Saturday, December 6, 2008

The Great 2008 Carmaker Swindle

I'm going off topic today (no humor again):

Let’s just say I have a business behind the times.

I’ve repeatedly ignored requests to make my product cost consumers less money to use and operate. I’ve created products in foreign countries that foreign countries can make better here in America – and sell cheaper. I’ve thrown cash around my business, and burned it, like I had a direct supply to the Federal Reserve.

I’ve propped up union bullshit like “job banks” and “retirement” benefits such as Viagra prescriptions and full health coverage to retirees to the point of impending bankruptcy.

I’ve repeatedly fought government agencies on “cleaner technologies,” even if some of those technologies might be cheaper to make than what I currently offer in my product. (Please suspend your disbelief about “climate change” and man’s ability to affect it, negatively or positively. Please ALSO suspend your disbelief in government programs, mandates, laws, and rip-offs in any shape or fashion, at least for the next few paragraphs.)

I’ve flown expensive, private flights to hearings with government officials who can wipe my ass if I play them right. I’ve pissed said government officials off by not being able to tell them how much taxpayer money I need to keep my business alive for a month, a quarter, a half-year, a year.

I take a couple weeks, throw a few numbers together, and come back to Congress (driving, of course) and tell them the Earth will flatten, the sky will fall, and we’ll all die if taxpayers don’t fork over billions of dollars to keep my flailing business afloat – until I can figure out how to sell it.

I manage to con a lame duck president and a Congress (that makes great boasts of protest against me) to cave in and give my business, which is doomed to tank, $15 billion of your money so I can survive for just a few months longer.

Are you pissed?

Or are you like this author, spending time at the wool factory getting your back sheared because you can't do a thing about it -- except NEVER buy their products again?


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