he said this: "I can make a firm pledge. Under my plan, no family making less than $250,000 a year will see any form of tax increase. Not your income tax, not your payroll tax, not your capital gains taxes, not any of your taxes."

Only to have His Arrogance raise the succubus (federal) tax on a pack of cigarettes on Wednesday by 62 cents. Anyone willing to bet their salary that a majority of those who smoke earn less than $250,000 a year?

Mr. President: Since you’re still a Marlboro Man, got a butt I could burn? I’d light up one of my own if I could, but I can’t afford anything these days, let alone your arrogance. And neither can the rest of us.

This week’s b. Hussein arrogance would therefore be a FAIL!

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The Weekly WTF?!: b. Hussein's Arrogance

Dr. "Gordon Brown" Evil

b. Hussein's evil brother from another mother....Today, in the U.K.'s The Sun.

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Dr. "Gordon Brown" Evil

Joe FREAKING Biden! (Featuring Rain Man)

Funny man Steven Crowder's latest:



h/t: Big Hollywood

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Joe FREAKING Biden! (Featuring Rain Man)

Speaking of Black Presidents

HOPE, Ark. — A bill that would make Bill Clinton's first home in Hope a National Historic site has passed the House and needs only the president's signature to become law.

The House of Representatives voted 285-140 on the measure that included the wording that would bring the Clinton home on Hervey Street under the National Park Service as one of 33 presidential historic sites.

The Senate earlier passed the bill, which now heads to President Barack Obama. U.S. Representative Mike Ross (D-Ark.), who has worked for years to help Clinton's first home attain federal status, said Obama is expected to sign the bill.

Let me guess...this will stimulate the economy, too.

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Speaking of Black Presidents

b. Hussein's Half-Sister Writing Book

It's called:

Lie, Cheat, Beg, Borrow and Steal: America's First Black President (after Bill Clinton)

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b. Hussein's Half-Sister Writing Book