Tuesday, January 10, 2012

The Paulbot Creed

#1. Be Arrogant
#2. Be Condescending
#3. Be self-important
#4. Be self-righteous
#5. Tout your superior intellect to help overcome your lack of self-confidence (see numbers 1, 2, 3 and 4 then go straight to #15).
#6. Give slippery rhetorical answers to straight questions
#7. Hide/Ignore or spin Ron Paul’s congressional record of 23 Years in Congress, creating 620 bills of which 4 made it to the floor and only one became law.
#8. When cornered and have no truthful or direct response, spout angry, non-topic rhetoric as an answer, then see #19.
#9. Hide your democrat voting status from the public & pretend you're a republican.
#10. Blame everyone else, never take credit for a problems like Barrack Obama because we are closet Ultra-Liberals
#11. Berate and/or belittle your opponent whenever losing an argument, then see #19
#12. Blame America for the world hating the US and act like an Arab Psychiatrist/Pathologist when promoting the 9/11 Jihad conspiracy.
#13. Be courteous and direct others to their local cable or satellite channel that carries reruns of Conspiracy theory with Jesse “You deserve to lose a few” Ventura.
#14. Copy and paste data from whatever unreliable source you can find to try and validate your argument.
#15. Avoid/ignore any or all valid retort or facts that invalidate your agenda at all costs or whenever possible. (Go back to #6)
#16. Create a fictitious Facebook persona to hide your true identity like our Anarchist/OWS cousins.
#17. Make cowardly drive-by hit and run comment and/or “like” a fellow Paulbot’s hit and run comment.
#18. Bait adversaries by commenting/posting irrelevant points and/or points you were making during your last debate with someone totally different on another topic all together without looking like you are arguing with yourself. Try to avoid looking foolish at all costs.
#19. Scurry over to your nearest Ron Paul thread and alert other bots to join you and that you require assistance because you’re losing your delusional Liberal arguments. Then medicate, repeat, put on your drool bib and go back to marching in the paper slipper brigade.
#20. Follow #18 and 19 to the letter, then surround your opponent and take cheap pot-shots from your behind your fictitious Facebook persona (See #9 and #16).
#21. Before debating, avoid getting fecal matter in or behind your ears when removing your head from your rectum. This will be particularly useful when listening to CD’s of “Dr” Paul in your Toyota Prius.
#22. When casting your ballot for “Dr” Paul during online polls, remember to clear your cookies then repeat. Do this as many times as your fingers will allow or until the next episode of Colbert Reports, The Daily Show with Jon Stewart, or your Mother calls down to the basement stairs to tell you that “dinner is ready”.

Revised; January 5, 2012
By Scott Sawyer

Cross-posted at PatDollard.com
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